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Author Topic: Kids and Grand Children Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-06-2005 06:40 AM                        Rated G Judi and her husband Phil noticed that their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter Nikki was staring out of the big picture window in the living room, watching the heavy snowfall. Pointing at the large snowflakes, Nikki called out to her parents, "Come look! It's raining butterflies outside!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-06-2005 06:42 AM                        Rated G Maggie Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination not to live without it.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-06-2005 10:13 AM                        Rated G My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until much later that Dad finally confessed that his question had actually been directed to the family dog, laying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2005 09:29 PM                        Rated G After counting up the money he received following his First Communion, seven-year-old Chad told his father Dan, "Wow, I've got a lot of money. When I grow up I'm going to spend it on a car." "You'll need a lot more money than that because a car is very expensive," said Dan. After a few moments of silence, Chad had an idea and said, "I know how I can buy a new car. I'll keep changing religions and get money after each First Communion."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-10-2005 08:05 AM                        Rated G A very proud grandmother was walking through the park, pushing her two grandchildren in a stroller. A young woman walked by and said, "My, what fine looking little boys. They must be your grandsons." "Yes they are," said the grandmother. "How old are they?" asked the younger woman. "The lawyer is three and the doctor is two."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-13-2005 11:34 AM                        Rated G Lorraine When we get home," I lectured my three young sons in the backseat of the car, "I want you all to clean your rooms because Uncle Ed is coming over. He's never been to our house before, and I want it to look tidy." My nine-year-old finally broke a lengthy silence. "But isn't that kind of like lying?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-19-2005 08:29 AM                        Rated G Judy I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed- time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!" Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have mommies and daddies." Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR mom?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-21-2005 06:15 AM                        Rated G Betsy Kimberly had her daughter Marie, a fourth-grader, assist her in harvesting some vegetables in their garden. "What is that purple thing?" asked Marie. Kimberly replied, "That's an eggplant." "An eggplant?" Marie exclaimed. "I thought only chickens had eggs!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-21-2005 06:19 AM                        Rated G Helping me sort clothes into "save" and "give away" piles, my six- year-old daughter came across a garter belt. "What's this?" she asked. "It's a garter belt," I said. Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added, "It's for holding up stockings." "Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile, "we'll use it next Christmas Eve."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-22-2005 01:06 PM                        Rated G Lorraine At his grandmother's invitation, my 16-year-old son had his birthday party at her house while she was on vacation. The morning after the party, I called to see how things had gone. He told me some salsa had been spilled on Grandma's new carpet, but he'd cleaned it up and the red stain was gone. As I breathed a sigh of relief, he continued, "Now how do I get the bleach out?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-04-2006 04:27 PM                        Rated G Michele Despite the rain that seems to accompany us on every trip, my husband and I are avid campers, and so is our daughter, Amy. The year Amy was five years old, however, our two-week vacation began with pleasant sunny weather. After we returned home, Amy was telling her granny all about our trip. "We drove and drove and drove till we found rain. Then we camped!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-04-2006 04:29 PM                        Rated G Roger A father was shopping in a department store with his small daughter, when the little girl pulls on his coat sleeve and announces, "Daddy, I have to go!" "In a few minutes, sweetie." says the dad. "But, I've got to go NOW," the little girl insists in a loud voice. A saleslady standing nearby can't help but hear the conversation and says, "I'll take her, sir. It's no problem." So, as the father watches, the two hurry off hand in hand. When they return the father asks his daughter, "Did you thank the nice lady for being so kind?" "Why should I thank her?" asks the little girl in a loud voice... "She had to go, too!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2006 12:32 PM                        Rated G Bruce I believe my young daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses. I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2006 12:37 PM                        Rated G My three-year-old brother had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time that my mom told him, she was very insistent. His response was, "Yes, Sir!" Since he was talking to our mother, we didn't expect him to call her Sir. " You would say, 'Yes, Sir' to a man. I am a lady, and you would say 'Yes Ma'am,' to a lady." Mom said. To quiz him on his lesson, she then asked him, "What would you say to Daddy?" "Yes, Sir!" came the reply. "Then what would you say to Mama?" "Yes Ma'am!" he proudly answered. "Good boy! Now what would you say to Grandma?" He lit up and said, "Can I have a cookie?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2006 12:41 PM                        Rated G A young lad and his mother were walking down the street one day when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly, "Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!" His mother immediately hushed him explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people. The next day the same thing happened, "Look mother, there's that bowlegged man!" The mother grabbed the lad by the arm saying, "When we get home you'll be punished for this outburst." When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare, "Go to you room and read this book. You can't come out until you have finished it. Maybe you will learn something from this punishment." Two days later they are walking down the same street when the boy again spots the person he had been making fun of: "Hark! What manner of men are these, Who weareth their legs in parentheses?"  |  IP: Logged

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