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Author Topic: Education Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-27-2005 03:05 PM                        Rated G Judy One of my jobs as a homeroom teacher is to record the lock combinations for the students' lockers. I needed one last combination to complete the list for my class, but that student couldn't remember the last digit in his number. He said the information was on the back of his lock, which was on his locker. I told him that wasn't a good place for it; anyone could access the combination and get into his locker. There was nothing to steal, he blithely informed me before he went to check the combination. He returned looking sheepish. His lock had been stolen.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-28-2005 02:46 PM                        Rated G A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old University of Notre Dame lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups." "Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-01-2005 10:13 AM                        Rated G When I was in eleventh grade, my family moved to the country from Philly. Although my new school's ethnic makeup was very different from the multicultural atmosphere I was used to, I thought I fit in quite well. One day, however, I was surprised when a student remarked that I had an accent and asked, "Are you an exchange student?" "Yes," I replied, "I'm from the city."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-01-2005 03:19 PM                        Rated G My High-School English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the Valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: "Be Mine." The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: "Thank you, but it's still Be Mine-Us."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-02-2005 06:59 AM                        Rated G He was bent over his book intently, pencil clutched tightly in his hand. "Ah," he sighed, his eyes misting as he recalled the past. "I remember the good old days. Kindergarten was such fun," my grandson announced as he continued working on his first grade homework.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-03-2005 12:24 PM                        Rated G The letter from my daughter, in her first year at college, reminded me to take her a hamper of "good food" on my next visit. "You know, Dad," she wrote, "the kind of stuff I like. All they have here is breakfast, lunch and dinner."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-03-2005 12:30 PM                        Rated G One of my classmates at the Temple University struggled to complete a major term paper on time. He had selected a topic that required considerable background research, and he was running out of time to present the results in a polished form. When he finally turned his paper in, past the deadline, it was diffuse and longer than the number of pages assigned. "Why did you write such a long paper?" asked the professor. "Because I didn't have enough time to write a short one," the student replied.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-04-2005 08:13 AM                        Rated G The teacher was telling the class about plants that have the word "dog" in front of them: dogrose, dogwood, dog violet. She asked the class if they could name another flower with the prefix "dog." Steven raised his hand and said, "Sure, Miss Jones,a 'collie'flower!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-06-2005 09:46 AM                        Rated G The mathematics teacher saw that Joey wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Joey! What are 6, 9, 28 and 44? Joey quickly replied, "Sky One, The Disney Channel, Wrestling and Cartoon Network!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-06-2005 04:39 PM                        Rated G Boy: I think my teacher loves me! Girl: Why? Boy: She keeps putting little kisses (x) by my math homework.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-07-2005 11:43 AM                        Rated G I asked my music-history class at Villanova University the question, "What is music?" I introduced the subject by showing a video in which the American composer John Cage described his silent piano composition, 4'33"- so named because it was four minutes 33 seconds long. After composing it, he erased the notes from his score as a way of compelling others to think critically about what they consider "music." I was amused by one student's submission. She wrote a five-page essay, and then erased every word with white-out.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-10-2005 10:27 AM                        Rated G I was helping out with registration at the high school for adults where I teach. A man came in to register for courses that semester. "Are you a new student to this school or have you been here before?" I asked. "I'm a returning student," he answered. "So you were here last semester?" I asked. "Oh, no," he said, confused. "I was here this morning."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-11-2005 10:50 AM                        Rated G "The first thing I did after being hired as the director of learning technology at a high school was to change the sign outside my door -- the one that had my name followed by the acronym D.O.L.T."  |  IP: Logged Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 11-11-2005 01:41 PM                        Rated G... A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, “Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?” She replied, “He's probably playing golf with his friends.”  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-13-2005 09:38 PM                        Rated G A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." Then a third boy piped up, "In the bathroom we have a flat, square box with numbers on it. Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams,'OH MY GOD!!!'"  |  IP: Logged

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