Is this some sort of weird coincidence or what?

A week before Lincoln was killed,
he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A White House intern is shopping at a flea market, and in looking an oil lamp, releases a genie.

The genie promptly grants her three wishes.

"First," she said, "I'd like two of the biggest boobs in the whole world."

During a heated news conference, Clinton was asked, "What about the powerful interest that controls you ?"

I don't think Ken Starr has a sex life.

I am Starr. Starr I are.
I’m a brilliant barri-star.
I’m here to ask, as you’ll soon see;
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in you house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?

I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join — even for fun,
The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
So stow you feathers and your tar,
I did not do her, Starr you are!
Did you smile?
Did you flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
And did you tell the girl to lie,
When called upon to testify?

The Top 5 Surprises
in rhe Monica Lewinsky's Testimony...

5. Ken Starr's original request was for Monica's dress with the "sequin" on it.

4. Stain turns out to be McDonald's "Secret Sauce."

3. Linda Tripp confided that she hopes, Ed Asner plays her in the movie.

2.Although not advertised,anyone tuned into www.My First President.com saw the whole thing!

POOR MONICA HAS GOT IT HARD....

The interview lasted two hours. Two hours? That's more time than Clinton spent with her. (Dennis Miller)

Monica Lewinsky is starting out on a worldwide book signing tour to support her new autobiography, "Monica's Story". Or... you can get the "Books On Tape" version, narrated by Linda Tripp

"Penthouse offered Lewinsky $2 million to pose nude. This confirms what Clinton said in his State of the Union address: He is creating high paying jobs for young people."(Jay Leno)

One day three dwarfs went walking and saw a sign for a "World Records" competition.

The first one entered the 'smallest feet' contest and won.

The second one entered the 'smallest hands' contest and one.

The third entered the 'smallest penis' contest -- and lost.

He came away, very dejected.

"What happened?" asked his friends.

Clinton and Aides

Most wives whose husbands fool around have to worry about their husbands getting AIDS from sex.

Hillary just has to worry about her husband getting sex from aides.

How Time Flies!

Can you believe it? Monica Lewinski turned 28 this week.

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game.

Before the game began a secret service man came up to him and whispered in his ear.

Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out on the field.

It is comforting to know that we are not alone:

A few days after George W. Bush's inauguration, a man came up to the Marine on duty at the White House and said, "I'd like to see President Clinton."

The Marine politely answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer President."

The man said, "Oh, okay," and walked away.

The next day the Marine was again on duty, and the same man approached and
again asked to see President Clinton.

The Marine again answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer President."
Again the man answered, "Oh, okay," and walked away.

The next day the same man approached the same Marine and again asked to
see President Clinton.

The Marine, a little annoyed by this time, said, "Sir, I've told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don't you understand that?"

"Yes, I do," said the man, "but I just enjoy hearing it."

After asking just about anyone with a law degree to come to his defense,Bill Clinton finally turned to the one man he knew could help: JohnnyCochran.

Ken Starr's spies were able to obtain a copy of Mr. Cochran's top ten suggested defense strategies:

10. If the dress ain't a mess, he don't need to confess.

9. The economy's great, let the White Boy skate.

8. If the bitch didn't spit, you must acquit.

7. If she is not spread eagle, then it is not illegal.

6. Lewinsky's a whore, and Bill's better than Gore.

5. So he lied to the masses, he was just saving some asses.

4. He cheats on his wife, but its his personal life.

3. Bill can't tell the truth till he sees Ken Starr's proof

.2. Bill is not sleazy, Lewinsky's just easy.And Johnny Cochran's #1 Clinton defense:

Rated PG

Baloney...