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Since both spouses worked, they had difficulty coordinating their schedules. They deceided that the husband would leave on Friday and the wife would join him on Saturday. The husband made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting into his room, he opened his laptop to send his wife , back in Minneapolis and e-mail. However, he left off one letter in his wife's e-mail address and sent the e-mail off without realizing his error.

In another part of the country, a widow had just returned from the funeral of her husband, a Methodist pastor of many years, who had been called to glory a few days earlier. She deceided to check her e-mail as she was expecting to hear from her husbands relatives and friends. Upon reading the first e-mail she let out a loud scream, she fainted and fell on the floor. The woman's son raced into the room and found his mother on the floor. He glanced up at the computer screen and saw the following e-mail message.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded. "What took you so long?"

Never raise your hands to your kids, It leaves your groin unprotected.

I'm in shape, round is a shape.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Do illerate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you. But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are ok, then it must be you.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you have a T shirt with bloodstains all over it, laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they are such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on my wall.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses, now I will have to kill you too.

Future historians will have to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, The Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Book Store.

This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house and pick my things up.

Oh! please pack my new blue silk pajamas.

The wife think's this sounds a little fishy but being a good wifeshe does exactly as her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye,, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But, Why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajama's like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

Yhe grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.

The little boy runs into the house and comes back with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back in the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy a five dollar bill, grabs the hairspray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know, that's from your grandma."

Do not cheat by scrolling down first!
It takes only 30 seconds....work this out as you read..Make sure you don't read the bottom until you have worked it out.

1. First of all, pick a numer of times a week you would like to have Chocolate. Try for more than once but less than 10.

Multiply that number by 2 (Just to be bold)

add 5

Multiply by 50 I'll wait while you get calculator..........

If you have already had your birthday this year add 1751. If you haven't add 1750.

Now subtract the four digit year you were born.

You should have a three digit number,

The first digit is your original number.
(remember how many times you wanted to have chocolate each week.)

The second two digits are your age, right?

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The reason your math trick works is because multiplying the number of days per week you want chocolate (let's call this number d) by 2, adding 5 to it, then multiplying by 50 amounts to calculating (100d + 250). That puts the number d in the hundreds place with 250 added to the number. Then when you add 1750 (or 1951), you're just ending up with 100d + 2000 (or 100d + 2001). Subtracting your birth year gives your age with 100d added. This will not work if someone is over 99 years old because the trick takes advantage of that fact. I love these types of tricks because I love figuring out how they work algebraically.

Here is another one. Think of your favorite three-digit number. If you like it so much, write it down again, giving you a 6-digit number. Hmmm. I'll bet that this number is evenly divisible by 7. Try it! It worked! I wonder if the result is divisible evenly by 11? Try it! It divided evenly! Finally, I have a sneaky feeling that the last result is divisible by 13. Try it! It is. Hmmm.. I'll bet you have the number you started with.

The explanation for this one is very simple. Do you know why it works?

Evans A Criswell

Now, Bob, if you croak, you'll know why it works!

Bob, you've been one of the best sources for jokes that I've encountered in a long time. Keep up the good work. This thread will soon hold a record (if it doesn't already) for number of postings and number of pages!

Evans