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Author Topic: Gay's Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-11-2005 02:03 PM                        Rated X The Gay Genie A gay man was walking along the beach at Fire Island when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold, out popped a gay genie. The Genie said, "Hey Girl, wassup?" The amazed man asked if he got three wishes. "Nope, just one...due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages, third-world countries, my new pumps pinching my big toes, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...what'll it be? The complete set of Tyson Cane videos? A copy of the Marilyn Monroe Happy Birthday Mr. President sequined dress in your size with matching shoes?" The man shook his head 'no', and didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other." The Genie looked at the map and shrieked, "Miss Thaaaaaang, I don't think so, not in this lifetime!! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish." The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man, you know, one that's considerate and fun, warm and affectionate, gorgeous, is well endowed, only wants sex from me, doesn't do drugs or drink too much, has a great job with a good income, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and tells me I always look fabulous, and is great in bed. That's what I wish for... the perfect guy to have as my lover." The Genie let out a long sigh, clutched his hand to his heart and said, "Oh Miss Thang... let me see that map again."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-15-2005 01:57 PM                        Rated X How do you know when you are in a gay church? Only half the congregation is kneeling!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-11-2005 01:20 PM                        Rated G Uncle Bubba Question:How can you tell when you're in a lesbian bar? Answer:Even the pool tables don't have balls.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-18-2005 09:57 AM                        Rated G Homer Simpson started a same-sex marriage service recently. "Queerly beloved, we are gathered here today....."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-22-2005 12:02 PM                        Rated R Quirk Wire Services Late Night Edition, San Francisco, California -- Police were called to the scene where Mr. Frank, an irrigation canal repairman was found beaten to death in a back alley. Sam had been dispatched to repair a leaking barrier which was supposed to be keeping water out of a lower-than-sea-level apartment complex near 3-Com Candlestick park. Eyewitnesses described how he had unknowingly entered a women's gay bar and asked the patrons where he might find the crack in the dike.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-04-2005 09:57 AM                        Ratedd G Monika "Hey, Judi, how'd your ski weekend go?" Monika asked. "The good news was I shared the cabin with these two drop dead gorgeous men!" "Oooo! That must have been wonderful! What's the bad news?" "They were engaged to each other."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-23-2005 10:45 AM                        Rated PG Michele I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below: 6:00AM - Gym and Tanning Bed 8:00AM - Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites) 9:00AM - Hair Appointment 10:00AM - Shopping 12:00PM - Brunch (Salmon Benedict, roasted potatoes, mimosa) 2:00PM - (1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State, and Local Governments, as well as all other national governments; (2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle; (3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages; (4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels; (5) Establish planetary chain of "homo-breeding gulags", where overmedicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially-impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership; (6) Bulldoze all houses of worship; and, (7) Secure total control of the Internet and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers. 2:30PM - Get beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles caused by the stress of world conquest. 3:30PM - Protein Shake 4:00PM - Tea Dance 6:00PM - Light Dinner (soup, salad, and skinless chicken breast, with a crisp Chardonnay) 8:00PM - Theatre 11:00PM - Bed du Jour  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 07-29-2005 03:19 PM                        Rated G San Francisco has become the first city ever to pay for civil employees' sex change operation. The restrooms at San Francisco's City Hall are now labeled, "Men," "Women," "Pending."  |  IP: Logged Dieter Depypere Master Film Handler Posts: 343 From: Deutsch-Wagram, Lower Austria, Austria Registered: May 2005 posted 08-10-2005 08:07 AM                     Rated PG-13 A gay was at a party. Suddenly his ass itched. He was a little bit embarrassed and leaned against the wall... This didn't help and he just didn't want to scratch. Thus, he wiped a little bit over his ass. At this moment he got an erection. He suddenly screamed out "DON'T WORRY IT'S JUST ME!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 08-13-2005 06:28 AM                        Rated XXX Phillip A guy phones his boss one morning... "Hey boss, is it OK if I don't come in to work today? I'm pretty sick." The boss suspects he's faking it, so he asks: "Exactly how sick are you?" The guy replies: "Well, I'm in bed with your dad."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 08-16-2005 04:36 PM                        Rated XXX Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the male gorilla had a massive erection.This fascinated the gay men so much they couldn't take their eyes off of it. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer and he reached into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the cage and raped him for six hours nonstop.When he was done,the gorilla threw the man back out of the cage. An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. The next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asked, "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" he shouted, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written..."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 08-22-2005 02:04 PM                        Rated X Did you hear about the gay spiders that kept looking at each other's fly?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-13-2005 02:45 PM                        Rated G Gorilla LOVE Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the male gorilla had a massive erection. This fascinated the gay men so much they couldn't take their eyes off of it. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer and he reached into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the cage and raped him for six hours nonstop. When he was done, the gorilla threw the man back out of the cage. An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. The next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asked, "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" he shouted, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written..."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-08-2005 10:19 AM                        Rated G What does a deaf homosexual get? . . . . . Hearing aids.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-06-2005 04:58 PM                        Rated G Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5' 9", 120 lbs, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!! The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, "It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!!"  |  IP: Logged

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