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Author Topic: Celebrities Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-03-2006 08:38 AM                        Rated G B.B. If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. -- Peter Ustinov  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-07-2006 08:16 AM                        Rated G cutie pa2ti What a life. When I was a kid I asked my dad if I could go ice skating. He told me to wait until it gets warmer. ~ Rodney Dangerfield~  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-07-2006 08:26 AM                        Rated G Milton Berle's father Moses Berlinger, the son of a German immigrant, was a dreamer, a jack-of-all-trades, and master of none. He tried to earn a living doing everything from painting houses to selling door-to-door to "inventing" chocolate-covered cherries (which had already been invented). But nothing he tried ever worked out. "We lived in the Bronx and on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in an assortment of crummy flats and brownstones but there was never enough money to pay the rent," Berle remembered years later. "We were always having to sneak our furniture and belongings out and move to a new place. It wasn't until I was fairly grown that I learned that moving could be done in the daytime. I thought it was like sleeping - something you had to do at night."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-21-2006 03:16 PM                        Rated G cutie pa2ti Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. ~Mel Brooks~  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-21-2006 03:20 PM                        Rated G Lorraine "The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public." --George Jessel  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-21-2006 03:22 PM                        Rated G Lorraine "Be like a duck, calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath." --Michael Caine  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-23-2006 03:42 PM                        Rated G Lorraine TALLULAH BANKHEAD QUOTES (1903 - 1968) "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me." "They used to shoot her through gauze. You should shoot me through linoleum." (referring to Shirley Temple) "I'm as pure as the driven slush." "It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time." "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-24-2006 04:30 PM                        Rated G cutie pa2ti Boston is, in fact, the drinkingest town I've ever been in my entire life. I've never seen a town drunk more as an aggregate. Do you ever just wake up as a city collectively and go, "Hey, what did we do last night?" ~Jon Stewart~  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-12-2006 02:41 PM                        Rated G Betsy One of my favorite poets is the first grader in Ellisville, Missouri whose teacher noticed he wasn't his usual energetic self, "Don't you feel well?" she asked. "No" he said. "I think I've got peanut butter stuck to my heart." --Dick Van Dyke (Those Funny Kids!)  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-19-2006 01:34 PM                        Rated G Lorraine As she retired to the kitchen to put the finishing touches to the dinner preparations, actress Helen Hayes warned her family: "This is the first turkey I've ever cooked. If it isn't right, I don't want anybody to say a word. We'll just get up from the table, without comment, and go down to the hotel for dinner." She returned some ten minutes later to find the family seated expectantly at the dinner table—wearing their hats and coats.  |  IP: Logged Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 08-08-2006 12:35 PM                        Rated G... Recently we celebrated the anniversary of Albert Einstein's birthday. He was born March 14, 1879. Few remember that the brilliant mathematician and Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed.  He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.   This is known as… Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-12-2006 11:45 AM                        Rated G It is rumored that Bobby Fischer got bored of playing chess with Russians. He asked the association to fix his next match with some other Europeans. His telegram read, "How about a Czech, mate?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-15-2006 02:19 PM                        Rated G Lorraine On the morning after Jack Benny's death, his widow, Mary, received a single long-stemmed rose from the local florist. When another rose was delivered the next day, Mary called the florist and was told of an order her husband had placed before he died: He had made provision in his will for the florist to supply "one perfect red rose daily for the rest of Mary's life."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-16-2006 01:48 PM                        Rated G "Show me where Stalin is buried and I'll show you a Communist Plot." Edgar Bergen  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-23-2006 09:33 AM                        Rated G Lorraine "I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." Arnold Schwarzenegger  |  IP: Logged

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