1.) While on my way to St. Ives
I saw a man with 7 wives
Each wife had 7 sacks
Each sack had 7 cats
Each cat had 7 kittens
Kitten, cats, sacks, wives
How many were going to St. Ives?
.

2.)The maker doesn't want it.
The buyer doesn't use it.
And the user doesn't see it.
What is it?

3.)Mary left on a horse on Sunday,
was gone for four days,
and came back on Sunday.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride all night to reach town..

As they cross the vast wide open plain, Tonto complains.. "It's bloody cold tonight Kemo-Sabby"..

The Lone Ranger, helpful as ever (and not wanting to buy Tonto a pint) suggests: "When we reach the bar, why don't you jog on the spot for ten minutes, that'll warm you up.."

On reaching the town, the Lone Ranger pop's in the pub for a pint or two of Red-Eye, leaving Tonto jogging outside..

A short while later the sheriff pops his head round the door and shouts over the cliche'd piano music "Who's is the big white horse outside?"

The Masked man answers.." It's mine officer, is there a problem ?"

State Stumper     Answers below line

The names of 15 states are hidden in the sentences below.

1.  Is that terrible bore gone yet?

2.  "Mama, I need a new bicycle said the little boy".

3.  We saw the color ad on the front page of the newspaper..

4 "Oh, I only like mustard on hot dogs," my uncle said.

5.  Put a ham in the shopping cart.

6.  I see the lovely miss is sipping soda through a straw.

7.  Will Al ask a doctor about the pain in his neck?

8.  Where did Mary land her plane after the transatlantic flight?

9.  I sure miss our incredible teacher, don't you?

10. The new beach has a Wade law, a Read law, and a sand castle law.

11. I want a large or giant box of chocolates to share with my friend.

12. Before I connect, I cut the wires and tape the ends.

13. Ken, tuck your shirt in please.

14. If Lori dares to speak out in class, she'll be sent to the office again.

15. "I fell ill," I noisily complained to the flight attendant. =============================================================

1. bORE GONE

2. MaMA I NEed

3. COLOR AD On

4. "OH,I Only

5. pUT A Ham

6. MISS IS SIPPIng

7. AL ASK A

8. MARY LAND

9. MISS OUR Incredible

10. WaDE LAW, A REad law

11. larGE OR GIAnt

12. CONNECT,I CUT

13. KEN, TUCK Your

14. iF LORI DAres

15. ILL, I NOISily.   

What's the difference between hard and light?

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Betty Botter's Butter       

Betty Botter had some butter."But," she said, "this butter's bitter.If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter.But a bit of better butter--that would make my batter better."

Three men went to a motel.

The man behind the desk said the room is $30.00, so each man put up $10.00 each and went to the room.

A little while later he realized the room was only $25.00, so he sent the bellhop back to the three guys room with $5.00.

On the way to the room the bellhop couldn't figure how to split the $5.00 between the three guys so he just gave each one of them $1.00.

He kept the other $2.00.

That left the three guys paying $9.00 each for the room.

3 x $ 9.00 = $27.00 + the $2.00 that the bellhop kept = $29.00.

Tongue Twisters

Try to say "Unique New York" six times real fast.

Some tongue twister limericks:

A tutor who tooted the fluteTried to tutor two tooters to toot.Said the two to the tutor,"Is it harder to toot or To tutor two tooter to toot?"

A canner exceedingly canny One morning remarked to his granny" A canner can can Anything that he can But a canner can't can a can, can he?"

A flea and a fly in flue Were imprisoned so what could they do? Said the flea, "Let us fly.""Let us flee," said the fly.So they flew through a flaw in the flue

.Now try these (and keep them clean!!): I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. Upon a slitted sheet I sit.

I am not a fig plucker, I'm a fig plucker's son.I only pluck fig's 'til the fig plucker comes.

When I was in college, our warm up each day was to sing each of the following phrases, progressing up and down the scale.

We began with:#1. Lemon liniment

We then progressed to:#2. Aluminum lemon liniment.

And ended with:#3. Amalgamated aluminum lemon liniment

Life as a Horse
XXX-Men
Soap Floats
Men in Pink

And here's a terrible tounge twister:

Can you figre it out.
.
..
...
....
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
..
.

The ones who spoke are both zaps. The one who didn't is a zip.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?

Bus Riddle

OK- You are the bus driver.

The bus driver goes to the first stop and picks up three kids.

Then the bus driver goes to the second stop and picks up five.

The bus driver goes to the third stop and picks up two.

At the fourth, he drops of three,

At the fifth, he picks up one,

At the sixth, he drops off four,

And at the very last stop, the bus driver picks up two.

Here are some Riddles , try to find the meaning of them
(answers are below)

1. Why can't an American photographer take a picture of an Asian with a hat?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. What's the next letter in the series?: W T N _?

4. A boy and his father are driving home. They have to cross some train tracks. That day the stop lights for the tracks were broke and they didn't know a train was coming. A train hit them. They were rushed to the hospital where the father died.
The son had to have immediate surgery. The surgeon took one look at the boy and said "I can't operate on him because he's my son!" how can that be?

5. Before you go into the bathroom you're American. When you're in the bathroom, what are you?

Australian Kiss

What is an Austrailian kiss?