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Author Topic: Pilot kicks the crying kid off the plane Phil Hill I love my cootie bug Posts: 7595 From: Hollywood, CA USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 10-16-2003 06:22 PM                  Yes Michael, once again you are 100% correct... it WAS a stupid question.. >>> Phil  |  IP: Logged Paul G. Thompson The Weenie Man Posts: 4718 From: Mount Vernon WA USA Registered: Nov 2000 posted 10-17-2003 01:45 AM                     They open inwards....to keep assholes from opening the doors in flight as well as possible door malfunctions because of differential pressure. The way the doors are designed, pressure from the inside of the aircraft would help seal the doors better than at ground level. Besides, why would you want to open the door at 35,000 feet? They were not designed for that. Even if you jumped out with a parachute strapped on your back, the chances of survival would still be a minus 10. In the military jets, they had to be blown open. What was known as the "Shit Chute" on the navy-issue A3 aircraft was opened in flight just that way if the crew had to abandon the aircraft. In addition to that, the "Shit Chute" was blown down in flight if the nose gear did not deploy proir to landing. The "Shit Chute" kept damage of the aircraft to a minimum under these circumstances. It served as a front wheel without a tire. An unauthorized blowing of the Shit Chute has been known to happen. Once that I remember, one of the members of an A3 crew developed a case of screaming shits. Since there were no potties on board the aircraft, the crew member used his helmet as a commode. Well, it stunk so bad they had to get rid of it. So the crewman opened the upper hatch in the companion way, and placed the helmet between that and the Shit Chute. After the upper hatch was secured, the pilot tried to blow the Shit Chute. It didn't open all the way. So they were stuck with the helmet in the aircraft. However, when an arrested landing was made on an aircraft carrier, the ajar Shit Chute deployed completely. You guessed it....a helmet full of shit went bouncing down the flight deck splattering shit all over everything in its path. And then, with the old SPADS, it was an airframe bolted around a 18-cylinder engine swinging a 16-foot propeller. Well, the pilot had to "go" and the only thing he had was a box lunch. So, he crapped in the box somehow. He opened the hatch to throw it out. It didn't work. The prop wash of that 2,000 HP engine blew it all back into the cockpit. The pilot was covered from head to toe in shit as well as the interior of the cockpit. When he landed on the carrier, he shut the engine down and got out. He ran to the edge of the flight deck and completely undressed and threw all his flight gear and clothing over the side while the flight deck officer was yelling over the bullhorn to get that shitty aircraft off his flight deck. Later, the pilot ordered the plane captain to clean up the cockpit. The plane captain refused. The pilot placed the plane captain on report for failure to obey a direct order from a commissioned officer. The plane captain went before Captain's Mast. The ship's captain listened to the story and dismissed the case. The ship's captain told the pilot, "You made the mess, you clean it up." End of story. Ah, the good 'ole navy memories.  |  IP: Logged Michael Schaffer "Where is the Boardwalk Hotel?" Posts: 4143 From: Boston, MA Registered: Apr 2002 posted 10-17-2003 02:44 AM                        I know the emergency doors above the wings open inwards (yes, as a compulsive manual reader I have actually read the security leaflet), but don`t the big doors on the front and back open outwards?  |  IP: Logged William Hooper Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1879 From: Mobile, AL USA Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-17-2003 03:55 AM                        Worrying about just the doors is considering minutiae of the possibilities in this dangerous situation. What if this ill-behaved child brought a cordless drill onboard? Or a SawzAll?  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-17-2003 10:21 AM                     quote: Paul Thompson: ...What was known as the "Shit Chute"... Paul, Does the "Shit Chute" deploy right after the "OH! FUCK!" light comes on?  |  IP: Logged Greg Mueller Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1687 From: Port Gamble, WA Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-17-2003 10:39 AM                        I was unfortunate enough to be on a plane flying from Dallas to Seattle, when a young mother decide to change the baby's diapers, but not in the rest room. Well that was one flying aluminum tube that really stunk. Guess she figure it was "natural" and all. Boy did she get a lot of comments from the passengers. Probably the same type of "starved for attention" woman that hauls her tits out in public to feed the kid.  