"To enter life by way of the vagina is as good a way as any."

"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble."

"I was so naive as a kid. I used to sneak behind the barn
and do nothing."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I, myself, prefer to laugh since there is less cleaning up to do afterwards."

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

--Bill Cosby

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

"When you cannot pray as you would, pray as you can."

"Live so that your friends can defend you, but never have to."

"I like women's dresses that are cut to see level."

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

"Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great."

"Winning isn't everything. Wanting to win is."

"Bill Clinton is now saying that he is sorry that he did not get
Osama bin Laden – he is also sorry he didn’t get Catherine Zeta
Jones, Sharon Stone and the Dixie Chicks."

"The Russian space program has kicked out Lance Bass from their
training program for late payments. In his place the Russians are
going to send up a cargo box. In a related story N’Sync has also
replaced Lance Bass with a cargo box."