my profile | my password | search | faq & rules | forum home

» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon   » Holiday 's (Page 9)

This topic comprises 27 pages: 1  2  3  ...  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  ...  25  26  27

Author Topic: Holiday 's Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-17-2002 07:13 AM                        Rated PG Naughty Christmas Carol A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night." The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing........ "Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-17-2002 08:08 AM                        Rated G Rudolph Is A Female According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen........had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-17-2002 08:12 AM                        Rated G The Ultimate Christmas Gift? Dear Santa, I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply. I want to slap Martha Stewart. Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living. We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18 carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it. OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego. We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart Living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave." The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either." Well lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa! That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker? In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher, that qualifies "put away" in my house! Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Just scarves, mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue. She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s" and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends." Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt). The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge. A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast. This confirms what I've sus-pected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off. If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right? When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back. "Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha. And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives. There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year. You probably want to smack her yourself!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-19-2002 06:53 AM                        Rated PG Baby Blues Mom's Night Before Christmas[/b] It was the night before Christmas,when all thru the abode Only one creature was stirring,and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping,all snug in their beds, While visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie,flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, With a half-constructed bicycle on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, Which made her sigh,"Now what's the matter?" With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, She descended the stairs,and saw the old man. He was covered with ashes and soot,which fell with a shrug. "Oh great," muttered the mom,"Now I have to clean the rug." "Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa,"I'm glad you're awake." "Your gift was especially difficult to make." "Thanks,Santa,but all I want is some time alone." "Exactly!"he chuckled,"I've made you a clone." "A clone?"she asked,"What good is that? Run along,Santa,I've no time for chit-chat." The mother's twin.Same hair,same eyes, Same double chin."She'll cook,she'll dust, " She'll mop every mess.You'll relax,take it easy, Watch The Young & the Restless." "Fantastic!"the mom cheered."My dream come true! "I'll shop.I'll read.,I'll sleep a whole night through!" From the room above,the youngest began to fret. "Mommy?!I scared...and I 'm wet." The clone replied,"I'm coming, sweetheart." "Hey,"the mom smiled,"She knows her part." The clone changed the small one,and hummed a tune, as she bundled the child,in a blanket cocoon. "You the best mommy ever."I really love you." The clone smiled and sighed,"I love you,too." The mom frowned and said,"Sorry,Santa,no deal. " That's my child's love,she's trying to steal." Smiling wisely Santa said,"To me it is clear, " Only one loving mother,is needed here." The mom kissed her child,and tucked her into bed. "Thank you,Santa,for clearing my head. I sometimes forget,it won't be very long, When they'll be too old,for my cradle-song." The clock on the mantle began to chime. Santa whispered to the clone,"It works every time." With the clone by his side Santa said,"Goodnight. Merry Christmas,Mom,You'll be all right." ~Unknown Author~  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-19-2002 08:40 AM                        Rated PG A DOGGIE CHRISTMAS SONG by Maximillion Chewbacha Meagher Oh you better watch out, You better not growl, You better not bark, You better not howl, Santa Claws is coming to town.... He knows when you are staying, He knows when 'ur on a down, He knows where you've been pissin' So you better be a very good hound, Oh you better be quiet, You better not beg, You better not bite, Or hump a strange leg, Santa Claws is coming to town.... He know if you're butt sniffin", He knows what you've chewed up, He knows if you've been eatin' turds, So you better be a pretty good pup, He's makin a list, Checkin it twice, He wants to know why, We have so many mice, Santa Claws is coming to town...... Oh you better not chase, You better not shed, You better not whine, And stay out of my bed, Santa Claws is coming to town..... HO HO HO  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-20-2002 01:20 PM                        Rated G Christmas In The Kitchen! Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen; I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin. I've been here for hours, I cant stop to rest. This room's a disaster, just look at this mess! Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed. They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need! My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs. The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs. There's a knock at the door and the telephones ringing; frosting drips on the counter as the microwaves dinging. Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done; my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs. I've had alI I can stand, I can't take anymore; Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor. He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady; then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!" He looks all around and with total regret, says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet?" As quick as a flash I reach for a knife; He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life! He flees from the room in terror and pain and screams "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE !!" Now what was I doing, and what is that smell? Oh damn, it's the pies !! They're burned all to hell I hate to admit when I make a mistake, but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE. What else can go wrong ?? Is there still more ahead? If this is good living, I'd rather be dead. Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays; It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed. But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year, You wont find me pulling my hair out in here. I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter; and if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!!!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-20-2002 01:34 PM                        Rated G "Name That Christmas Carol!" (Answers below--no cheating!) 1. Bleached Yule 2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration 3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors 4. Righteous Darkness 5. Arrival Time 2400 hrs - Weather Cloudless 6. Loyal Followers Advance 7. Far Off in a Feeder 8. Array the Corridor 9. Bantam Male Percussionist 10.Monarchial Triad 11.Nocturnal Noiselessness 12.Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers 13.Red Man En Route to Borough 14.Frozen Precipitation Commence 15.Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle 16 The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis 17.Query Regarding Identity of Descendant 18.Delight for this Planet 19.Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings 20.The Dozen Festive 24-Hour Intervals ANSWERS: 1. White Christmas 2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire 3. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth 4. O Holy Night 5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear 6. O Come, All Ye Faithful 7. Away in a Manger 8. Deck the Hall 9. Little Drummer Boy 10. We Three Kings 11. Silent Night 12. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen 13. Santa Claus is Coming to Town 14. Let it Snow 15. Go, Tell It on the Mountain 16. Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer 17. What Child is This? 18. Joy to the World 19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing 20. The Twelve Days of Christmas  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-20-2002 01:49 PM                        Rated G CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake? YUPPIE Live tree, planted after use. MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use. FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur balls. CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant? YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm. MALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team. FEMALE: Elegant flickering candles. REALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down. CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star? YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype. MALE: Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt. FEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas. REALITY: Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts. CONTROVERSY: Do you fling or hang tinsel? YUPPIE: Empower each strand with/self-determining skills. MALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree. FEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand of spaghetti. REALITY: More icicles on floor than on tree. CONTROVERSY: Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve or Morning. YUPPIE: Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules. MALE: Anytime, just so it doesn't interfere with football. FEMALE: Anytime the entire family is present. REALITY: Doesn't matter, everyone's peeked anyway.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-21-2002 09:05 AM                        Rated G A mother was pleased with the card her son had made her for Christmas,but was puzzled as to the scraggly-looking tree from which many presents dangled,and at the very top,something that looked strangely like a bullet. She asked him if he would explain the drawing and why the tree itself was so bare,instead of a fat pine tree. "It's not a Christmas tree."he said."It's a cartridge in a pear tree."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-21-2002 11:00 AM                        Rated G Santa's Secret Wish   On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee, "I want your secret. Tell it to me." He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear "How do you do it year after year?"   "I want to know how, as you travel about, Giving gifts here and there, you never run out. How is it Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys? Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small, From nation to nation, reaching them all?"   And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy, "Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?" But the child shook his head, and Santa could see That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me," He told that small boy with the light in his eyes, "My secret will make you sadder and wise.   "The truth is that my sack is magic inside It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride. But although I do visit each girl and each boy I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad, Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad.   Some homes are broken, and the children there grieve. Those homes I visit, but what should I leave? "My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff, But for homes where despair lives toys aren't enough. So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl and boy, And I pray with them that they'll be given the joy   Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives In the heart of the dear child who gets not, but gives. "If only God hears me and answers my prayer, When I visit next year, what I will find there Are homes filled with peace, and with giving, and love And boys and girls gifted with light from above.   It's a very hard task, my smart little brother, to give toys to some, and to give prayers to others. But the prayers are the best gifts, the best gifts indeed, For God has a way of meeting each need. "That's part of the answer. The rest, my dear youth, is that my sack is magic. And that is the truth.   In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve Day More love than a Santa could e'er give away. The sack never empties of love, or of joys Cause inside it are prayers, and hope. Not just toys The more that I give, the fuller it seems, Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams.   "And do you know something? You've got a sack, too. It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you. It never gets empty, it's full from the start. It's the center of lights, and love. It's your heart And if on this Christmas you want to help me, Don't be so concerned with the gifts 'neath your tree. Open that sack called your heart and share Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care."   The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing. "Thanks for your secret. I've got to be going." "Wait, little boy," Said Santa, "don't go. Will you share? Will you help? Will you use what you know?" And just for a moment the small boy stood still, Touched his heart with his small hand and whispered, "I will." ~by Betty Werth~  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-22-2002 09:20 AM                        Rated PG Christmas Could be the coming of the season's man in red As I greet the morning, no need to pull on a cap. Early morning black, the season took the green. Someone lit the morning lawn with many lights Made from the street illumination twinkle, Seeing that I ask the sleepy legs to move. Early walking, the sparkles wear no cap So early up, there's not; although the lawn was green Just so short ago, green in the sun's light The ordered blades so green, and n'er a twinkle, Dear life so divine took me to see and move Upon day's re-emergent signals from the man in red. Putting on my cap and vest, I remember there ain't much green I march to the shoppe, the man who fills a bag so light. Without the tempest of torn wrap we lose the twinkle, But it's a tradition of the calendar we should not move, We need the jolly elf in a white land to show us red, And this time I can get a best pal a big knit cap. Can we gift all the pals in lands of differing light? We follow a pledge of ancient wise who once saw a twinkle In the sky that wasn't a before or aft, that caused them to move To the light of night through the days sun of red Which threw light on thier father's word put in thier cap, They bore gems and gold, a wish, smells fragrant green. On our wonder-rock I feel I share a Magi twinkle Although that sapphire by time did move. Headed home aft dark some houses decorated red Electric, green and all, I feel cold and snuggle cap Down on a buzzy chill, as the traffic light turns green, To inspect the good's cheer in incandescent light. I melt some snowflakes off my clothes and face, make move Indoors, the shoppe lady wrapped the things in green and red. The eve of Christmas action is the season's cap - Next morning calm adornments on tree of green Come to eye in another bright yet stilled light, Odd how on top - brass angel star on top gave a twinkle.  |  IP: Logged David Favel Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 764 From: Ashburton, New Zealand Registered: Feb 2002 posted 12-23-2002 02:33 PM                     POLITICALLY CORRECT 'Twas the night before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose, And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-23-2002 04:35 PM                        Rated PG Things Not To Say When Hanging The Lights Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? (Page Six's Psychiatrist claims the other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. He is rarely wrong on these things.)We rush to print with an emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree. -- "You've got two red lights right next to each other, dummy.You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..." --"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try." --"What the hell do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?" --"Come away from that aluminum ladder,kids.I'm going to fry that sucker." --"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles.You're worse than your father." --"Give me that." --"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top." -"I don't care if you have found another two strings,I'm done,dammit." --"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?" --"Have you been drinking?" --"Where's the cat?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-23-2002 05:25 PM                        Rated G MERRY CHRISTMAS - FLORIDA STYLE T'was the night before Christmas and all through the town, no noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down, no children in flannels were tucked into bed, they all wore shorty pajamas instead. To find wreaths of holly, t'was not very hard, for holly trees grew in every back yard. In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were adorning the bushes and coconut palms. The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee, hoping to find water skis under the tree. They all knew that Santa was well on his way, in a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh. And soon he arrived and started to work, he hadn't a second to linger or shirk. He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road, in a S-L 300, delivering his loads. The tropical moon gave the city a glow, and lighted the way for old Santa below. As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle, he was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle, There weren't any chimneys, but that caused no gloom, for Santa came in through the Florida room. He stopped at each house....stayed only a minute, emptying his sack of stuff that was in it. Before he departed, he treated himself to a glass of papaya juice upon the shelf. He turned with a jerk and bounced to the car, remembering he still had to go very far. He shifted the gears and stepped on the gas and up Highway 436 he went like a flash. And I heard him exclaim as he went on his way, "MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL, I WISH I COULD STAY!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-23-2002 06:20 PM                        Rated G Funnybones To all friends out there: MERRY CHRISMAS JOYEUX NOEL FELIZ NAVIDAD BON NATALE FROEHLICHE WEICHNACHTEN POZDREVLYAYU PRAZDNIKOM BOAS FESTA WESOLYCH SWAIT I SZESESLINEGO NOWEGO ROKU:D  |  IP: Logged

All times are Central (GMT -6:00)

This topic comprises 27 pages: 1  2  3  ...  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  ...  25  26  27

Printer-friendly view of this topic

Hop To: Select a Forum: Category: Operations -------------------- Digital Cinema Forum Film Handlers' Forum Large Format Forum Ground Level Feature Info, Trailer Attachments & REAL Credit Offsets Category: Community -------------------- Film-Yak Film Handlers' Movie Reviews The Afterlife Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon Category: Classified -------------------- Equipment and Supplies Wanted/For Sale Help Wanted/Seeking Employment Category: System -------------------- Software Beta Testing Forum

The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.