"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

--Anonymous

"I hate small towns because once you have seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do."

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

" According to archaeologists, for millions of years Neanderthal man was not fully erect. That's pretty easy to understand considering how ugly Neanderthal women were."

"Why not go out on a limb--that's where all the fruit is!"

"The second day of a diet is always easier that the first. By the second day your off of it."

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

--John Donne, Meditation 17

"The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that wewill hear Him."

"All things are possible until they are proved impossible--and even the impossible may only be so as of now."

"There is in the worst of fortune the best of changes for a happy change."

"Walk boldly and wisely... There is a hand above that will help you on."

"Without the assistance of the Divine Being...I cannot succeed. With that assistance, I cannot fail."

"There will be sex after death, we just won't beable to feel it."

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than
to speak and remove all doubt."