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Topic: Favorite Customer Quotes

Aaron Sisemore
Flaming Ribs beat Reeses Peanut Butter Cups any day!

Posts: 3061
From: Rockwall TX USA
Registered: Sep 1999

posted 05-19-2002 02:11 AM

'I can't hear anything out of the surround speakers' (very commonly asked during Woody Allen movies and during classic (pre-SVA optical) film presentations)

My reply: 'Not every movie has surround channel information on it'

Their reply 95% of the time: 'On my home theatre setup I hear the talking on all the surround speakers...' Idiots.

'Can you please rewind the film' Popular if patrons arrive late.

'Can you please pause the movie so I can [use the bathroom, go to the car, have a smoke, etc]?' Grrrrrrrrr!!

-Aaron

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David Stambaugh
Film God

Posts: 4021
From: Eugene, Oregon
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 05-19-2002 11:12 AM

"Is the Lion King really going to be only 30 seconds long?"

This after watching a three minute long trailer where the narrator stated that the Lion King is the 32nd full length animated feature from Disney.

Now THAT'S funny! LOL

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Ken Lackner
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1907
From: Atlanta, GA, USA
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 05-19-2002 01:43 PM

Some people are so stupid! That Lion King one is funny!

I've heard of customers asking to pause or rewind the film because they think they're special, but I've never encountered that one myself. The only time I've ever had a customer ask if we can rewind is if the sound crapped out or something like that.

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Scott Norwood
Film God

Posts: 8146
From: Boston, MA. USA (1774.21 miles northeast of Dallas)
Registered: Jun 99

posted 05-19-2002 03:36 PM

I've had managers ask me to rewind the film (in platter houses, too), but never customers.

Even if it were possible to rewind film on a platter, are customers stupid enough to believe that we would inconvenience several hundred customers just because _one_ person showed up late?

Of course, if there's a sound problem or something in the first 20 minutes or so, it would be possible to drop that film back on the payout platter and re-thread the projector (this works on Christie platters...not sure about others), but that would throw off the showtime schedule for the rest of the day.

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Neil Hunter
Film Handler

Posts: 74
From: Salisbury, NC, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 05-20-2002 02:32 AM

Last weekend when Spiderman opened, my theater played it on three screens. The customers would stare at the mylars sign in the box office, and see the showtimes for Spidey were a half hour apart a few times during the day. Then they would ask me if that movie was only 30 minutes long. Got that a few more times than usual that weekend.

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Kyle Watkins
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 185
From: Stuart, FL, USA
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 05-20-2002 07:49 PM

A guy ask "is this the movie theater" Well looking around you can see all the poster and the banners on the walls. I guess this guy never been inside a movie theater before.

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Tom Fermanian
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 101
From: Sainte Adele, Quebec, Canada
Registered: Dec 2001

posted 05-20-2002 07:55 PM

2 Good ones:
We close December 24th all the time (Past 52 Years gives Xmas Eve off to everyone) We have a big (40X60) sign stating this on an easel in front of the entrance doors and inscribe it on our Big Marquee wishing everyone Merry X Mas!, Well it doesn't miss every year, the watchman goes in to check on everything, as he's entering the premises he always gets from someone looking at the easel:" Are you Open Tonight?"

When we occasionaly sell out an auditorium, Our cashiers get asked: WHY ARE YOU SOLD OUT?"

------------------

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Mike Williams
Master Film Handler

Posts: 255
From: Knoxville, TN
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 05-21-2002 08:37 AM

My favorite is -

"This theater sucks! The movies are always sold out!"

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Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99

posted 05-28-2002 02:20 AM

Not a customer, but still a moron quote:

Recently I was getting an old booth prepared to be opened as a new art complex. The projectors are Simplexes, which leak oil because of crappy design. The company that used to own this theater had kitty litter boxes beneath each projector to collect the oil as it leaked. One of the guys who was doing construction downstairs walks through the booth and sees the kitty litter boxes, complete with spots of oil and asks "You guys have a cat up here?". I respond "You bet! All projection booths are required by law to have at least one kitty." His response to that: "Really?!"

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Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 17775
From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall)
Registered: May 99

posted 05-28-2002 02:36 AM

That's pretty funny! Perhaps you should've said "yeah a friend of mine used to manage this theater and he learned not to try and run the cat off. Apparently it attacked the last projectionist who tried to get it out of the booth and knocked him down the stairs as the guy was trying to stop it from clawing him. That guy is still in a coma, so I don't want to piss that thing off. I ran out of cat food, so I'll need to run to the store as soon as I get this round on screen, ok? I'm not getting paid enough to have a pissed off demonic cat prowling around in here!"

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Jacob Huber
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 172
From: Evansville, IN, USA
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 05-28-2002 02:40 AM

Back Story
----------
Today, Job Corps comes in with the usual 20-40 jail bound imbeciles. These guys were permanently banned from all of our theatres, which sucks for them because we are the only theatre chain in town, save a Kerasotes miles from the main hustle of our "fair" city. The reason the were banned is becuase of about 10 of them were sexually harrassing literally every girl in the building (12 year old girls began crying to their mothers because some 25 year old black guy was hitting on them).
----------
Today, they came in (I guess they forgot about never being able to see a movie in this city again). One of the guys walks up to a middle-aged woman and says something like "Watchu lookin a' biotch, I'ma hard-core gangsta and I'll f*ck you up!". To which she replies "Hey, look at me, I'm a C-O-P, and if you so much as look at me again I will take my knife and kill you, 'dog'". 'Twas a great day.

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Jonathan Worthing
Master Film Handler

Posts: 384
From: Hereford, UK
Registered: Apr 2001

posted 05-28-2002 03:23 AM

As a technician some of the best quotes I get are

"I've been in the industry for 50 Years"

"Yes that switch is in the on position"

& my favourite one I've had from a manager when ask what projector he needs the spare part for, the reply was " The silver one in screen 1 "

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Peter Kerchinsky
Master Film Handler

Posts: 326
From: Seattle, WA, USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 05-28-2002 04:38 AM

OK guys, I think I have the best "moron customer" question...........
"What time does the midnight movie start?".
or when you post a sold out sign in the boxoffice, a nimrod comes up and asks:
"don't you have just one seat for me?"
or what "bargain shows daily" is about?
Goooood night!

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Peter Kerchinsky
Master Film Handler

Posts: 326
From: Seattle, WA, USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 05-28-2002 04:42 AM

OK guys, this has got to be the best one, right!
A customer calls or comes by the theatre and asks
"what time does the midnight movie start?"
When they said brains, some thought they said trains and got into the wrong line!!!!!
Good night all from Seattle and "have a nice day!"

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Peter Kerchinsky
Master Film Handler

Posts: 326
From: Seattle, WA, USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 05-28-2002 04:44 AM

Sorry about the repeat story. I was told it didn't work.
Damn computers!
Good morning Brad.........

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