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 10-17-2003 01:22 PM                        Yes, on practically all currently produced (in the west anyway) jet-powered airliners, the cabin doors initially open inward, then swing outward on double hinges. One type that doesn't is the Boeing 777 in which the door moves upward a few inches before it swings out (and translates forward). The 777's doors are still plug doors though, just like the others. There is a PBS documentary video available on the design and construction of the 777. In that video there is a section that showed the certification testing for the new doors. One of the tests was for the ability of an average-sized cabin attendant to open the door even when it is covered in ice up to some thickness (probably an inch or so). Some types used a vertically-opening pocket cabin door, but they were still plug doors that had to move inward before they moved upward. Airbus used this style on at least the A-300, and Lockheed used it on its Electra propjets and L-1011s. As for opening a plug door against the cabin differential pressure, here are some numbers: Door size (Boeing 777) 74 x 42" = 3108 sq in Typical airliner max diff pressure = 9 psi Force against the door = 3108 x 9 = 27,972 lbs So yeah, go ahead. Try to open it!* * A joke. Do not try this. Especially on my airplane. Use of deadly force authorized. You have been warned. [ 10-20-2003, 02:47 AM: Message edited by: Paul Mayer ]  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-17-2003 04:52 PM                     quote: Paul Mayer: Use of deadly force authorized. You have been warned. You must be the pilot who made THIS in-flight announcement, then? [ 10-17-2003, 07:57 PM: Message edited by: Randy Stankey ]  |  IP: Logged Paul G. Thompson The Weenie Man Posts: 4718 From: Mount Vernon WA USA Registered: Nov 2000 posted 10-17-2003 05:19 PM                     Randy, the pilot of the A-3 had to blow the chute manually when the "Oh, Fuck!!!!" light comes on.  |  IP: Logged Michael Schaffer "Where is the Boardwalk Hotel?" Posts: 4143 From: Boston, MA Registered: Apr 2002 posted 10-17-2003 05:51 PM                        The ending of the mp3 file is a little corrupted. Is that for comic effect or is the file messed up?  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-17-2003 06:05 PM                     No, it's not on purpose. Must have gotten krunched in the net transfer. Sorry. I'll see if I can re-upload it.  |  IP: Logged Leo Enticknap Film God Posts: 7474 From: Loma Linda, CA Registered: Jul 2000 posted 10-20-2003 01:51 AM                        Around a couple of years ago there was a string of incidents involving yobbish behaviour on charter flights between Britain and cheap holiday destinations in Spain and the Mediterranean. These usually involved drunk teens and 20-somethings. The first time it happened the perpetrators were given a warning by police, but nothing more. Then the charter airlines got tough, and started making emergency landings to kick them off, often in countries where they knew the legal system doesn't have any time for loony left snivel libertarians who claim that we should put up with these hooligans becuase they've been socially deprived or something like that. Within a few months the problems had stopped.  |  IP: Logged Dave Williams Wet nipple scene Posts: 1836 From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA Registered: Jan 2000 posted 10-21-2003 10:02 PM                        I have TWICE physically disciplined my children and I am glad I did it, even though it made me feel bad and still does... Incident number one.... My oldest son who is now 13, when he was 4 he came up to me, grabbed his wiener and said... "I'm gonna pee on you". He got the biggest face slap you could give without it bieng child abuse. He no longer behaves with such insolence... Incident number two... My youngest daughter, now 8, when she was four... she was up in the projection booth making rabbit ears in the projection window during a showing of the Matrix. I grabbed her by the arm, spanked her about as hard as I could about five times, then admonished her in front of a very pissed off crowd. Of course the crowd was like all sad for her now, and then I told them off for trying to back down to a child! I didn't fall for the puppy dog eyes, and now she doesn't act like a little brat! Well she does, and still gets in trouble for it, and not some wussy trouble, its like taking her stuff and grounding her and then slapping her with it. Parents have got to be the bad guy, otherwise these little brats will be facing the police as the bad guy. Gotta keep em in line. Dave  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-21-2003 10:18 PM                     There is a difference between "paddling" a kid and "hitting" a kid. There is NOTHING wrong with paddling. There is almost NEVER a time when hitting a kid is good. Let me tell you from experience! There is nothing like the sound of leather clearing belt loops... Thwip! - Thwip! - THWIP!... to make a kid fall into line!  |  IP: Logged David Favel Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 764 From: Ashburton, New Zealand Registered: Feb 2002 posted 10-22-2003 12:12 AM                     Quote Probably the same type of "starved for attention" woman that hauls her tits out in public to feed the kid. You're kidding?  |  IP: Logged

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