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Author Topic: True Stories Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-24-2005 10:27 AM                        Rated G Maggie My seven-year-old son had lost his second tooth during the night. My wife and I woke up early Saturday morning to his devastating news that it was nowhere to be found and a visit from the Tooth Fairy was in jeopardy. Between the sobs, we managed to obtain a rather lengthy explanation of his misfortune and the endless theories as to the whereabouts of the lost front tooth. "Well, Jason," my wife explained, winking to me on the sly, "surely the Tooth Fairy would understand if you wrote her a note explaining what happened." The tears were dried, and he wandered off to compose his letter. At two o'clock the following morning, as I tiptoed into his room with the expected two dollars, I found a small three-by-five-inch piece of paper pierced by the end of a coat hook beside his bed. It read simply: "Tooth lost. Please pay."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-01-2005 07:26 AM                        Rated G George Struggling through the freshly fallen snow, I passed a lady in her car, hopelessly stuck. A few steps past her driveway, I remembered a young stranger who had helped me once under similar circumstances. I turned back. When the car was free, I waved off her thanks and hurried on to work. A few months later, on my third trip to the bank about a loan, I was ushered into the manager's office. There, sitting behind the desk, was the lady I had helped. She had just been hired as a special loans officer and was temporarily filling in for the manager. My application was approved.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-01-2005 10:17 AM                        Rated G Sweet Caroline At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer whale, but he wouldn't tell us why. No amount of discussion could get him to change his mind. Later, when we got home, we discovered the reason for his reluctance. An aunt had told him how exciting the show would be because "They choose children from the audience to feed Shamu."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-02-2005 09:25 AM                        Rated G Beverly It wasn't unusual that my husband was still asleep when I got ready for work. He often has weekdays off. I went about my daily routine in a hurry because I was later than usual. I grabbed my newspaper to read at lunch and ran out the door. Traffic was exceptionally light, and I made great time. On arrival at the office, I prepared the coffee for the sales force and then started to work. An hour went by before I realized the phone hadn't rung once. Just then it did. "Honey," my husband said, "I didn't know you were working today." "What do you mean?" I said. "I work every day." He started to laugh. "On Sunday?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-10-2005 11:18 AM                        Rated G Dennis Three teenage girls in Burnaby,Canada,just couldn't contain their craving for chocolate,so they decided to rob a gas station just for the candy. The three brandished bear spray and a metal pipe and fled with "a fistful" of chocolate bars,the Vancouver Province reported. "Robbery is not funny," said Burnaby RCMP Cpl.Pierre Lemaitre. "It's just incredible.They wanted chocolate.That's it.I'm serious.No money was taken.It was just, 'Gimme the chocolate.' I've seen a lot,and I haven't seen one like this before." Police said after the girls walked into the station,one of them displayed a metal pipe protruding from the back of her pants, while another held a can of bear spray. "They told the clerk they had weapons," Lemaitre said."They threatened him menacingly.There was no doubt in the clerk's mind that they meant business." Two suspects,ages 16 and 17,were later arrested,and metal pipes seized.Police were looking for the third suspect.Authorities don't believe they will be able to recover the stolen chocolate.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-10-2005 11:21 AM                        Rated PG Michele In 1976, a twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was crossing the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a taxi and flung over its roof. The taxi drove away and, as Finnegan lay stunned in the road, another car ran into him, rolling him into the gutter. It too drove on. As a knot of gawkers gathered to examine the magnetic Irishman, a delivery van plowed through the crowd, leaving in its wake three injured bystanders and an even more battered Bob Finnegan. When a fourth vehicle came along, the crowd wisely scattered and only one person was hit-Bob Finnegan. In the space of two minutes Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg, and other assorted injuries. Hospital officials said he would recover. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was guiding his car at a snail's pace near the center of the road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized with severe head injuries. Their cars weren't scratched. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself. When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife were reconciled.