The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we'll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."

A ventriloquist is on stage with his dummy telling numerous blonde jokes.

A rather sophisticated looking blonde in the audience interrupts the act and says "Excuse me sir, but I find it personally offensive in that you keep berating blonde women.

I happen to be a college graduate and quite successful in my career, do you think you could find another stereotype to poke fun at? "

The ventriloquist replies "Im certainly sorry you take offense miss, it is only an act and not really my personal opinion"

A blonde and her boyfriend have just gotten out of bed after a wild night of lovemaking.

Her bellybutton is sore.

Why?

A blonde wanted to buy a TV, so she went into the store.

She found one she wanted, and asked the shop assistant what the price was.

"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was.

The blonde walked out, and got her hair colored into red.

Next day, she walked in, and asked the shop assistant how much her chosen TV was.

"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was again.

She was confused. So, again, she walked out.

She got her hair colored into black. Next day, she walked in, and asked how much was her chosen TV.

"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes!" his reply was again.

Now the blonde was really confused.

"How did you know I was a blonde?" asked the girl.

One day, this cop noticed a woman in a bright red sports car and she was speeding, so he pulled her over, and noticed that she was a drop-dead gorgeous blond woman.

He said,"Ma'am, may I see your liscence?"

"Liscence, what's that?" the beautiful woman asked.

"It's usually in your wallet." The officer said.

She couldn't find it.

"Well then, may I see your registration?"asked the officer.

"Registration? What's that?" the blonde woman asked"

It's usually in your glove compartment." The officer said.

The blonde rummaged thru her glove compartment. She couldnt find it.

So the officer said, "Ma'am I'll be right back." he said ashe walked back to his cop car and called the dispatcher.

The officer said,"I've just pulled over a woman without registration or a liscence."

The dispatcher said,"Is she in a red sports car and is she a dropdead gorgeous blond?"

"Yes." said the officer.

"Ok just pull down your pants in front of her," the dispatcher said,

"No! that's .............innapropriate!" screamed the officer.

"No- just do it." ordered the dispatcher.So the officer walked back to the blonde woman and pulled down his pants.

A man was taking his daily jog and he decided that he would go a bit farther, but he ended up getting lost near this mansion.

He knocks on the door and he sees a rich man answer the door. He needs a place to stay for a while, but the rich man refuses to let him in the mansion to stay, but offers him to stay in a small barn for the night, and that barn is filled with 18 beautiful blondes, but the rich man told him that none of the blondes wanted any sex.

The man agrees anyway.

In the barn everyone was getting ready to go to sleep, but the man was determined to have sex...

The next day, the man knocked on the mansions door again, the rich man answered, and immediately said, "what the hell happened to you!?"

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room.

She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

Well, folks, it has finally happened. The blondes of the world got together and have decided to take revenge on the brunettes:

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

WHAT DO YOU CALL GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH A BRUNETTE?
Brown-bagging it.

WHAT'S THE REAL REASON A BRUNETTE KEEPS HER FIGURE?
No one else wants it.

WHY ARE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES ONE-LINERS?
So brunettes can remember them.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUNETTE IN A ROOM FULL OF BLONDES?
Invisible.

WHAT'S A BRUNETTE'S MATING CALL?
"Has the blonde left yet? "

WHY DIDN'T INDIANS SCALP BRUNETTES?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

WHAT DO BRUNETTES MISS MOST ABOUT A GREAT PARTY?
The invitation

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GOOD LOOKING MAN WITH A BRUNETTE?
A hostage

WHO MAKES BRAS FOR BRUNETTES?
Fisher-Price

One day Blond Mary took her baby sister for a walk up the street.

Her sister still had to ride in a stroller of course. Anyway, Mary
saw her friend Linda. She yelled to Linda to wait for her. So
Mary made her way up the hill.

Once she finally got to Linda she started to talk to her. Suddenly her sister in the stroller started to roll down the hill. "Mary! Your sister is rolling down the hill! Hurry go get her!!!" said Linda.

What do you call 12 blondes standing side to side...
A wind tunnel.

Why do Blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink...
That's where you wash vegetables.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and Big Foot....
Big Foot has been sighted.

Why does a blonde have T.G.I.F. on her shoes.....
Toes Go In First.

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid....
They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that little package.

How to totally confuse a blonde....
Give her a bag of M&M'S and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

What do blondes and cow pies have in common.....
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

How does a blonde turn on the light after sex....
She opens the car door.

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common.....
They're both empty from the neck up.

How do you get a Blonde to marry you ...
Tell her she is pregnant.

How do you drown a blonde ...
Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of the bath tub.

What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract men ...
Her Feet.

What does a Blonde say after sex ..
Are you guys all on the same team?

Why don't blondes like to eat pickles ...
Their head gets stuck in the jar.

How do you know when a blonde is stressed ..
There is a tampon behind her ear and who knows where the pencil is.

What do you call 20 blondes in a circle ..
A dope ring.

What did the blonde say after the doctor told her she was pregnant ...
Are you sure it's mine.

What do you call a group of blondes in a freezer ...
Frosted Flakes

What do you have when you have 4 blonds under your car?
AIR SUSPENSION

what do you have when you have 10 blonds in a row?
WIND TUNNEL

rated R

The other day I encountered a blonde college student majoring in Psychology. Being a college student myself, I decided to engage her in an intellectual conversation about English 102--and how these damn English "professors" have to be manic depressives considering some of the "literature" that they say is great!

Anyhow, as an afterthought, I asked her if she heard about a new book called "The Yellow River" by I.P. Freely. This went completly over her head! She said that she had heard of it, that it was supposed to be a great book, and that she intended to read it. It was only a little while later that she finally "got" the pun. Oh well, so much for blonde psychology majors!

1.Why aren't there any blonde bisexuals?
Twice a year isn't enough.

2.What type of guys do dumb blondes like?
The ones that give them the finger.

3.What do dumb blondes consider foreplay?
Removing their underwear.

4.What do blondes eat to increase their bust size?
Silicone chips.

5.Hows a blonde get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
He spits it out.

6.What's a dumb blonde's favorite cigarette?
More Longs.

7.Why doesn't a dumb blonde snort coke?
Because the bubbles tickle her nose.

8.How a dumb blonde carries out a pregnancy test?
"Did you come inside me?"

9.The difference between a blonde &a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you get on a trampoline.

What did the father say to his dumb blonde daughter?
"Hard to believe you outswam all those other sperm".

What's a dumb blonde's idea of romance?
A lift home afterwards.

Why do dumb blondes go out in pair?
So they have someone to keep score.

What do you give a dumb blonde before you start going out with her?
A complete medical.

Did you hear about the dumb blonde who was a lousy cook?
She used her smoke alarm for a timer.

Why did the dumb blonde musician have bruises on the side of her head?
She was trying to play piano by ear.

Did you hear about the blonde that wanted personalized plates?
She changed her name to GZR 728.