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Author Topic: Animals Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-25-2006 07:56 AM                        Rated G Lorraine One hectic day I handed a new-client file to Sam, who was temporarily filling in for one of our vacationing veterinarians. He read the file and looked up in surprise. "This is a case I worked on at another clinic," he told me. "Oh, they just want a second opinion," I tried to explain. "I know," he replied with a grin. "But what they'll get is my second opinion."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:04 PM                        Rated G Lorraine A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?", to which the lady replied "Yes". "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing".  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2006 02:51 PM                        Rated G A traveling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes. The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 races and won over $5 million dollars. I keep my trophies in the barn." The salesman computed the value of having a talking horse, found the horse's owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal. "Aw, you don't want that horse," said the farmer. "Yes I do," said the salesman, "and I'll give you $100,000 for the horse." Recognizing a good deal, the farmer said without hesitation, "He's yours." While he wrote out his check, the salesman asked, "By the way, why wouldn't I want your horse?" "Because," said the farmer, "he's a liar - he hasn't won a race in his life."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-28-2006 07:08 AM                        Rated G Quirk "They say a dog is man's best friend, but I don't buy it. How many of your friends have you had neutered?" -Larry Reeb  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-29-2006 09:00 AM                        Rated G Spaz Recognizing Your Cat's Changing Needs As a general rule, when a cat turns 7, it is considered an older cat and at risk for developing age-related health problems. Though a cat may not show signs of aging, it is important to be aware of your cat's changing needs to help prevent disease and help ensure your cat lives a full and active life. You may notice that your cat naps more frequently and is gaining weight due to inactivity or changing dietary needs. On the other hand, your cat may continue to behave like a kitten by stalking, pouncing and toy chasing. An owner may not realize a cat is getting older until they see changes in activity level and movement. Factors that contribute to a longer life span -- proper nutrition, health and dental care -- also help control some of the health problems that beset an older cat. Along with watching for changes in your cat, you should be sure to take your cat for a geriatric wellness examination by the time it turns 7 years old.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-29-2006 09:27 AM                        Rated G B.B. One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. At court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor do I ever plan on it. Tell me... What did it taste like?" The man answered after a moment of thought, "Well, it tasted like a cross between whooping crane and spotted owl!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-29-2006 09:28 AM                        Rated G Josie SEVEN CLUES THAT YOUR DOG MIGHT BE IN CHARGE 1. You bought a bigger bed so that the dog could have more leg room. 2. You never forget to kiss your dog before you leave the house: the same, however, cannot be said of your disgruntled spouse. 3. You introduce yourself to every dog you meet as "(Your dog's name)'s mommy/daddy." 4. Your dog's wardrobe is as large as yours. 5. You let your dog have canine guests over; in fact, you insist that he socializes. 6. You tell your dog secrets you wouldn't dare tell your spouse. 7. You watch TV sitting on the floor, so that the dog can sit on the couch behind you & rest his chin on your shoulder for a good view.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-31-2006 01:33 PM                        Rated G LEWIS-THE CRAZY CAT-TERRORIZES TOWN FAIRFIELD, Conn. (March 29)- Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis. Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer. "He looks like Felix the Cat and has six toes on each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. "They are formidable weapons." The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car. Some of those who were bitten and scratched ended up seeking treatment at area hospitals. Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield. In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home. Solveira also arrested the cat's owner, Ruth Cisero, charging her with failing to comply with the restraining order and reckless endangerment.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-31-2006 01:39 PM                        Rated G B.B. All I Need to Learn about Life I learned from the Easter Bunny! Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Walk softly and carry a big carrot. Everyone needs a friend who is all ears. There's no such thing as too much candy. All work and no play can make you a basket case. A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day. Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits. Some body parts should be floppy. Keep you paws off other people's jellybeans. Good things come in small-sugarcoated packages. The grass is greener in someone else's basket. An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare. To show your true colors you have to come out of the shell. The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-01-2006 10:07 AM                        Rated G B.B. "Dogs lick you because they love you - cats lick you because you had chicken for dinner."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-01-2006 11:40 AM                        Rated G All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From a Cow * Wake up in a happy mooo-d. * Don't cry over spilled milk. * When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste! * The grass is green on the other side of the fence. * Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth! * It's better to be seen and not herd. * Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives. * Never take any bull from anybody. * Always let them know who's the bossy. * Stepping on cowpies brings good luck. * Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement. * Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-05-2006 01:00 PM                        Rated G Spaz Why do cats' eyes contract to a vertical slit? Cats evolved to be nocturnal hunters, and they can see well in very dim light. Because their eyes are so sensitive to light, cats need precise control over the amount of light reaching their eyes. Being able to reduce the pupils to slits rather than tiny circles gives the cat greater and more accurate control of how much light enters their eyes; this ability is particular- ly important in bright sunlight. Vertical slits also have an advantage over horizontal slits. Because the cat's eyelids close at right angles to the vertical pupil, the cat can reduce the amount of light even further by bringing its eyelids closer and closer together. This combination of the vertical slits of the pupils and the horizontal slits of the eyelids, allows the cat to make the most delicate adjustments of the light reaching its eye compared to any other animal. The pupils of the lion are an interesting comparison. The lion hunts by day, not by night as the cat does. The lion does not have the same sensitivity to light as the cat. And the lion's eyes contract -- like ours do -- to tiny circles, not vertical slits.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-05-2006 01:03 PM                        Rated G Spaz Why A "Cat" Is Called A "Cat" The English word "cat" is very similar to the word used for our feline pets in other languages spoken in Europe and around the Mediterranean. The table below lists the word for cat and the language: Kat Dutch chat French Katze German gatta Greek kottur Icelandic gatto Italian qattus Maltean katt Norwegian kot Polish gato Spanish katt Swedish Clearly "cat" is an ancient word that spread into many regions from a single source. The source appears to be Arabic because the oldest use of "cat" is in North Africa where the term is "quttah". A few other terms relating to cats originate from the Mediterranean. One is the word "tabby", which is derived from the Turkish word "utabi". And the general word for a cat in Turkey is "kedi", which may be the ancestor term for the English word "kitty".  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-06-2006 01:14 PM                        Rated G Spaz No Cats Allowed Do you have mild allergic symptoms related to your cat? Consider not allowing your cat access to your bedroom and running an air filter at all times. This may significantly reduce allergic symptoms.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-06-2006 01:16 PM                        Rated G Quirk "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." --Dereke Bruce  |  IP: Logged

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