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Topic: Are you "out" at work? -> OT Weight Loss
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Tony L. Hernandez
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 158
From: Windsor, CO, USA
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted 09-14-2006 10:00 PM
I'm out as gay everywhere. Family, friends, work and my theaters. Everyone is great about it. My paid job is at an office and the ladies are cool with me. The two theaters in my life are just part time and volunteer. I came out little by little at one of my theaters (city owned) to most the other volunteers and the manager. There is one guy I don't come out and tell, but he knows plain well. The other theater, (private owned) I first came out to the owner who was a very close friend of mine before she died last year and she was so understanding and accepting. I had never come out to the rest of the family, so I told her granddaughter (all of the family I am close friends with) at the begining of last month and she said she and her mom and the rest of the family had already guessed. Incidentally, we are having a big film festival this weekend before we close for the season and I drafted my boyfriend to help...for free. Isn't that what boyfriends are for?!?!? My Manerisms and the way I dress, talk and act are pretty stereotypical of a gay man but my thought process is different, considering I would rather be doing something to benefit my theaters than listening to Brittney Spears. Anyway, I am blessed to have not suffered any persecution for who I am and that I have found my Jared!
~~Tony H.~~ [ 09-15-2006, 02:04 AM: Message edited by: Tony L. Hernandez ]
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Evans A Criswell
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1579
From: Huntsville, AL, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-15-2006 09:51 AM
Dave Williams' last two posts (on the previous page of this thread) pretty well sum up how things were where I grew up, concerning guys having to be masculine to fit in and how it was bad for a boy as a kid to be interested in anything feminine. In the house, I was used to watching my mother do things in the kitchen and in kindergarten, the play area in the back of the classroom at Aragon School in Aragon, GA was separated with the girls' stuff on one side and the boys' stuff on the other side. The girls had all the interesting toys and the kitchen stuff and we didn't and I hated that because that meant I'd never get to go to the other side to explore.
At that age, I found girls more interesting, and did up until the early 80s. I'd say February 3, 1981 was the "halfway point" for me. Even at kindergarten age, I liked girls' clothes and wished I was a girl so I could wear them. I loved nylon and thought it wasn't fair that girls got to choose from so many more fabrics and colors than we did.
Well, my parents' mindset is still in the 1940s and here I am, not interested in sex or even undressing a guy, but I'm definitely totally attracted to guys. I'm the only person I've found like that. I'm like Dave in a lot of ways, and tend to be effeminate in ways, but I'm not capable of being attracted to a female in the way that I'm naturally attracted to guys. I can find a female attractive, but it's not in the same way as when it's a guy I'm attracted to.
There's a girl right now that I'm attracted to, but I'm nervous because I know there is no way I can get really close to her beyond cuddling and affection because my brain just doesn't work with the female body and doesn't understand it. However, when I see a guy I'm attracted to, it sets off something totally different and more intense in my mind. It doesn't give me the desire to have sex, but it makes me want to get close to him, be his friend, and get affectioante or cuddle if he's open to the idea (very few guys are, so I'm very careful about trying to take that step).
Just yesterday afternoon, a guy I saw at a concert (a friend of a friend) came in my office. Oh my God he was cute! I know he's straight and would never want to be anything other than friends, but I hope I'll see him around more. It's hard to describe the warm gooey feeling that went through me when he was around. It's like being in a restaurant and having a cute waiter with a good personality.
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Mark Lensenmayer
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1605
From: Upper Arlington, OH
Registered: Sep 1999
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posted 09-15-2006 01:51 PM
Here's a link, Brad:
German Victim Will Found
quote: The apparent willing victim in the German cannibal murder left a will that indicates that he was fully aware of the fate that awaited him, according to investigators.
Police investigating the horrific cannibal murder case in Germany have revealed that Bernd Juergen B, the alleged willing participant and victim in the crime, wrote his will immediately before he met his murderer.
The legal document and the video tape that is rumored to show both Bernd Juergen B and the perpetrator eating the victim's flesh and the subsequent murder support suggestions that victim and killer both engaged in consensual cannibalism.
Legal document suggests victim went to death willingly
According to police reports Bernd Juergen B wrote out his will and had it officially recognized by a notary on the morning of his disappearance March 9, 2001. In the will, he left the bulk of his estate including a lavish penthouse apartment and his collection of expensive computer equipment to his live-in partner, a man named Rene.
The German daily Berliner Morgenpost reports that Rene knew nothing of the victim's plans and discovered the will only after Bernd Juergen B was reported missing. The victim reportedly sold most of his other belongings, including a sports car just before his disappearance.
