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Author Topic: Men vs, Women & vice-versa Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-23-2006 08:42 AM                        Rated G Gerry During an open-mike comedy show featuring stand-up kid comedians, ten-year-old Sam said, "I asked my dad if he thought electing a woman president of the United States would be a good idea because it might make men more submissive to women. He answered, 'I don't know. I'll have to ask your mother.'"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-26-2006 05:40 AM                        Rated PG Diana When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-26-2006 01:16 PM                        Rated G You know, new lovers really should have a minimum isolation period of say, six months, so as not to nauseate absolutely everyone they meet.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-03-2006 03:08 PM                        Rated G Why do men's hearts beat quicker, go weak in the knee's, get dry throats and think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing? . . . . . . .BECAUSE SHE SMELLS JUST LIKE A NEW TRUCK!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-05-2006 10:11 AM                        Rated G Jill's fine figure had been poured into a beautiful form-fitting gown and she made a point of calling her date's attention to it over and over again throughout the evening. Finally, over a nightcap in his apartment he said, "You've been talking about that dress all evening long. You called my attention to it first when we met for cocktails, mentioned it again at dinner, and still again at the theatre. Now that we're here alone in my apartment, what do you say we drop the subject?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-05-2006 12:44 PM                        Rated G Elaine When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Women just go on cooking.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-08-2006 08:28 AM                        Rated G Elaine A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-08-2006 09:13 AM                        Rated G Elaine A study shows men are hit by lightning four times as often as women, usually after saying, 'I'll call you.'  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-09-2006 12:38 PM                        Rated G Jack Mary:John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think Peter? Peter:A bit of both. I think you are pretty ugly.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-09-2006 12:42 PM                        Rated G Jack Man: You remind me of the sea. Woman:Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? Man: NO, because you make me sick.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-18-2006 09:56 AM                        Rated G Bruce "Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" asked Becky. "Mmm hmm." replied Dave. "Do you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?" "Mmm hmm." "Do you think my lips are like rose petals?" "Mmm hmm." "Oh Dave," gushed Becky, "you say the most beautiful things!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-18-2006 03:07 PM                        Rated G It's all in the punctuation: An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing." The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-19-2006 01:10 PM                        Rated G Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me, darling?" he asked. Lisa smiled coyly and said, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink." Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a deal, on one condition." "What is that?" Lisa asked. "You'll have to clean the cage," Kurt replied.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-19-2006 01:37 PM                        Rated G Ralph I'm nostalgic. I miss childhood. I miss first grade. I miss thinking girls are gross. Do you know how much money I could save if I still thought girls were gross?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-21-2006 12:16 PM                        Rated G Men seem to flip around the television more than women. Men get that remote control in their hands, they don't even know what the hell they're not watching. We just keep going, "Rerun...that's stupid, he's stupid...go,go,go!" "What are you watching?" "I don't care, I gotta keep going." "I think that's a documentary about your father." "Don't care...what else is on?" Women don't do this. Women will stop and go, "Let's see what the show is before I change the channel. Maybe we can nurture it, work with it, help it grow into something." Men don't do that. Because women nest, and men hunt. That's why we watch TV differently.  |  IP: Logged

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