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Topic: Second Run - Oldies but Goodies ...
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 06-29-2003 02:57 PM
Rated PG ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Subject: 10 comments made by sports commentators that they'd like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."
6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."
9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?" ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-01-2003 07:22 AM
Rated PG
Southern Baptists John and Marie attended the same church.
Marie went every Sunday and taught Sunday School.
John went on Christmas and Easter and,once in a while,he went on one of the other Sundays.
On one of those Sundays,he was in the pew right behind Marie and he noticed what a fine looking woman she was.While they were taking up the collection,John leaned forward and said, "Hey, Marie,how about you and me for dinner next Friday?"
"Why Yes, John, that would be nice," said Marie.
Well, John couldn't believe his luck.All week long he polished his car, and on Friday he picked up Marie and took her to the finest restaurant in town.
When they sat down, John looked over at Marie said,"Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"
"Oh, no, John,"said Marie. "What would I tell my Sunday School class?"
Well, John was setback a bit,so he didn't say much until after dinner Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.He asked, "Would you like a smoke?"
"Oh, no, John," said Marie. "What would I tell my Sunday School class?"
Well, John felt pretty low after that,so he got in his car and was driving Marie home when they passed a Holiday Inn.He'd struck out twice already,so he figured he had nothing to lose.
"Hey, Marie," said John, "how would you like to stop at this motel ?"
"Sure, that would be nice," said Marie.
Well,John couldn't believe his luck.He did a U-turn right then and there and drove back to the motel and checked in with Marie.
The next morning John got up first.He looked at Marie lying there in the bed."What have I done? What have I done?" thought John. He shook Marie awake."Marie,I've got to ask you one thing," said John.
"What are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"
Marie said, "The same thing I always tell them... "You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time."
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-01-2003 09:52 AM
Rated G
Marketing for Dummies
People often ask for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say,
"I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and
see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up
to him and pointing at you says,
"She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You get up and, straighten your dress.
You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten
his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm,
and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed." -
That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize
that there could be handsome men in all
these houses you're passing. So you climb
onto the roof of one situated toward
the center and shout at the top of your lungs,
"I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Spam.
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-08-2003 03:22 PM
Rated G
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" ?
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knick knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
You're singing it, aren't you?!!
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-09-2003 06:51 AM
Rated G
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Change $ 20.00
Coffee 1.00
Total $ 21.00
*****
Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to be recycled, dump in hole in back yard.
3) Open a beer and drink it
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench; round off plug bolt edges while removing.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process.
12) Clean up mess.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Look for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up. Poke oil filter with screwdriver and hammer; twist off filter with screwdriver.
16) Beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 15.
20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to local bar or distributor; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug
27) Drink beer
28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor
30) Drink beer
31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) poster in the left boob & made a hole.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead, bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Make bail.
50) Get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts $ 50.00
DUI $2,500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1,500.00
Beer $25.00
Total $4,150.00 -- But you know the job was done right!
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-15-2003 09:58 AM
Rated G
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
Because Janet Reno is her real father.
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone there has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff)
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
A northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-15-2003 10:05 AM
Rated R ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "
Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 07-18-2003 08:02 AM
Rated G
Some friars were behind in their belfry payments,so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds.Since everyone liked to
buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down,but they would not.He
went back and begged the friars to close.They ignored him.He
asked his mother to go ask the friars to get out of business.
They ignored her.So,the rival florist hired Hugh Mac Taggart,the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to
close.Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,saying
he'd be back if they didn't close shop.Terrified,the friars did
so.
The Moral of the Story:
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars !!
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
|
posted 07-24-2003 07:19 AM
Rated Michele
What tree did you fall from?
Find your birthday,find your tree and then scroll down... This is really cool and somewhat accurate,also in line with Celtic
astrology.
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree
Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree
APPLE TREE (Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and
attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive,
always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender
partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a
carefree philosopher with imagination.
ASH TREE (Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent,talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.
BEECH TREE (Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical,good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)
BIRCH TREE (Inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant,
friendly, pretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess,
abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very
passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm
and content atmosphere.
CEDAR TREE (Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt,
likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
CHESTNUT TREE (Honesty) - of unusual beauty, does not want to
impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company,
often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior,
feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.
CYPRESS TREE (Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes
what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and
acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and
careless.
ELM TREE (Noble-Minded) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes,
loudest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
FIG TREE (Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed,
independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves
life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social
butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of
practical talent and intelligence.
FIR TREE (Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity,
sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very
ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontested lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.
HAZELNUT TREE (Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very
understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
HORNBEAM TREE (Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks
and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as
comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life,looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner,dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings,mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
LIME TREE (Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed
way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and
idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many
talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often
wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.
MAPLE TREE (Independent) - no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
OAK TREE (Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.
OLIVE TREE (Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,
reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant,
cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive,
empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of
sophisticated people.
PINE TREE (Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust,
knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good
companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its
passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything
disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
POPLAR TREE (Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very self-
confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and
pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity,artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy,reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
ROWAN TREE (Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
WALNUT TREE (Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of
contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon,
unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no
flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
WEEPING WILLOW (Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy,
attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and
tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
|
posted 07-24-2003 09:07 AM
Rated PG Old Fred
Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
|
posted 07-29-2003 06:28 AM
Rated PG
THE OLD 'PIANER' PLAYER
He was a raggedy looking old fellow when he shuffled into the
waterfront bar that late one afternoon. Stinking of whiskey and
cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted"
sign from the window and gave it to the bartender.
"I'd like to apply for the job," he said. The barkeep, the owner
of the place, wasn't too sure about this decrepit looking old
guy,but it had been awhile since he had a piano player and
business was falling off.
"What do you do?" he asked.
"I'm retired," was the answer.."As a matter of fact, I'm a
retired Navy Chief,but since I retired I've done nothing but
drink,chase broads and play the piano". Now, quite unsure that
this guy could hack it,the barkeep decided to give him a try
anyway..He really needed something to draw more customers in.
"The piano's over there,give it a go."
The old guy lurched over to the piano -- several patrons
snickered.But, by the time he was into the third bar of music,
every voice was silenced.What followed was a rhapsody of sound
and music unlike anyone had ever heard in that bar before.When
he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
The bartender brought the old chief a beer and told him that he
played really,really good. "What do you call that?" he asked.
"That was 'Drop Your Skivvies,Baby,We're Gonna Rock Tonight,'"
said the old salt as he took a long pull from the mug.The crowd
winced along with the bartender but the piano player went on."I
got another," as he began to play again.
What followed was a knee-slappin,' hand-clappin' bit of ragtime
that had the place jumping. People were now coming in from the
streets to hear this guy tickle the ivories.After he finished,
the Chief acknowledged the applause and told the crowd that the
song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Anchor Chain Run Out."
He then excused himself and hustled off to the men's room.After
thinking a bit,the bartender decided to hire the guy,no matter
how bad he looked or what his songs were called.When the guy
came out of the men's room,the bartender went over to tell him
he had the job,but then noticed that the old fellow's fly was
undone and his penis was hanging out.He said, "Look Chief, the
job is yours but first I gotta ask,do you know your fly is
undone and your dick is hanging out?"
"Know it?" the old Chief replied, "Hell, I wrote it!
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