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Author
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Topic: Miscellaneous - Part Three
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-06-2006 10:35 AM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif) CHris
Were graham crackers really invented to "cure the dread fever of lust?"
In some ways, yes.
The graham cracker originated in the United States by Rev. Sylvester Graham, a Presbyterian minister, in the early 1800s as a "health food."
Graham felt excessive carnal exercise would cause indigestion, headache, feebleness of circulation, pulmonary consumption, spinal diseases, epilepsy, insanity, and early death of offspring, among other things.
But how were the crackers supposed to help?
His original "Graham bread" was the centerpiece of a vegetarian diet he was convinced would suppress such carnal urges.
He also warned that ketchup and mustard caused insanity.
He gained many followers, who set up boardinghouses in cities including New York and Boston, where his vegetarian diet was observed.
Did people take to his ideas quickly?
Now really. While Graham attracted a fair number of followers, who opened Graham boardinghouses in New York and Boston where his dietary regimen was observed, most people regarded him as a nut.
He was assaulted by mobs on at least three occasions, once by butchers and bakers who thought he was going to drive them out of business.
He was cranky and aloof and alienated even those who admired him, so much so that he gave up the lecture business in 1839 and lived out the last years of his life in relative obscurity.
Were Graham's ideas anything but wacky quackery?
Actually, in many important respects Graham's ideas were rather sound. Although his ideas regarding sex would be considered by many to be "Puritan," many of his other ideas about health were sound.
He advocated daily toothbrushing, once considered a revolutionary idea, as well as fresh air, regular bathing, exercise, and seven hours of sleep.
During an era of recurring cholera epidemics he urged people to drink pure water.
How about his dietary ideas?
Interestingly, the diet Graham recommended was considerably healthier than the one Americans were eating at the time, or for that matter eat today. He railed against commercial bakers who used refined flour devoid of dietary fiber. He urged the consumption of fresh fruits, vegetables, grains, and seeds. Strictly verboten were fat, salt, sugar, tobacco, alcohol, and stimulants.
Modern dieticians aren't as strongly opposed to meat as he was (although they'd certainly advise fish and poultry rather than red meat), and they'd go easy on the fat- and cholesterol-laden milk, cheese, and eggs he recommended.
But by and large "the prophet of bran bread and pumpkins" was ahead of his time. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-06-2006 12:08 PM
Rated G Judi
Living In The Past
Another year has passed and we're all a little older. Last summer felt much hotter and last winter so much colder. I wrack my brain for happy thoughts, to put down on my pad, But lots of things that come to mind just make me kind of sad.
There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand about "Living in the Past." We used to go to weddings, football games and brunches. Now we go to funeral homes, and after-funeral lunches.
We used to have hangovers, from parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches to wile the night away. We used to go out dining, and couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, come home and take a pill.
We used to often travel to places near and far. Now we get a sore rear end from riding in the car. We used to go out shopping for new clothing at the mall Now we never bother...all the sizes are too small.
Some used to go to nightclubs and drink a little booze. Now we stay at home at night and watch the evening news. That, my friend is how life is, and now my tale is told. So, enjoy each day and live it up...before you get too old!
~ Author Unknown
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-07-2006 11:35 AM
Rated G B.B.
"Rules Of Bureaucracy"
1. Preserve thyself.
2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.
3. A penny saved is an oversight.
4. Information deteriorates upward.
5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%.
6. Experience is what you get just after you need it.
7. For any given large, complex, hard-to-understand, expensive problem, there exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap wrong answer.
8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out.
9. To err is human; to shrug is civil service.
10. There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-07-2006 11:41 AM
Rated G B.B.
Humor in Music
A, C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B- flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.
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