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Topic: Old Men
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 06-04-2003 10:52 AM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
A father is a person who is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic.He growls when he feels good and laughs very loud when he is scared half-to-death.
A father never feels entirely worthy of the worship in a child's
eyes.He is never quite the hero his daughter thinks.Never quite
the man his son believes him to be.And this worries him
sometimes.(So he works too hard to try to smooth the rough places in the road of those of his own who will follow him.)
A father is a person who goes to war sometimes ...and would run
the other way except that war is part of his only important job in his life,(which is making the world better for his child than it has been for him).
Fathers grow older faster than people,because they,in other
wars,have to stand at the train station and wave goodbye to the
uniform that climbs on board.
And,while mothers cry where it shows,fathers stand and beam --
outside -- and die inside.
Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men,who aren't
nearly good enough,so that they can have children that are
smarter than anybody's.
Fathers fight dragons almost daily.They hurry away from the
breakfast table,off to the arena which is sometimes called an
office or a workshop.There, with callused hands, hey tackle the
dragon with three heads;Weariness,Works,and Monotony.And they
never quite win the fight,but they never give up.
Knights in shining armor; fathers in shiny trousers.There's
little difference as they march away each workday.
I don't know where a father goes when he dies,but I've an idea
that,after a good rest,wherever it is,he won't just sit on a
cloud and wait for the girl he's loved and the children she bore.
He'll be busy there too -- repairing the stars,oiling the gates, improving the streets,smoothing the way.
~by Paul Harvey~
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 06-25-2003 06:21 AM
Rated PG Michele
Three men met at a party, and it wasn't long until the conversation got around to their line of work and what kind of cars they drove.
"I'm a veterinarian," said the first fellow, "so, naturally, I drive a white Vette."
As they smiled and nodded, the second man said, "I own a sign company, so I drive a purple Neon."
Now the third guy was suddenly quiet until he was egged on by the other two.
"Well", he finally said, "I'm a proctologist... and I have a brown Probe." ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bill Gabel
Film God
Posts: 3873
From: Technicolor / Postworks NY, USA
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted 07-24-2003 10:44 AM
On the first day, God created the cow Rated G
God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed.
On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." Monkey said, "how boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed, again.
On the fourth day, God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. tell you what, I'll take my twenty years, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makeseighty, okay?"
"Okay, said God. "Youve got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
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