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Author Topic: Political Humor
Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 11-02-2008 06:41 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Jokester


Messages Left On Sarah Palin's Answering Machine


"Hi, it's John McCain; I had to go to bed. How'd it go?"



"Hi, Katie Couric here. Have you thought of a Supreme Court case yet?"



"Hi, it's Bill Clinton. Let me know when Todd's out of town"



"My name is Joseph Sixpack — knock it off"



"Hi, Katie Couric again — think of any newspapers yet?"



"Buy the Late Show Fun Facts book. It's a bridge to hilarity"



"John McCain again; could you pick up my prescriptions?"



"Senator Larry Craig here — do you have Joe Biden's phone number?"



"McCain again; do you remember where I parked the Straight Talk Express?"



"It's President Bush. If you're at the debate, who's watchin' Russia?"

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 11-02-2008 10:41 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] IZ MAN

What do you get if you cross Sarah Palin with the weather?

A natural disaster!!!! [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 11-11-2008 03:50 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Marty

During the Civil War, General Ulysses S. Grant wasn't impressed by a fellow officer, even though it was pointed out that the other man had served in ten campaigns.

So has that mule over there, Grant countered, but he's still a jackass, isn't he? [Eek!]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 11-11-2008 03:58 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G the little woman [Eek!]

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money fro m you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.

'Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress. [Big Grin]

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