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Author Topic: Celebrities Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-23-2007 10:43 AM                        Rated G Lorraine One day actress Susan Sarandon visited Barnes & Noble where, as part of a charity-related dare, she was required to approach a clerk and request a list containing every book in which she had ever been mentioned. The clerk's reply? "You are not a keyword."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-07-2007 03:01 PM                        Rated G Lorraine In 1926, Ernest Hemingway left his first wife (Hadley Richardson) and their small son for a wealthy writer named Pauline Pfeiffer. Shortly thereafter, Hemingway was asked why he had left. His reply? "Because I am a bastard."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-07-2007 03:02 PM                        Rated G Lorraine One day Jack Benny, famed for his role as a violin-playing miser, used a pay toilet in his hotel lobby before jumping into a cab and heading off. He soon realized that he had dropped his wallet in the cubicle, however, and asked the driver to turn around. Back in the rest room, Benny peered through the gap below the door and saw his wallet lying inside. Lacking a dime to get into the cubicle, he slipped under the door and was lying flat on his stomach, reaching for his wallet, when another man entered the room. The newcomer recognized the tightwad of all tightwads apparently attempting to sneak into a pay toilet and Benny, despite a valiant effort, was quite unable to convince him otherwise...  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-15-2007 08:16 AM                        Rated G Lorraine For twas not into my ear you whispered But into my heart Twas not my lips you kissed But my soul. --Judy Garland  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-15-2007 11:59 AM                        Rated G "Big night for the Rolling Stones. I don't want to say the Stones are getting old. But this is not the first time the Rolling Stones performed at an event where roman numerals were used." --Jay Leno  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-25-2007 10:00 AM                        Rated G B.B. "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." -- Jackie Mason  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-06-2007 10:39 AM                        Rated G Lorraine David Bowie once described his courtship of supermodel Iman: "I'd never been out with a model before so I hadn't even bargained on the cliche of the rock star and the model as being part of my life. So I was well surprised to meet one who was devastatingly wonderful and not the usual sort of bubblehead that I'd met in the past. I make no bones about it. I was naming children the night we met."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-07-2007 03:04 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Shortly after moving into a new bachelor pad in Los Angeles in 2003, Justin Timberlake learned that his telephone number was one digit off from a nearby pizza place. Naturally, he was soon swamped with calls from hungry customers. Timberlake's solution? Rather than get mad, he simply started taking orders. "I get their names and addresses," he said, "and tell them their order is on the computer."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-13-2007 11:49 AM                        Rated G Lorraine Though best known for his role in Frankenstein (1931), Boris Karloff was a kind, bookish man off-screen. A true gentleman, he had many friends, among them Charles Starrett (the cowboy actor best known as the "Durango Kid"), who once lived near Karloff in the Hollywood Hills. While driving home after work one night, Starrett suddenly slammed on his brakes as he passed Karloff's home and nearly crashed his car. "Boris for God's sake!" he shouted, running over to the garden where Karloff, in full Monster regalia, was standing with a watering can. "What are you trying to do? Scare me to death?" "Well, Charlie," Karloff mildly replied, "we worked late tonight, and the rose garden needed watering. I didn't have time to wait around."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-16-2007 05:01 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Jack Benny was famed for his role as a comical miser. "When Jack Benny has a party," George Burns once quipped, "you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-17-2007 09:37 AM                        Rated G Lorraine After a school in his home town (Waukegan, Illinois) was named after him, famed comedian Jack Benny made a point of visiting every year to speak with the children. While Benny was addressing a class of twelve-year-olds one year, a student raised his hand and posed a curious question: "Mr. Benny," he asked, "why did they name you after our school?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-10-2007 12:31 PM                        Rated G I had plenty of pimples as a kids. One day I fell asleep in the library. Whyen I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. --Rodney Dangerfield  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-16-2007 05:55 PM                        Rated G Lorraine While attending a dinner party one evening, Poet Laureate Robert Frost and his fellow guests were invited onto a veranda to watch the sun set. "Oh, Mr. Frost," a young woman exclaimed, "isn't it a lovely sunset?" "Sorry," Frost replied. "I never discuss business after dinner."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-11-2007 06:38 PM                        Rated G Quirk "Kevin Federline is now wearing an eye patch over one eye. I think I know what happened. I think he must have run into someone who paid 16 bucks for his C.D." -Jay Leno  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-14-2007 05:43 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Cecil B. De Mille was once so busy that he asked Pauline Kessinger, the head of the studio commissary, to make his lunch selections for him. She agreed and began serving him a bowl of split-pea soup, a piece of custard pie, and a glass of milk every Monday - until, one day, the kitchen ran out of peas. When De Mille arrived with his entourage, Pauline approached their table in a panic. "I'm very sorry, Mr. De Mille," she said, "but I'll have to give you something else today. I think I'm going to have to fire the chef because we ran out of peas." De Mille smiled and gave her an enormous hug. "Honey, may I tell you something?" he asked. "I hate split-pea soup." Kessinger was stunned. "But Mr. De Mille," she exclaimed, "why have you let me serve it to you for twenty years!?" "You seemed to be so pleased with that choice," he gently replied, "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."  |  IP: Logged

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