Bernd Juergen B had told his boss at Siemens he was taking that Friday off "to attend to some personal matters". He was last seen at a subway station in Berlin when co-workers caught sight of him. The German police believe the victim then traveled 300 kilometers from Berlin to the alleged murderer's rambling half-timbered house near Kassel with several thousand euro in cash and his passport.
The 42-year-old victim, a computer chip developer at Siemens Corporation in Berlin, willingly allowed himself to be led to the slaughter, police said.
Evidence shows that both men consented to cannibalism
"The victim appeared to be fully aware of the situation," an investigator said. "Videotape material definitely shows both him and the suspect engaged in eating his own flesh prior to his death." Police officers who have been studying the evidence, including the video made by the suspect of the final moments of his victim's life, were said to be undergoing psychiatric counseling. An official statement on Friday said the video shows the victim willingly allowed himself to be castrated before both men engaged in eating his severed flesh.
After murdering the victim, the killer, only identified as Armin M, apparently removed body parts for consumption and buried the rest. During a search of the killer's home, police found frozen human flesh and skeletal remains, and a cellar which had been renovated into a makeshift slaughterhouse, complete with trough drains and meat hooks.
Police used diggers to unearth body parts on the grounds of Armin M's sprawling 17th Century estate in the idyllic central German town of Rotenburg an der Fulda. Police have found no indications that more than one person's remains had been disposed of on the estate.
Adverts for willing victims led police to killer
Authorities filed murder charges against the reclusive computer systems expert on Thursday. The 41-year-old suspect admitted to investigators that he had videotaped himself killing the man who he had met via a gay Internet chat room after the victim responded to one of 80 adverts that read: 'Gay male seeks hunks 18-30 to slaughter.' Both men were computer experts and were both described as 'Internet addicts' by colleagues.
It was revealed on Friday that a chat room user tipped Police off to the existence of Armin M's grisly adverts. Investigators now know of at least five respondents to the ad, in addition to the undercover officers who answered it and quickly determined it was meant literally.
Neighbors describe killer as 'a pleasant and polite man'
Neighbors describe the murder suspect as a pleasant and polite man who kept to himself. He served in the German armed forces as a non- commissioned officer in ordinance for 12 years where was described as an amiable and conscientious military man.
After leaving the military in 1991, Armin M trained as a computer technician and until recently had a job with a software firm in the Rhine Valley city of Karlsruhe, 30km south of Rotenburg. He lived with his mother in the 17th Century half-timbered manor house, staying on there after her death three years ago.
"He was a mama's boy," a neighbor told reporters. "He was totally fixated on his mother, who he said never let him date girls. After she died, he began to thaw out."
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Chad Souder
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 962
From: Waterloo, IA, USA
Registered: Feb 2000
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posted 09-15-2006 05:29 PM
Sorry, Jim, I kind of tried to bait you. I apologize. The reason I asked about limits is that everyone agrees there should be limits somewhere; it just varies where people draw the line. I would think most people involved in this forum are against bestiality or child molestation. You mention "consensual" but R. Kelly and Roman Polanski supposedly had consensual sex with very young people. It is also common in some other countries for children to be prostitutes, but I sincerely hope none of us are in favor of that practice.
My point is that there are definitely limits placed on sex by society and differing definitions of the word adult. Why is it that if someone is opposed to same-sex relationships they are automatically wrong and labeled an insensitive homophobe asshole? Why is it so fun to accuse people of being "in the closet" when they have anti-gay opinions?
I think there is a HUGE difference between prejudice and discrimination. Everyone, and I mean each and every single one of us, is prejudiced against some group. If you say you are not, you are lying. It may be prejudice against a race, sexual orientation, religion, political affiliation, or whatever, but we all have preconceived opinions about certain groups. This does not, however, mean we are all discriminatory. I believe it is completely possible and perfectly acceptable for someone to hold a prejudice about a part of a co-workers life while not discriminating against them in the workplace. Personal has to be separated as much as possible from work, although there is inevitably some overlap. Plenty of people have the ability to shut off a personal belief in the interest of business.
Lastly, I have an honest question to ask. I am not trying to stir anything up here; I just would like to hear what people have to say. Why is the word "pride" so often associated with homosexuality? Way back when, Christopher started this thread by stating that the theatre was a great business to be a proud homosexual in. There have been many references to gay pride events which take place world-wide. If being gay is not a choice, as so many have taken time to reiterate, then how can you be proud? I've always thought pride was sort of a self-fulfilling emotion anyway, but I don't think one can be proud of something they did not choose. Just curious, nothing nasty intended.
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