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Author Topic: Are you "out" at work? -> OT Weight Loss Leo Enticknap Film God Posts: 7474 From: Loma Linda, CA Registered: Jul 2000 posted 06-21-2003 03:35 PM                        John writes: quote: I'm not insecure, I'm just happy AND secure with who I am. By the remark you're responding to I didn't mean to say that any and all kissing/hand-holding/shows of affection in public is wrong. I have no problem whatsoever with a brief show of affection when someone, for example, meets their partner after work. What gets up my nose is prolonged and exaggerated shows of affection, which are usually done for political reasons, e.g. as a way of saying 'I've got a girl/boyfriend and you haven't, so there', or 'My other half is your boss, therefore I have power over you which otherwise I wouldn't'. IHMO, far too much of that goes on in workplaces, the partnerships causing the problem being both hetero- and homosexual in equal proportion. And people citing their families and other halves as an excuse for not pulling their weight in the workplace has plagued my working life ever since leaving school, e.g. hour-long 'phone calls to the significant other at the employer's financial expense and my workload expense, or refusal to do any overtime or work flexibly on the grounds that their family life takes priority. There are times when I get extremely annoyed at people feeling that because I'm not attached, I can be taken advantage of in this way. I'm very much looking forward to the day when I am responsible for - rather than to - these people and can actually tell them what's acceptable and what isn't.  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 06-21-2003 05:47 PM                        *sigh* There are NO white history months Manny. You just assume that there are since the other 11 months are not labeled as Black History Month. If you can show me some documentation that there are any months that are OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED as a white history month, then you win. Gracia, where I come from it is does not seem to be acceptable to discriminate against those who are overweight. I can see where you are coming from though, as there are plenty of jokes floating around especially on TV. *sigh* Anyway back to "pride". I am straight. I am proud of who I am.  |  IP: Logged Manny Knowles "What are these things and WHY are they BLUE???" Posts: 4247 From: Bloomington, IN, USA Registered: Feb 2002 posted 06-21-2003 07:28 PM                     FWIW, it isn't easy being UNDERWEIGHT and gay.  |  IP: Logged Gracia L. Babbidge Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 709 From: Bowdoin, Maine Registered: Aug 2000 posted 06-23-2003 11:22 AM                        I guess it just comes down to the fact that too many people on this planet are too superficial for their own good. Either that or television is the devil! I know that I'm comfortable and happy with who I am and what I do, so it doesn't matter to me what others think. Karma takes care of those the ones that are unnecessarily hateful.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 06-23-2003 01:20 PM                       Very good, Gracia. I've always been okay with my size. I get ribbed all the time about being fat, I have ever since I was a youngster. A friend once told me I must have that look that says I'm good natured about such things... but not everyone is so good natured. It's all over TV and society in general.  |  IP: Logged John Spooner Expert Film Handler Posts: 186 From: South Australia, Australia Registered: Jan 2003 posted 06-23-2003 02:02 PM                     Dear Tim. An associate of mine is also on the portly side. He has a spectacles case with the most apt wording, being a picture of the Southpark characters and the words "I`m not fat, I`m big boned!" Regards. John Spooner. South Australia.  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 06-23-2003 06:49 PM                        Dear Tim, I find it hard to imagine that people have the gall to say something directly to you about your weight. I mean, that's just damn rude. I don't even mention it to my friends if they lose a hair, have wrinkled clothes, gained weight, whatever. Do the people who say these things expect you guys to laugh in response? I am quite baffled. Sincerely, Joe Redifer Denver. CO USA  |  IP: Logged Gracia L. Babbidge Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 709 From: Bowdoin, Maine Registered: Aug 2000 posted 06-24-2003 07:15 PM                        Joe, I think you'd be surprised at just how rude some people can be towards overweight people.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 06-25-2003 02:25 AM                       I've heard that line, John. quote: Do the people who say these things expect you guys to laugh in response? It's true, Joe. Just like Rodney Dangerfield's joke, I can be sitting down to lunch, or at a party, and not have anything to eat. But, I take one bite, and I will inevitably get the "Oh, you're at it again, are ya? You're really putting it away!", or "Save some for me!"-type comments. All accompanied by laughs. Forget the fact that there might be a little guy sitting next to me, eating twice as much. The one that really gets me is, every time you see a fat person on a TV show or in a movie, they are usually depicted as continually stuffing Twinkies in their mouths -- and making a mess of it. Understand this doesn't hurt my feelings, it's just unfunny because no one does that. Society's prevailing assumption holds that we're slothful, have no will power, and eat all the time. That's a stereotype. While it may be true in some instances, many of us have physiological problems, and being overweight is just a fact of life. Indeed, we're stereotyped and discriminated against -- often without the person's knowledge. WE know when it happens, but what can you do? That's life.  |  IP: Logged Michael Schaffer "Where is the Boardwalk Hotel?" Posts: 4143 From: Boston, MA Registered: Apr 2002 posted 06-25-2003 05:34 AM                        Tim, people do not make fun of you because you are overweight. They do whatever they do because they are idiots who have lots of problems themselves. If you are overweight, and what appears to be a friendly, open, sensitive person at the same time, they just take advantage of your friendliness to hurt you. If it weren`t that, they would find something else to hurt you with. Take me for example - I am very heavy too, but people never comment on that directly to me (I am sure they do behind my back, but I don`t care). Why? Because I am a very dominating and sometimes somewhat aggressive person, and, what makes me more dangerous is that I am rhetorically more talented than most. So they know they would get it back immediately, and they piss off and try to hurt the really nice people instead.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 06-25-2003 11:29 AM                       There might be something to that, Michael. I did get picked on a lot as a child, before I gained weight. Maybe I just need a new attitude?  |  IP: Logged Rachel Craven Madam Moderator Posts: 2190 From: Pensacola, FL Registered: Dec 2000 posted 06-25-2003 02:31 PM                     That's a good look for you Tim! People don't understand that sometimes people are overweight for reasons other then their diet. While most people who are overweight can attest it partly to diet, very often the overweight people eat as healthy or more healthy then the average person. I for one have a medical reason why I am overweight (not saying I have the perfect diet--but I wouldn't say its any worse then normal! ), the constant teasing during my adolescents caused me to be very shy and withheld when I was younger which caused people around me to dominate me and pick on me constantly. I now (as most of my friends would tell anyone!) have low self-esteem and low self-worth...although it is completely normal to me and I don't even realize most of the time that I am making low comments about myself it pisses people who are close to me off to no end. Even though I have gotten better as I've gotten older, the 'normal' person doesn't realize the emotional damage they can do to another person just by making rude comments.  |  IP: Logged Rachel Craven Madam Moderator Posts: 2190 From: Pensacola, FL Registered: Dec 2000 posted 06-25-2003 09:51 PM                     And like always, I stop conversation!  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 06-26-2003 02:25 AM                        Michael Shaffer you really need an updated pic. You ARE NOT one of the Bee Gee's! Please stop trying to look like one.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 06-26-2003 02:01 PM                       Rachel, I'm sorry to hear that. People can be cruel, and it has lasting effects. To me, you always looked like someone who exuded a lot of confidence. It sounds like, as you get older, you realize none of those comments were based in fact, which is a good indication you're lifting yourself up. Chin up!  |  IP: Logged

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