When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Why is American beer served cold?

So you can tell it from urine.

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

They who drink beer will think beer.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-For Whom the Bell Tolls,

He was a wise man who invented beer.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --

As part of the settlement of a recent tobacco lawsuit, all cigarette ads must be removed from Times Square. But don't worry folks, it's still okay to smoke crack there.