Point in Question

Dirty Johnny is playing with Loose Lisa, and he pulls down his pants.

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "I don't know, but my old man has the same thing. I think I'll ask him!"

That night, Johnny waits for his father to come out of the shower.

He says, "All right, Pop! What's that?"

Johnny's father says, "Son, it's a penis. In fact, it's a perfect penis!"

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LITTLE JOHNNY

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."

So johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

- First, johnny, I want you to take off my blouse... So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

- Ok, now take off my skirt... and he takes off her skirt.

- Now take off my bra... which he does.

-And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.

LITTLE JOHNNY AND HIS THEOLOGY

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season's emphasis on His birth.

He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.

So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.

He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

Dirty Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table, and his parents are fighting.

His mother says, "Fred!! We've got to pay the mortgage!!"

His father answers, "But we haven't got the money, Ethel!!"

"But we've got to pay the mortgage!!"

"We haven't got the money!!"

The next day, a cop sees Johnny. He's got a stick with a bundle at the end over his shoulder.

The cop says, "What do you think you're doing?"

Johnny answers, "I'm runnin' away from home!"

The cop says, "Why, son?"

Johnny says, "Are you kidding? Last night, at dinner, my folks was arguin' about money. They was arguin' hot and heavy. Later on, when I walked past their bedroom, I heard my father say, "I'm pullin' out!!" My mother said, "I'm comin' too!!" Well,

I wasn't gonna stay and get stuck with the mortgage!!!"

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 9th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny paints a sign:

WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A DIME

He then tells his buddy Roy to get his fire-wagon and both sit under a shade tree in Little Johnny's front yard, waiting for business.

Kathy, across the street, is not to be outdone: Her sign says

WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A NICKEL

She tells Nellie to get her fire-wagon and both sit in Kathy's yard.

Johnny's pissed. How DARE that GIRL? Then, a flash and Johnny hauls Roy across the street. "Let's get some laughs."

Johnny asked Kathy, "Say, you move ANYTHING?"

"Sure, Johnny. Give me a nickle and I'll prove it to you."
Johnny hands her a nickle.

Kathy then says, "So, what do you want moved, Johnny?"

"Ha! I want you to move my BOWELS!"

One day a door-to-door salesman knocked on a door.

Little Johnny answered the door and the salesman asked if his mother was home
.
Little Johnny said "No, she is at the whore house."

The bright salesman asked if she was a prostitute, and the little boy replied, "No, she is a substitute. She only works Wednesdays and Fridays during the rush."

The salesman said, "Well I'll be a son-of-a-bitch."

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.

"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"

"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."

"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day"

"Does anyone know another word."

"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.

Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

"OK Mike, what is your word."

"Saturday." says Mike.

"Great, that has three syllables..."

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."

Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."

"Mummy,Mummy", called Little Johnny one day, "do you know the beautiful vase in the dining room that's been handed down from generation to generation ?"

"Yes", said his mother. "What about it?"

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johnny?"

"My goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, "and I have just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "Oh Johnny, I am so sorry to hear that.

But that's an awfully big hole for a little goldfish, isn't it?"

Johnny stomped his foot on the fresh earth making the grave flat and

Little Johnny was in class, and the teacher wanted words for the letters she called out.
Rated G

She called out A and a little girl said apple.

She got all the way to W, She thought Johnny didn't know a bad word for it, so she called on him.

He said, "womb." The teacher said like the one a woman carries a baby in?

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Johnny comes walking home from school one day and his mom asks him why he's so late getting home. He says that there were some construction workers building a house down the street and he stopped to watch. Mom, pretending to be interested, asks him what he saw. Johnny says, "I learned how to put up a garage door." "How do you do that?", asks the mother. He replies, "Easy! First you put the bastard up but if it ain't right you gotta' shim it up a cunt hair and if it still don't work you gotta tear the fucking thing down and start all over." Horrified, the mother sends him up to his bedroom to wait for his father to come home.

When Father gets home he goes upstairs to talk to Johnny. "What's this your mother tells me about you hanging out at a construction site?", he inquires sternly. Johnny replies, "I told Mom how to put up a garage door." "And, HOW do you do that?", asks Dad. Again, Johnny answers, "Easy! First you put the bastard up but if it ain't right you gotta' shim it up a cunt hair and if it still don't work you gotta tear the fucking thing down and start all over." Dad burst out in anger, "That's enough out of you, young man! Go outside and get me a switch!"

It's a rainy day and Johnny is playing inside. He's in the living room, playing with his toy trains while Mom is making dinner in the kitchen. She's enjoying the sounds of her son having fun which eminate from the other room: "Ding! Ding! Wooooo! Wooooo!... All Aboard! The train is leaving the station!... Wooooo! Wooooo!... Hurry up lady! You're gonna' miss the fucking train!"