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Topic: Worst movie ever made

James R. Hammonds, Jr
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 931
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-01-2001 12:29 AM

first of all, BLAIR WITCH 1 was cool.
second of all, HOUSE OF YES wasnt that bad.
parker posey was funny and you cant beat the description of the costume party costumes.

but i cant really say what the worst movie is.
i do recall hulk hogan being in a movie called SANTA WITH MUSCLES though.

but i never saw it.

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Rachel Carter
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 248
From: Gloucester, Massachusetts, USA
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-01-2001 03:07 AM

First of all....I LOVED FINAL DESTINATION!!! That is one of my favorite movies :P

My "Bad" list:
*Pokemon 2 (let me first explain that I don't mind pokemon, this movie was just horrible)
*Battlefield Earth
*The Wedding Planner
*Snake Eyes
*Autumn in New York

Its really hard to remember movies that you hated....I'm sure I'll think up more.

Gracia, you didn't like Grease???? What's wrong with you

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"Blood is thicker then blondes" - From the movie, Save the last Dance.

FUNNY!!!!!

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Greg Mueller
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1687
From: Port Gamble, WA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 02-01-2001 08:21 AM

"Fire Maidens from Outer Space"
Mid 50s film

Does it count that it was so bad that it was good?

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Greg Mueller
Amateur Astronomer, Machinist, Filmnut

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Michael Barry
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 584
From: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Registered: Nov 1999

posted 02-05-2001 10:25 AM

Worst movie? Hard call - there are SO many! I'm not sure I would even attempt this without breaking it down slightly into 1) So bad it's good/funny/entertaining and 2) so bad it's painful to watch more than the opening credits.

The former category can be a huge source of entertainment! I think that the Ed Wood films certainly belong here. Plan 9 IS a fun movie without question, so it's not 'bad' as such.

A few come to mind that are hysterically funnny:

Squirm - an early 80's horror effort about a power line which falls during a storm and mutates worms...I screened a 16MM print of this to some friends a couple of years back. We laughed so hard and so frequently that for humour value alone it outstrips many 'straight' comedies. Logic, story and continuity errors that have to be seen to be believed.

How To Make an American Quilt - I can't believe that anyone is capable of watching this without convulsing with laughter. What were they thinking? Great entertainment for all the wrong reasons. I screened this for the owner of a theatre on his 50th birthday and he was pretty much howling with laughter throughout.

Wide Sargasso Sea - Full of totally inane dialogue and definitely from the Zalman King school of directing. It's set in Jamaica and everytime one of the English settlers gets slightly challenged in a conversation, his standard comeback is, 'But this is not England...I think I'll go for a walk in the garden!'. This piece of dialogue recurs about 5 times throughout the film. By the time he's about to say it the second and third time you're already doubled over on the floor. Makes an excellent double with the aforementioned 'Quilt'.

On the 'movies that are so bad they're BAD' front, it's hard to go past, 'Bloodsucking Freaks' (aka 'The Incredible Torture Show'). This is reprehensible, offensive AND boring. My hatred for this film is almost without peer. I could mention films by Herschell Gordon Lewis but I suspect even these have some camp value and could fit into the first category as well. They were popular as Z-grade drive-in fare in the 1960's.

And films that I dislike immensely that are VASTLY overrated?

The Piano, without question. I can't stand this! The most torturous 7 reels I ever sat through.

Before I close this entry I should make special mention of Australian films, as they are such a rich source of untapped schlock. They are uniquely articulate in bringing 'awful' to a whole new level. I'm referring, of course, not to the ones that don't make it overseas, but to the ones that don't even make it on screens HERE. Trust me, you don't want to know!

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99

posted 02-05-2001 05:56 PM

"What Do You Say to a Naked Lady" was pretty bad.

It was a '60s (or maybe '70s) Candid Camera big-screener that foreshadowed "too hot for TV" videos. They basically did the Candid Camera routine, but with foul language and nudity. It was rated X. When I was working at my theatre (before buying it) the owners actually brought this film in just because it was one of their favorites!! It had some legit scenes, mixed in with others that were supposed to be "people being themselves" but were clearly staged...you could tell by the bad acting.

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Heyward Garner
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 101
From: Winston-Salem, NC, USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 02-11-2001 11:57 PM

Death Race 2000!!! Death Race 2000!!!
Anyone else seen this? Stalone's first lead role... And (pardon mis frances) but he blew ASS!

