A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."

His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay-doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"

How can you tell if two lesbians are twins?

A horny man is walking through a park, and notices a wino passed out on a park bench. Temptation overcomes him, and he decides to 'have his way' with the wino. After he finishes, he feels a little guilty, and decides to slip a $5.00 bill into the pocket of the wino's pants.

The next morning, the wino wakes up and finds the money in his pocket. He immediately goes to the nearest liquor store and tells the clerk, "Give me $5.00 worth of the cheapest wine you've got!" The clerk returns with a gallon jug of wine, the wino pays for it and leaves. He then spends the rest of the day back at his bench drinking.

That night after the wino passed out, the horny man walked by again, and repeated the cycle from the night before. The next morning, the wino found the money in his pocket again, and again went to the same liquor store and bought another gallon jug of cheap wine, then spent the rest of the day drinking on his bench.

This whole process continued nightly for over a week. One night, after finishing his business with the wino, the man felt especially guilty about his behavior, and slipped a $20.00 bill into the wino's pocket.

The next morning, after finding the money, the wino proceeds to his favorite liquor store and requests $20.00 of their finest wine.

The clerk obliged and said, "Don't you usually come in here and get $5.00 of our cheapest wine?"

Have you heard about the new cereal called queereeoo's?

Two gay guys are standing looking out at the river, watching the boats go by.

"Say, Larry," says Pete,"what kind of boat is that one, the one with all the cars on it?"

"You silly," answers Larry. "That's a ferry boat."

An evangelist was delivering a flaming sermon on vice that shook the rafters of the mission.

"Listen to me, all you cigarette suckers," he thundered, "all you pipe suckers, all you bottle suckers -"

Two gay men were in a public restroom using the urinals.

One glanced at the other's "member" and saw a stop-smoking patch on it.

"Hey, does that patch really work?"

A sweet young man walked into an army recruiting office. After answering numerous questions, he was finally asked if he was a homosexual. The guy readily admitted that he was.

"Gay, huh?" the brawny recruiter growled. "Do you think you could kill a man?"

A gay man hitchhiking from Florida to California, stops in a Texas bar to grab a quick refresher. He quietly asks the bartender for a cold beer.

"Sorry buddy, we don't serve your type here. Move it on!" yells the bartender.

The gay man begs and pleads with the bartender. "Please, sir! I've been traveling for a long time and just need to wet my whistle and I'll be on my way."

The bartender finally gives in. "OK, but you take your beer and sit in that corner over there and leave the other patrons alone!"

Shortly after, one of the biggest, burliest, Texans walks into the bar. "BARTENDER! Give me a cold beer! I'm so thirsty, I could lick the sweat off a brahma bull's ballS!!!"

As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of
him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road. He went inside a building marked "Registration" and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk.

"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.

"It's quite simple," said the receptionist. "This is anudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."

"Cool," said the guy, "count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: "Beware of Gays."

Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them.

She's 5'10", 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!!

Three gay men died and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened tobe at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.

The first man said, "My Donny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."

The second man said, "My Vinny was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatterhis ashes in our favorite lake."

Two Teamsters are working on a dock unloading some cargo.

"Hey," says the first one, "you hear there's a homo working here now?"

"No," says the other guy, "do you know who the fuck he is?"

"Oh I can't tell you that"

"Aw, c'mon!"

A whole bunch of drunks were talking about whose penis was the biggest. They started arguing and got in a big fight. Then the bartender yelled, "Hold on, I'll settle this."

He told them to lay their pricks on the bar and he would measure to see whose was the biggest.

A gay guy walked in and the bartender asked what he wanted.

There are four gay guys in a hot tub.

A condom floats up in the middle.

What do they say?