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Author
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Topic: Famous Quotes
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-06-2006 12:17 PM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Notable thoughts
[1] Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
[2] I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
[3] Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
[4] The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
[5] Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
[6] Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
[7] What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
- Mark Twain
[8] By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
[9] I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
[10] My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
[11] The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
- Jilly Cooper
[12] I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
[13] Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
[14] Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain
[15] My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Ed Furgol
[16] Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
[17] What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
- Henny Youngman
[18] I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
- Mark Twain
[19] Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up.
- Joe Namath
[20] Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
- Herbert Henry Asquith
[21] I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
--Bob Hope
[22] I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- WC Fields
[23] We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
[24] Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
[25] Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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