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Author Topic: Education Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-07-2007 03:00 PM                        Rated G Lorraine When I was 30, I worked as a kindergarten teacher. One day as I was talking to the children seated on the floor around me, I absentmindedly removed my glasses to clean them. “Wow, Miss Cummings!” one child exclaimed. “You look really different without your glasses on!” Another child piped up, “I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!”  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-13-2007 11:59 AM                        Rated G B.B. Linda had returned to college after the youngest of her two children finished high school. Curious, I called to see how her transition from kitchen to classroom was going. "Remember that computer class I enrolled in?" she asked. "Well, I now know the difference between hardware, software and Tupperware!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-16-2007 03:43 PM                        Rated G Hank in Simi Valley A teacher asked her class, what do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals." The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?" The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and of course, I'll need a jackass to pay for all of it."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-18-2007 12:51 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Every spring, we line up all the items lost through the year so that the students have a chance to reclaim their belongings. On the day the items lined the hallway, I walked my first grade class past. One child saw a familiar vest and showed it to me. When I brought it to the child we both thought owned it, the boy said, “It can't be mine; mine's lost!”  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-20-2007 07:07 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Our school librarian, frustrated by students not returning books on time, placed a large grey pouch beside the library door. A note in the school's daily announcements read: "All late books must be returned to the old gray bag in the library."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-20-2007 07:08 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Last year I gave my fourth grade class an assignment: Find out what event took place 103 years ago on December 17. The right answer was the first flight by Wilbur and Orville Wright. The children brainstormed how to get the answer: on the Internet, in newspapers, from their parents, grandparents. Then after the students left for the day, one young fellow and his pal returned to get a jump on their friends. "We think we know the answer," he crowed. "Your birthday!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-20-2007 07:10 PM                        Rated G Lorraine When I transferred to a new school as principal, I continued a program I had often conducted: Chicken eggs were placed in an incubator, and the children, with the aid of lights, viewed the embryos, watched them hatch and then cared for the chicks. On the last day the chicks were to be at the school, I carried a fluffy little bird to the first grade classroom and let each child touch it. One girl, caressing the chick, whispered to me, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a principal." Surprised, I asked, "Why would you want to be a principal?" "I want to hatch chickens," she answered.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-20-2007 07:11 PM                        Rated G Lorraine I was amazed but pleased when my most unathletic daughter, Trudy, arrived home from third grade sports day with a "First" blue ribbon. I told her how proud I was of her and asked what race she had run to win a first-place ribbon. "It was a relay race, Mom," she replied. I asked what position she had run. "Oh, I didn’t run," she answered. "I was the pole our team ran around."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-25-2007 04:43 PM                        Rated G Lorraine My fellow teacher called for help... she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net." Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out. Later, the teacher called back. The trick worked. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-13-2007 11:03 AM                        Ratedd G A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French." The boy ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!" "Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?" "I don't know," the boy replied; "I couldn't understand them."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-10-2007 04:35 PM                        Rated G Lorraine In one of the eleventh grade chemistry classes I teach, I told the students that because we were near the end of the school year, I'd hold an extra review class the evening before the final exam. I asked them to bring the textbook, all their notes and any problems they felt had given them trouble throughout the year. One boy raised his hand and asked, “Does that mean we bring our parents, too?”  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-11-2007 01:35 PM                        Rated G Lulu A woman called the dean of the college that her freshman son was attending. "I'm worried. I don't know who my son can hang out with. He doesn't have the kind of money all the other students have." The dean replied, "He can hang out with the faculty."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-11-2007 01:47 PM                        Rated G Lorraine My daughter, Karen, loved her small keyboard so much she decided to take it to school for show-and-tell. When I hadn't seen it around the house for a couple of days, I asked her where it was. "I lost it," she replied. I told her to ask at the school office and her teachers if it had been turned in. When it hadn't, I contacted the school myself. The principal assured me that a thorough search would be made throughout the school and the grounds checked. A few days later Karen returned with her keyboard. When I asked where it had been, she replied, "In my desk."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-11-2007 01:53 PM                        Rated G Lorraine One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Baker, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Don't forget to use wooden spoons." As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Baker to test my theory. "Why wooden spoons?", I asked. "Because," she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'd go nuts!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-11-2007 01:56 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Little Susie had been bringing her drawings home from kindergarten every day since she started school a month ago. Each day her mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her. Little Susie only used black and blue for her drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take her to a child psychologist. The psychologist delicately went to work. She gave Little Susie a battery of psychological tests. She chatted with Little Susie. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet everyday, Little Susie continued to bring home drawings in only blacks and blues. Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Susie some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happened. Little Susie opened the box of crayons and said, "Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and blue!"  |  IP: Logged

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