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-12-2005 06:04 AM                        Rated G Lorraine My sister-in-law Angie and I owned a small wholesale floral business. As well as having major suppliers, we also dealt with hobbyists who grew flowers on their windowsills and in small greenhouses. Sometimes our fragile orchids would die in transit, and, as they were usually ordered for special occasions, we'd be in a panic to replace them. Usually a specific colour would have been requested, such as white with a purple centre (which is also called a throat) or yellow with a mauve throat. One of our suppliers was a doctor who grew Cattleya (cats) and Phalaenopsis (phals) orchids as a hobby. The doctor had given us permission to call him at his work if we ever needed a quick replacement, and one day we did. He told us later that as he was just finishing with a patient, his receptionist stuck her head around the corner. "Angie's on the phone," she said. "The Cat with the yellow throat died. Do we have another?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-12-2005 06:16 AM                        Rated G Alan While camping up the Lake District, I woke up one morning in the middle of a field with a thumb that was twice normal size, I later found out I'd broke it and tore the tendons. No wonder it hurt picking a pint up with it, so I ended up drinking with my left-hand.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-12-2005 12:18 PM                        Rated G Ed in Aurora Guaranteed to make you smile..... especially since it's a true story. On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to earth and heard by millions. But just before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky." Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky... statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions,following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbour's yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbours were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Sex! You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-16-2005 09:21 AM                        Rated G Lorraine A graduate of our school had extolled the virtues and benefits of jogging as a way to reduce stress. She faithfully followed a strict running regimen as a student in our program. Thinking I might be able to reduce some of my own stress, I took her advice and started running. After a few months, I entered my first marathon. When the race times were posted, I was dismayed to discover that I wasn't as fast as I had hoped. However, I noted that my graduate friend had also run and had only been a few seconds faster. I went home feeling that I wasn't that far behind a seasoned veteran. I ran into my friend after not having seen her for some time. The reason for our close race times was apparent. She was eight months pregnant.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-17-2005 09:27 AM                        Rated G Evelyn Finding no size 11 shoes in our small town to complement my daughter Rosalyn's graduation gown, we drove to the nearest city three hours away. We spent most of the day in and out of countless shops without finding anything suitable. I told Rosalyn that perhaps we should say a short prayer. Then we looked up and spotted a rack of shoes outside a store we hadn't noticed before. We hurried in and finally found the perfect pair of shoes! We were so delighted we decided to stop at my sister's home in the city to share our happy story. "What store were you in?" she asked. I hadn't paid any attention while we were there, so I dug out the sales slip. It read "Lord's Shoes."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-22-2005 12:41 PM                        Rated G Michele DUBLIN, Ireland - An ambulance received a boot while waiting to take a seriously injured man to the hospital. The incident occurred at the Dublin International Airport when the police there used the boot, known as a clamp in Ireland, to enforce the no-parking policy outside the airport's arrivals entrance. The ambulance was parked in a section that is clearly reserved for emergency vehicles. To make matters worse, the paramedics had to pay for the boot's removal with their own money because police wouldn't accept the ambulance company's credit card. According to a spokeswoman for the Dublin Airport authority the situation was "deeply regrettable," but the vehicle was parked in the reserved space for over 30 minutes when it's for "life or death cases." Hello, it's an ambulance!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-23-2005 10:11 AM                        Rated G Lorraine One of the soloists who was to sing at our wedding was unable to because she developed laryngitis the day before.Still,we wanted to acknowledge all her time and effort preparing, and asked the emcee to thank her at the reception-which he did: "Lawrence and Renee would also like to give special thanks to Mrs. Alexander for not singing."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-23-2005 10:13 AM                        Rated G George At the start of every Mass, the priest would make the sign of the cross, followed as usual by the entrance song and the blessing, after which the congregation responded,"And also with you." One Sunday, after making the sign of the cross, our priest appeared to be having difficulty with the sound system during the singing of the entrance hymn. At the conclusion of the song, the priest said, "There seems to be something wrong with the mike." The congregation automatically responded,"And also with you."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-09-2005 09:49 AM                        Rated G Brian in San Francisco A car was involved in an accident. As one might expect,a large crowd gathered.A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story,pushed and struggled to get near the car. Being a clever sort,he started shouting loudly,"Let me through! Let me through please! I am the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him.Lying in front of the car was a donkey.  |  IP: Logged

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