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This topic comprises 7 pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
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Author
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Topic: Gay's
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 09-23-2002 05:33 PM
Rated PG  Big John
A blond man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order a drink. The blonde guy calls the bartender over and says "whatever she's drinking, give her another one and tell her it's on me."
The bartender replies "I don't think you want to do that." "What do you mean?" yells the blonde guy, "Send her the drink!" "O.K." the bartender replies, "but I don't think it is a good idea." "And why not?" asks the blonde guy. The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says "because she's a lesbian." "I don't care, send her the drink." says the blonde guy. So after the lady gets her drink the blonde guy very casually strolls down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her and says, "So, what part of Lesbia are you from?" 
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-09-2002 10:45 AM
Rated PG ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people,
so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up bitch." ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
[ 01-22-2003, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: Bob Maar ]
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-27-2002 09:01 AM
Rated PG
Cajun Funeral
One day, while fishing under the I-10 bridge in The Atchafalaya Basin,Boudreaux made his confession."We all been friend for tirty years and been tru a lot.I never told ya'll dis before because I didn't wanna ruin our friendship, but Im gay.
Fontenot looked over at Thibodueaux and said, "We kinda figured dat out a while back, but wadn't gonna say nutin' because we didn't wanna embarrass you.
Boudreaux thanked them for thier understanding and continued: "Da reason I'm tollin' ya'll dis is cause I got AIDS and I got six munts to live.Ya'll da only family I got lef and I want ya'll to promise me dat ya'll won't let dem bary me. I'm scared of dem caskets and I wanna be cremated.""Den, I want ya'll to trow my ashes from dat bridge up over dis here water, where we've spent! so much time togeder."
Fontenot and Thibodeaux wiped back a few tears, then agreed to do what their friend had asked. Sho'nough, six munts later Boudreaux died, and they were standing on
the bridge with the ashes.Fontenot was about to trow them out when Thibodeaux stopped him:
"Wait, you gotta say somtin," he said."I donno what to say.I never was much about goin' to church, "Fontenot admitted. Thibodeaux, he scratch his head."Just say somtin'...anyting.Make it ryhme."
Fontenot him, he tought about it a while and started trowin' dem ashes out over da water and said: "Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust, If you liked pussy,You'd be here wit us!!!
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 02-08-2003 10:07 AM
Rated R
An Army captain welcomes a new recruit to a remote outpost in
India."Don't worry about the wretched appearance of camp," the captain says."We manage to have a wonderful time.Today's
Wednesday,which is our gambling night.We'll have enough poker,
roulette,blackjack and slot machines for even the most hard-core
gambler."
"I'm sorry, sir,"the recruit replies."But five years ago, I lost everything I owned during a massive gambling binge. Since then I haven't been able to come within five feet of any game of chance."
"That's all right," the captain says. "Thursday night is our
whoring night,where we bring in three or four hookers for
every man,and then we all have a gigantic orgy."
"I'm afraid I won't be able to participate in that either,sir," the recruit admits."I've got too much respect for my mother and sister to ever treat women in that manner."
"I see," the captain says."I don't mean to be blunt,but you
don't happen to be a homosexual,do you?"
"Absolutely not!" the recruit cries.
"Pity," the captain says. "I guess you won't enjoy Friday night
either."
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