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Author Topic: Women Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-03-2003 08:56 AM                        Rated G B.B. . . Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-03-2003 03:28 PM                        Rated G Michele The Ladies at Lunch Mary: I'm starting to question my sexuality. Jill: Why is that? Mary: Two of my exes are dating each other! !  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-03-2003 08:19 PM                        Rated G Michele Two stockbrokers went to lunch. The one said to the other,"Let's relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market for once." "Good idea. Let's talk about women." "Okay... common or preferred?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-03-2003 08:21 PM                        Rated PG Tammy . . . Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel? It's for the Christmas period.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-05-2003 10:12 AM                        Rated PG Michele . . . Organizers of 'National Orgasm Week' were disappointed to learn that the majority of women surveyed just pretended to celebrate.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-08-2003 02:53 PM                        Rated G Michele The Ladies at Lunch Jill: I don't know what to think of medical research these days. Mary: What do you mean? Jill: Who would believe they'd come up with a cure for hair loss and limp penises before they can find a cure for cancer?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2003 08:08 AM                        Rated G Michele "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate, Shirley. "Terrible!" Shirley answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2003 09:07 AM                        Rated G Michele Overheard from the "Ladies At Lunch" crowd in an upscale eating establishment in D.C.... "T'was said that the wife of a Washington Post reporter, having heard strange noises in the middle of the night, tried to wake up her husband and whispered, 'I think there's a thief in the house!' The response she got was a very sleepy, 'No doubt, and there's more than a handful in the Senate, too.'"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2003 11:26 AM                        Rated G The Ladies at Lunch Mary: I am NOT too tall for the average man.I am NOT unattractive to the opposite sex.I am NOT overweight.I do NOT mind being liked for my boobs instead of my brain. Jill: Very good, Cleopatra, Queen of Denial!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2004 07:53 AM                        Rated G Michele "Are you and Larry serious?" the one girl asked her friend while they were talking over cocktails. "We're still a little short of a meeting of the minds." she replied. "I want a big, old-fashioned June wedding, and he wants a quickie in the back seat."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2004 08:01 AM                        Rated G Michele Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walks a young woman with a low cut blouse that revealed a rose tattooed on one breast. One lady leaned over to the other and said,"She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll be wearing a long stemmed rose in a hanging basket."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2004 07:36 PM                        Rated PG Denny in Yonkers Women Bashing I married Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was Always. The last fight was my fault.My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" In the beginning,God created earth and rested.Then God created man and rested.Then God created woman.Since then,neither God nor man has rested. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law. Young Son:Is it true,Dad,I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country,son. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. First guy (proudly):"My wife's an angel! Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." A little boy asked his father,"Daddy,how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!" Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-08-2004 01:23 PM                        Rated PG The Ladies at Lunch Jill: What did you usually get for Christmas when you were married or going with someone? Mary: I usually got SCREWED!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-12-2004 05:28 PM                        Rated G What's the difference between a woman's hand and hot water? . . . . . . . . . . . Hot water makes a meat tender,while a woman's hand makes it hard.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-12-2004 05:28 PM                        Rated X What's the difference between a woman's hand and hot water? . . . . . . . . . . . Hot water makes a meat tender,while a woman's hand makes it hard.  |  IP: Logged

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