Two gay guys are in a bathroom using the urinals.

The one guy looks at the other guy's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it.

He turns to the guy and says, "I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis."

How do you know when you have gone into a REAL lesbian bar?

How to Insult a Mexican

A BIG Mexican in a pub was walking back to his table with three handles of beer in each hand when this little wimpy guy stopped him and said, "I would really love to give you a blow job."

The Mexican looked at him for a bit, walked back to his table, put the handles down, and then went back and beat the living daylights out of the guy.

When he went back to his table, his friend said, "Jeez Paco, why you do that?"

Q: What kind of license do lesbians need?

There was a guy, who was the most buff guy, and his girlfriend were at a bar and she just dumped him. So she left the bar leaving him upset and alone.

About ten minutes later when he was sipping his beer, a gay guy came up and sat next to him and said, ''Hey guy, how's it hangin'?''

The buff guy looked up at him and yelled, ''GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! MY GIRLFRIEND JUST LEFT ME AND I DON'T NEED SOME HOMOSEXUAL SCREWIN' AROUND WITH MY MIND!!!''

The gay man looked suprised and said, ''Hey I was just wondering if you wanted to play tabletop football?''

The buff guy answered with another question, '' How do you play that?''

The gay guy replied, '' It's rather simple, we each get slid a beer, one at a time we chug it, and if you belch you get a point, and if you fart, you get the extra point. Ready...'' He then said to the bartender, ''Slide me one!''

The gay guy started chugging the beer and then belched, then started trying to fart as hard as he could and he clenched his teeth when finally a little weenie fart popped out. '' Extra point!!''

The buff guy just stared at him and said, ''Slide me a beer!''

The bartender slid him one and he chugged it. He then belched a huge belch, then he started trying to fart, when the gay guy ran up to him pulled his pants down, whipped out his dick and shoved it up the buff guy's ass and yelled,

Did you hear about the new shoe Nike are making for lesbians.

Q: What kind of license do lesbians need?

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What do you call a open can of tuna fish in a Lesbian's apartment ???

Fearful of AIDS and fed up with the gay life-style, a homosexual went to a psychiatrist for treatment.

The psychiatrist said his problems were so deep rooted, it would require extensive analysis and many months of treatment before he would be cured.

After almost two years of treatment the psychiatrist said, "You've made remarkable progress. As a matter of fact it's my opinion that you are now ready to take your rightful place as a typical member of society."

"Oh, doctor," cried the patient, " your good news has made me so happy I could kiss you!"

"No, no," said the psychiatrist, "don't do that... in fact, I really shouldn't be laying here on the couch with you."

Short Quips:

Did you hear about that big fire at the local gay & lesbian home early this morning? The gays got out first, because they had their shit packed the night before.

What did the gay man say in the Chinese restaurant?
"May I please have the cream of sum yung gai?"

Q. What is another word for lesbian? A. Vagi-terian

A cowboy bursts into a bar and says to the bartender, ''I am so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a bull's nuts.''

A gay man in the corner of the bar suddenly yells out ''Mooooooooo!''

Two gay men decide to have a baby.

They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.

When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.

''Isn't it wonderful?'' Joe exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''

''He's happy now," says the nurse.

Ken and Bruce were very bored and very gay.

Suddenly Bruce got a bright idea: "Ken, count to 100 and I'll go hide.

If you can find me, I'll give you the best blow job you've ever had!"

Ken asked, "But what if I can't find you?"

Two gay guys are playing golf and a ball comes flying over the hill.

Dirk says to Bruce, "The next time a ball comes over the hill, lie down and pretend that it hit you. Then we can sue!"

When another ball comes over the hill, Bruce drops to the ground and contorts his body.

Dirk approaches the golfer and says, "He's very badly hurt. You can expect a lawsuit!"

"Suck my dick," the golfer replies.