"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you."

-- Jay Leno

Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no
constitution, no law, no court can save it.

"The greatest wealth is contentment with a little."

"Greed, like the love of comfort, is a kind of fear."

"The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more."

"Charity begins at home, but should not stay there."

"He that has no charity deserves no mercy."

"With every rising of the sun, think of your life as just begun."

"There is only one way to have a happy marriage, and as soon as I learn what it is, I'll get married again."

"Oh my God--look at you. Anybody else hurt in the accident?"

"My grandmother is over 80 and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle."

"President Clinton said he flew commercial flights four times last week to show America is safe. Sounds like someone's got a crush on a flight attendant.."

"I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it'strue lightness."

"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and towatch someone else do it wrong, without comment."