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Author Topic: Ethnic Jokes Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 08-07-2012 03:55 PM                        Rated G... A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell." "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? "What . . . You coming empty handed?"  |  IP: Logged Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 08-09-2012 12:50 PM                        Rated PG... An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside. "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up.'"  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 04-15-2016 01:32 AM                 It has been 1344 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged John Wilson Film God Posts: 5438 From: Sydney, Australia. Registered: Dec 1999 posted 04-15-2016 01:32 AM                     An Indian man walks into a New York City bank and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India for some business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The loan officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man hands over the keys and documents to his new Ferrari car parked on the street in front of the bank. The loan officer consults the president of the bank produces all the required items and everything checks out to be ok. The loan officer agrees to except the car for security for the loan. The bank president and the loan officer had a good laugh at the Indian for keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and taking only $5000 as a loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the banks underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later the Indian man returns and pays the $5000 and the interest which comes to $15.41. Seeing this the loan officer says, sir we are very happy to have your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found out that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzled us was, why would you bother to borrow $5000? The Indian man replies "where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return."  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 12-09-2017 01:09 PM                 It has been 603 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 12-09-2017 01:09 PM                        Rated G..... A hooded robber burst into a South Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave South Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak. Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from South Dakota tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."  |  IP: Logged

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