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Author Topic: Canadians eh!
Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 04-19-2008 09:00 AM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile] Dave in Aurora, Ont.

The Canadian Solution to Save Gasoline


Harper wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use......

The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 3 million illegal immigrants!

That would be 3 million less people using our gasoline. The price of gasoline would come down.....

Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the Border....
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Afghanistan ....

Tell him if he wants to come to Canada then he must serve a tour in the military....Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it.....

After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country.....He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident.... .

This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. .....

If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo..... Problem solved.....

If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends. .........

I just did.......... [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 06-19-2008 06:00 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated G [Smile]

Canadian Twins Vacation


Siamese twins walk into a pub in Ontario and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the innkeeper, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two Molson Canadian beers, draft please"

The innkeeper, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

"Been on holiday yet, boys?"

"Off to England next month," says Joe. "We go to England every year and hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?"

Jim agrees.

"Ah, England," says the innkeeper. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says Joe. "Hamburgers & Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're arrogant and rude.”

"So why keep going to England?" asks the innkeeper.

Joe replies, "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive." [Big Grin]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)


Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001


 - posted 10-27-2008 08:28 PM      Profile for Bob Maar   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Maar   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Rated XX [Smile] Dave in Aurora, Ont.

How tough are Canadians?


The scene is set


- a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering,stars twinkling in the dark sky.



Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire,


one from Canada, one from Seth Efrika and one from New Zulland.


Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous.


The night of tales begins...


Kiven the Kiwi says, 'I must be the meanest, toughest, heng glider there es. Why, jist the other day I linded in a field and scared a crocodeale, who came out of the swamp and ate sux min who were standen close by. I grebbed the crocodeale and wristled him to du ground and killed em with my beer hends'


Hansie from Seth Efrika who typically can't stand to be bettered said, 'Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it's head off ind then sucked the poison from it's body down in one gulp. End I'm still here today'

Colin the Canadian remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis. [Eek!]

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