10. What did the blonde do when she heard someone say: “It’s chilly outside”
She wen’t and got a bowl

9. . One blonde was stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

8. What is a blonde doing when she's hanging her head out the window with her mouth open while driving?
Refueling

7. . What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
Both are empty from the neck up.

6. Do you know what the difference between a mosquito and a blonde is?
When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking..

5. What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
The Atlantic Coast doesn’t have that many crabs.

4. How’d the blonde get lip stick on her steering wheel?
She was trying to blow the horn.

3. How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

2. What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
She peed on her corn flakes.

This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde for a position in his company.

He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

Top Ten Blonde Inventions

1) The water-proof towel

2) Solar powered flashlight

3) Submarine screen door

4) A book on how to read

5) Inflatable dart board

6) A dictionary index

7) Ejector seat in a helicopter

8) Powdered water

9) Pedal-powered wheel chair

Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers licence ?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!

(Visual Joke)
Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (make jacking off motions)

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

A blonde was driving down the center of the road at 100 mph.

A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road.

When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please"

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license.

Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door.

One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry."

A young blonde girl, about 14-15 is sitting in school one afternoon.

She puts her hand up to get the teachers attention.

Finally the teacher asks her what her problem is.

She tells the teacher she has to go to the bathroom. 

The teacher tells the young girl that this is a very important lesson, and that she will have to wait until break to go. 

After a few minutes, the young girl raises her hand again, this time, acting much more urgent about the situation.

Again, the teacher puts her off... 

About three minutes later, the young girl stand up in the middle of the lesson, and walks towards the door.

The teacher stops in the middle of a sentence, and asks the girl what she thought she was doing. 

The girl said "You don't understand, I HAVE to go NUMBER THREE!". 

The teacher... quite confused, asks the girl, just what number three was. 

10. Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering  wheel? 
She was trying to blow the horn. 

9. What do you call a blonde holding a balloon 
Siamese twins 

8. The difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking. 

7. What happened to the blonde tap dancer? 
She slipped off and fell down the drain.

6. How do you confuse a blonde? 
Set her down at a Macintosh computer, and tell her  to right click on something.

5. Why wouldn’t the blonde eat sausage?
Are you kidding? A blonde will eat anything.

4. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? 
She was trying to make up her mind! 

3. How do you know that a fax came from a blonde?? 
There is a stamp on it. 

2. How is a blonde like a a bottle?
They're both empty from neck up 

A blonde was standing outside a fast food store, eating a burger, with her panties around her ankles.

A chap walks up and asks, ''Excuse me, but can I ask why your panties are around your ankles?''

''Oh really,'' she says, ''Has he gone now?''

Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?

A: A brunette with bad breath.

Q. How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer to play video games?

A.The joystick is all wet.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A: Sometimes the legs on the ironing board are hard to open!

Q: How do you teach a blonde math?

A guy took a blonde girl out on her first date.

When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." 

"Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?"

"No," the girl replied. 

"Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?"

"N-n-no," the girl stammered. 

10. Why don't blondes make good farmers?
They can't keep their calves together

9. What did the blond say when she woke up in
a pasture under a cow?
What are you guys still doing here?

8 . Blondes are like.....Lava lamps
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

7. Did you hear about the new "Blonde" paint?
It's not very expensive, and it spreads easy!

6. What do you call three blondes in a swimming pool?
Air Bubbles.

5. Hear about the blonde who bought snow tires?
She stored them in the freezer.

4. Why are there not many blonde bisexuals?
Twice a year isn’t enough

3. How does a blonde get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
Just spits it out.

2. Why do blondes take “the pill”?
So they’ll know what day of the week it is.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: You don't have to turn a blonde on to get her wet.
   
   
There are two blondes playing golf.

One is teeing off and hits a man walking to the next hole.

He immediately clasps his hands over his crotch and falls to his knees in pain.

The two blondes run over and ask him if he is all right.

He says that he is fine, but the blondes insist on helping him.

They unzip his pants and begin to massage his crotch.

Judi decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. 

To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. 

Judi: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static." 

Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" 

A blonde at a party, was telling her friend that she'd sworn off men for life.

"They lie, they cheat, and they're just no damn good," she moaned.

"From now on, when I want sex, I'm going to use my tried and tested plastic companion," she said.

"What happens when the batteries run out?" asked her friend.

A blonde left her car out in a hail storm.

When the storm was over she checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents.

She went to the local garage and inquired how to fix the problem.

The mechanic told her to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would be removed.

She took the car home parked it and proceeded to blow on the pipe.

Another blonde came by and inquired what she was doing, she told her she was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents.