* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston,Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail undera train driving under a car driving under an airplane.

* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.

* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.

* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

* Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.

* The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

* No word in the English language rhymes with month.

* The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

* There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

* Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

* Columbia University is the second largest land owner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.

* Cat's urine glows under a black light.

* Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.

* The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

* It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.

* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

* Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

* The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

* Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously

* If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

* Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

* No NFL team which plays it's home games in a domed stadium has ever won
a Superbowl

* The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".* In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down butonly 6 people were injured

* Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.

* One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers -- they saw it as competition. It is not chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

* The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

1970: Wore long hair
2001: Longing for hair

1970: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high.
2001: Sitting around thinking of the perfect high yield mutual fund.

1970: Finding a friend to split the price of a keg.
2001: Finding a friend to take me to have an EKG.

1970: Sitting through sessions of Acid Rock.
2001: Sitting through sessions of Acid Reflux.

1970: Thinking of moving to a real kool place.
2001: Thinking of moving to a real warm place.

1970: News stories of people growing pot.
2001: The reality of growing a pot belly.

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my mother and sister.
2001: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with my grown children.

1970: Trying to look like Richard Roundtree or Ron O'Neal.
2001: Trying NOT to look like Richard Roundtree or Ron O'Neal.

1970: Chewing on seeds and stems.
2001: Chewing on lots of roughage.

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2001: Popping joints, needing those pills.

1970: Noting our president's struggle with Fidel.
2001: Noting our president's struggle with fidelity.

1970: Admiring JACK PAAR.
2001: Joining AARP

1970: Avoiding Killer weed.
2001: Avoiding Weed killer.

1970: Hoping to "get lucky" on a date.
2001: Hoping you won't catch anything from your "lucky" date.

1970: Reading about The Grateful Dead.
2001: Reading about Dr. Kevorkian.

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
001: Getting a new hip joint.

1970: Listening to the Rolling Stones.
2001: Struggling with Kidney stones.

1970: Yelling, "Screw the system!"
001: Reminding yourself to, "Upgrade the damn system!"

970: Throwing the Peace sign.
2001: Watching the Mercedes logo.

1970: Friends who wouldn't get their hair cut
2001: Children begging to get their heads shaved.

970: Talking to friends about taking acid.
2001: Talking to friends about taking antacid.

1970: Proud to be passing the driver's test.
2001: Barely passing the vision test.

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion

(1) The woman goes to the store.

(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.

(4) The man places the meat on the grill.

(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.

(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.

(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

1. Coca-cola was originally green.

2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the USTreasury.

3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)goldenretriever;

4. Dumbest dog: Afghan

5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2

8. Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000

9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong

10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4

12. Portion of US annual rain fall that falls in April: 1/12

13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

15. Estimated percentage of American adults who go on a diet each year: 44%

16. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33

17. Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7

18. Percentage of Americans who say that God has spoken to them:36%

19. Percentage of Americans who regularly attend religious services: 43%

20. City with the highest per capita viewer ship of television evangelists: Washington DC

21. Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%

22. Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50%

23. Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58%

24. Percentage of women who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 85%

25. Number of different family relationships for which Hallmark makes cards: 105

26. Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:$6,400

27. Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

28. Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland or Disney World: 70%

29. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

30. Portion of ice cream sold that is vanilla: 1/3

31. Portion of potatoes sold that are French fried: 1/3

32. Percentage of Americans that eat at McDonalds each day: 7

33. Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90%

34. Percentage of mammal species that are: 3%

35. Number of US states that claim test scores in their elementary schools are above national average: 50%

36. Portion of Harvard students who graduate with honors: 4/5

37. Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7.

38. Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3

39. Only President to remain a bachelor: James Buchanon

40. Only first lady to carry a loaded revolver: Eleanor Roosevelt

41. Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for' Profiles in Courage'

42. Only President awarded a patent: Abe Lincoln, for a system of buoying vessels over shoals

43. Only food that does not spoil: honey

44. Only person to win $64,000 Challenge and $64,000 Question r. Joyce Brothers (subject is boxing)

45. Only bird that can fly backwards: Hummingbird

46. Only continent without reptiles or snakes: Antartica

47. Only animal besides human that can get sunburn: pig

48. Ostriches stick their heads in the sand to look for water.

49. An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.

50. In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.

51. Polar bears are left-handed.

52. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

53. Eskimos never gamble.

54. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

55. The youngest pope was 11 years old.

56. Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.

57. Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.

58. Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.

59. Your nose and ears never stop growing.

60. Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in our solar system combined.

61. Hot water is heavier than cold. 6

2. The parachute was invented by da Vinci in 1515.

63. They have square watermelons in Japan. They stack better.

64. Cream does not weigh as much as milk.

65. Starfish have eight eyes--one at the end of each leg.

66. Iceland consumes more Coca-cola per capita than any other nation.

67. First novel ever written on a typewriter was 'Tom Sawyer.'

68. There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.

69. Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.

70. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

71. Men get hiccups more often than woman.

An Anagram is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging thel etters of another word or phrase. The following examples are quite astounding (although I think someone has too much spare time on their hands).Amazing anagrams:

Dormitory    ==      Dirty Room

Evangelist   ==      Evil's Agent

Desperation  ==      A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code  ==      Here Come Dots

Slot Machines   ==      Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity        ==      Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms    ==      Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness    ==      Genuine Class

Semolina         ==      Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries  ==  Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point   ==      I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes   ==      That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two   ==      Twelve plus one

Contradiction     ==      Accord not in it

The next two are truely really amazing. This well known phrase from Hamlet by Shakespeare:

"To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. "becomes:"

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero,Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."

Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill.

So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed,and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.So, off he goes.

The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change.They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the time table. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus. Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels thru town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following. They walk down the road,and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run,and throws himself -whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again!

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

3. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with..

4. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends.If they're OK, you're it.

6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

7. A truly wise man never plays leap frog with a unicorn.

8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

10. If you are given on open-book exam, you will forget your book.

11. COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as awarning to others.

14. Murphy's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

They put a sign in the window saying:"HELP WANTED.
Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However,the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.

"The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded!

He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job.

"The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid.

Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone.Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did.Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed.It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left.

Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if its hot,sometimes he lets us ride on the tail gate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake.

Scoutmaster Webb wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Webb isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges.When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up.

Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the left over chicken. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.

Love,

Cole

10. Tommy Lee's Camp Kickachickee

9. Lorena Bobbit's Camp Cutaweewee

8. Tanya Harding's Camp Wackaneenee

7. Kenneth Star's Camp Catchacrookee

6. Louis Farakahn's Camp Killawhitey

5. O.J. Simpson's Camp Killachickee

4. Michael Jackson's Camp Wannabewhitey

3. President Clinton's Camp Getahoochie

2. Ellen Degeneres' Camp Lickacoochie

And the number one camp not to send your kid to:

* It's fireproof.

* He's probably just hibernating.

* What does this button do?

* I'm making a citizen's arrest.

* So, you're a cannibal.

* It's probably just a rash.

* Are you sure the power is off?

* Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

* The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

* Pull the pin and count to what?

* Which wire was I supposed to cut?

* I wonder where the mother bear is.

* I've seen this done on TV.

* These are the good kind of mushrooms.

* I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

* Let it down slowly.* Rat poison only kills rats

* Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.

* It's strong enough for both of us.

* This doesn't taste right.

* I can make this light before it changes.

* Nice doggie.

* I can do that with my eyes closed.

* I've done this before.

* Well, we've made it this far.

* That's odd.

* You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?

* Don't be so superstitious.

* Now watch this.

60 California residents put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 Miami residents turn on the heat

45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

40 You can see your breath
California residents shiver uncontrollably
Minnesota residents go swimming

35 Italian cars don't start

32 Water freezes

30 You plan your vacation to Australia

25 Ohio water freezes
California residents weep pitiably
Minnesota residents eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming

20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South

15 French cars don't start Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 American cars don't start

0 Alaska residents put on T-shirts

-10 German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansas residents stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesota residents shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start

-25 Too cold to thinkYou need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30 You plan a two-week hot bath
Swedish cars don't start

-40 California residents disappear
Minnesota residents button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50 Congressional hot air freezes
Alaska residents close the bathroom window

-80 Hell freezes over
Polar bears move South
Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive..

Clones are people two..

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?.

No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning..

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague..

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be..

Think "honk" if you're telepathic..

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts..

I went to a store which said open 24 hours and he was closing. When I asked why he said, "We're open 24 hours, but not in a row.".

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?.

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious..

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?.

Disney World is a people trap operated by a mouse?.

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?.

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?.

* You know what a "burnout" is.

* You owned/operated a 'Trapper Keeper'

* You know what "Psych" means.

* Once, while spending hours in the arcade, you actually lined up quarters on the top panel of the game-to "reserve" your spot.

* You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".

* You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer".

* You can name at least half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack".

* You know who Tina Yothers is.

* You wanted to be a Goonie.

* You felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got in trouble for sex with minors and video taping it, because you liked him.

* You had top-of-the-line Commodore 64s in your jr. high computer lab.

* You know who Max Headroom is.

* You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing.

* You could breakdance, or wish you could.

* You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

* You Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power."

* Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.

* You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

* You can, right now, hum to yourself the theme to 'Inspector Gadget.

'* You wanted to be on Star Search.

* You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.

* You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did.

* You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on its ass, or knew someone who did.

* You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout".

* You HAD to have your MTV.

* You remember when Kramer was on a show called 'Friday's.'

* You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future".

* You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name".

* You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.

* You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.

* You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be.

* You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.

* You own(ed) any 'cassette singles.

'* You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the
moon.

* You remember and/or own any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut. Or any other stupid collection they came out with.

* Poltergeist freaked you out.

* You carried you lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.

* You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

* You know what a Doozer is.

* You wore bike shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.

* You ever had a Swatch Watch.

* You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny

.* You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.

* You know what a "Whammee" is.