Leo Enticknap
Film God

Posts: 7474
From: Loma Linda, CA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-15-2001 06:16 PM

(i) On the masking/matte issue: I would much rather have prints with 1.33 masked into a 1.85 matte, a la 'Blair Witch' and 'Into the Arms of Strangers' than have cinemas show a proper 1.33 frame cropped to 1.85.

As for the worst films ever made...

'Ma Vie Sexuelle'
'Dracula A.D. 1972'
'Photographing Fairies'
'The Ice Storm' (known as The Shite Storm in our projection box)
'Death Line'
'Days of Thunder'
'Mighty Aphrodite'

But THE worst film of all time for me has to be 'Nelson - The Life Story of Britain's Immortal Naval Hero' (Immortal? Didn't they realise that he got shot?!). It's a silent from 1917 I had to watch as a student. The idea was WWI propaganda (the message being that we kicked their butts at Trafalgar, ergo we can do it again) and it's got every gruesome cliche you can think of. You just KNOW that the intertitle 'Kiss me Hardy' will eventually flash up, and sure enough... Another highlight is Nelson in hand to hand combat with a polar bear during his early career exploring the Arctic. The animal in question is quite obviously an actor in a furry costume, and seeing the scene at 24fps makes it even funnier.

Tom Ferreira
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 203
From: Conway, NH, USA
Registered: Jun 99

posted 02-18-2001 12:16 PM

Death Race 2000 was campy fun from the Roger Corman camp(directed by the late Paul Bartel, I believe). I actually own it on DVD. Certainly not to be taken seriously, especially when the casting includes Mary Woronov(the principal from Rock n Roll High School, and one of Warhol's players from the 60's)and David "Kung Fu" Carradine. Just good dumb fun.

Andrew McCrea
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 645
From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-18-2001 02:00 PM

Definately "Vertical Limit"!!!!!!!

What a crap @$$ movie!!!!!

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Andrew McCrea

"I'm Not Bad, I'm Just Drawn That Way!" - Jessica Rabbit

John Pytlak
Film God

Posts: 9987
From: Rochester, NY 14650-1922
Registered: Jan 2000

posted 02-18-2001 03:46 PM

Andrew: Congrats on becoming an "Expert Film Handler" with your 100th posting! Not too bad for one of the "'tween" generation.

Keep asking good questions.

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John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Cell: 716-781-4036 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com
Web site: http://www.kodak.com/go/motion

Andrew McCrea
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 645
From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-18-2001 06:16 PM

So, now with over 100 posts, I'm an expert? Cool!

I'm only 13 and already an expert!

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Andrew McCrea

"I'm Not Bad, I'm Just Drawn That Way!" - Jessica Rabbit

William T. Parr
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 823
From: Cedar Park, TX
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-25-2001 05:20 PM

Worst Movie ever made ISHTAR

, or as we called it at UA the Movies, IS TRASH

Darryl Spicer
Film God

Posts: 3250
From: Lexington, KY, USA
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-25-2001 06:20 PM

the naked lunch. Walked out of it after about 20 minutes of wasted celluloide. Peter weller starred in this crap about an exterminator who gets high on his chemicals and sees things like his type writer turn into a talking roach. Thats when I got up and left.

Heyward Garner
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 101
From: Winston-Salem, NC, USA
Registered: Jan 2001

posted 02-26-2001 12:16 AM

Maybe it's just me... But Hollow Man really chapped my butt... And I walked out of Dr. Dolittle. Had to screen it, just got up and left. If something was wrong with it, I wasn't going to be the one to find out, lol. But as with anything, I am sure someone has opinions completely opposite that of my own...

Christopher K. Williams
Film Handler

Posts: 26
From: Redmond, WA, USA
Registered: Apr 2000

posted 02-28-2001 01:17 AM

"Meet Wally Sparks", one of the first "films" I ever built, gets my vote for worst.

"Baby Geniuses" also ranks up there for films that are... well, rank. We got that gem from our competition as a circuited print, and it had a nasty green-yellow scratch through most of the reels, which myself and the other projectionist who screened it found much more entertaining.

Is anybody here a fan of "Mystery Science Theater 3000"? That is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. I have seen hundreds of foul movies and enjoyed every minute of it thanks to that show!

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