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Author Topic: Education Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2005 09:49 PM                        Rated G Andrew I have always been amazed by the high caliber of people who choose the teaching profession, a career without rank, riches, or fame.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-10-2005 07:58 AM                        Rated G Teacher: "Did you wake up grouchy this morning, young man?" Alex: "No, Dad and I let her sleep."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-11-2005 08:16 PM                        Rated G B.B. Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all human kind. Dear Hudson Middle School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Hudson Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless your for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a million pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said, "Drop dead!" Thanks again! Sincerely, Edna  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-14-2005 09:01 AM                        Rated G During the time I worked for the Board of Health, I taught dental health education to elementary-school children. In one second grade class, I explained that the inside of a tooth contains blood and nerves and asked if someone could tell me what nerves were. A little girl raised her hand. "Nerves are when you are driving on the highway at night when it's raining and you can't see the road!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-14-2005 09:15 AM                        Rated G Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were keen to understand why it had ended so quickly. "Well," said the general, "we had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was a special reserve unit made up of lawyers and accountants. When the time came we ordered them to charge, and boy did they know how to charge."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-16-2005 09:05 AM                        Rated G Lorraine The school kitchen was in shambles when my son, Jay, went back to pick up his Aunt Bernadette, who had co-ordinated the supper preparations for a fund-raiser. To speed up their departure, Jay, on his own initiative, began to clean everything in sight. When Bernadette went into the kitchen Jay was using, one of eight mini-kitchens in the school, she was touched by his thoughtfulness. There was a dot of different colored paint on each of the utensils, she explained to him, marked so that they'd be properly stored in the matching-colored kitchen. Jay sheepishly turned from the sink, a piece of fine steel wool in his hand which he'd been using to methodically scrub off the paint spots on all the utensils.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-18-2005 05:07 PM                        Rated G Our industrial-arts class was working on an intricate wooden project. One of the students, tape measure in hand, huddled over a band saw. Staring at his project with a frustrated look, he exclaimed, "I've cut it twice already, and it's still too short!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-19-2005 11:48 AM                        Rated G B.B. High School Student Reasoning. The more we study, the more we know, The more we know, the more we forget. The more we forget, the less we know, The less we know, the less we forget. The less we forget, the more we know. Why study?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-04-2006 04:24 PM                        Rated G Michele While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked me how to spell the word "piranha." I told him I was unsure. To my delight, he went to the dictionary to solve his problem. That's when I overheard another pupil say to him, "Why bother to look it up? She doesn't know how to spell it anyway." [ 01-07-2006, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: Bob Maar ]  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-07-2006 11:31 AM                        Rated G Lulu Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-07-2006 11:39 AM                        Rated G B.B. Lake Superior State University has once again issued its list of words and phrases that should be banned from the English language. for 2006 ... here are some... HUNKER DOWN – To brace oneself, in anticipation of media onslaught. Trotted out in reports about everything from politics to hurricanes. PERSON OF INTEREST – Found within the context of legal commentary, but seldom encountered at cocktail parties. “People with guns want to talk with you.” BREAKING NEWS – Once it stopped presses. Now it's a lower- intestinal condition brought about by eating dinner during newscasts. “Now they have to interrupt my supper to tell me that Katie Holmes is pregnant.” DESIGNER BREED – Many nominators consider this a bastardization of dog breeding. It may be a good line to use on angry neighbors when an un-neutered dog escapes. “When you mate a miniature schnauzer to a toy poodle, it's not a ‘Schnoodle,' it's a mongrel..." FEMA – Dedicated to the memory of a great federal agency consigned to the ash heap of parody. “If they don't do anything, we don't need their acronym.” PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU! – Shouldn't this really read "pass the markup along to you?" 97% FAT FREE – Enough with the delusions. They're saying it still has 3% fat. Get over it. GIT-ER-DONE – (Any of its variations) It's overdone. “There's no escaping it. “Please tell me when we're done with this one.” HOLIDAY TREE – Many salvoes were fired during this past season's “war on Christmas.” At the risk of jumping into the breach, the committee feels that “Holiday tree” is a silly name for what most folks hold as a Christmas tree, no matter your preference of religion.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-08-2006 06:42 AM                        Rated G Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful. Mother: "Really?" Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell them!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-08-2006 07:21 AM                        Rated G Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time... "Class," said he, "My name begins with the letter `M' and I pick up things.... What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-10-2006 06:50 AM                        Rated G Chris Billy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet, and so on. When the first day came, Billy eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school. The next morning when his mother woke him up, he asked, "What for?" She told him it was time to get ready for school. "What?" he asked. "Again?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-11-2006 08:26 AM                        Rated G A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died. "Now," he said,” what do you learn from this?" An eager student gave his answer. "Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."  |  IP: Logged

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