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Author Topic: The "What makes me go insane!" thread Phil Hill I love my cootie bug Posts: 7595 From: Hollywood, CA USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 12-04-2009 03:42 PM                  The armrest serves as a centering/locating device. It fulfills a niche function appropriate for that person for an even weight distribution of his fat ass... I give the airline kudos for the "crack" insight and clever solution...  |  IP: Logged Chris Slycord Film God Posts: 2986 From: 청주시, 경북도, South Korea Registered: Mar 2007 posted 12-04-2009 05:02 PM                     quote: Brad Miller Are you suggesting that the armrest is rated for 400 pounds? All 400 wouldn't be on it but as you can see from the pic, the arm wasn't pulled up (and those ones can't be anyway). Obviously that side of his body would still be beyond the thing's rated threshold, but the attendants might not really care. If the thing breaks, they're not the one that has to fix it.  |  IP: Logged Jeremy Weigel Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1062 From: Edmond, OK, USA Registered: Mar 2007 posted 12-04-2009 05:38 PM                     You'll soon see a mock seat setup at check-in labeled "If you can't fit, you can't fly".  |  IP: Logged Chris Slycord Film God Posts: 2986 From: 청주시, 경북도, South Korea Registered: Mar 2007 posted 12-04-2009 06:56 PM                     They actually charge the person double. Either it's for possible repairs to a seat like in the picture, or they simply (if not booked too full) give them 2 seats to take up.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-04-2009 08:04 PM                     Airlines should enact a "One seat = One ass" policy. Every seat gets one ass. Every ass gets one seat. If there is more than one ass per seat or one seat per ass, the ass responsible has to pay the difference. No crying babies in a mother's arms unless she pays for the second seat. No fat-assed passengers unless they pay for the second seat. Kills two birds with one stone.  |  IP: Logged Andy Bajew Expert Film Handler Posts: 136 From: Bellaire, Texas Registered: Jun 2009 posted 12-04-2009 08:31 PM                     What airlines have you flown where policy was someone who required two seats only had to pay for one? All the 'big' airlines that fly in and out of Houston have a policy where you are required to buy a second seat.  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 12-04-2009 08:51 PM                        Most airlines do have a "one seat=one ass" policy, more politely called a "person of size" policy. The definition of needing to buy a second seat is that if the "person of size" can't get the movable armrests down around him/her they must by a second seat. But (or "Butt!" as Phil would say ) they only have to pay child's fare for the second seat, and that fare will be refunded if the flight operates with empty seats. Notice how that poor seat unit is bending under the "load" (the legs are under the middle armrests). It'd be my luck if I was an AMT there, I'd be the one called out to R&R it. As pictured, the cabin is not legal even for pushback due to the aisle being blocked and it doesn't look like the person has his seatbelt fastened. Fortunately, boarding is still in progress. There's no way an FAA-certified air carrier (American Airlines in this case) would allow that cabin condition to move, let alone fly. As it turned out, the neighboring pax was given a ticket to fly on a later flight, and the big pax was given the entire three-seat unit plus seatbelt extenders.  |  IP: Logged Adam Martin I'm not even gonna point out the irony. Posts: 3686 From: Dallas, TX Registered: Nov 2000 posted 12-04-2009 09:51 PM                     Many aisle seats have a lever on the underside to release the armrest to flip up.  |  IP: Logged Richard Hamilton Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1341 From: Evansville, Indiana Registered: Jan 2000 posted 12-05-2009 12:18 AM                     Brad, you must use the same travel agent that I have. I had 1 flight where I was sitting peacefully in my aisle seat, nobody next to me, just casually waiting to take off, when I see a 500 pound black lady waddling down the aisle. I do what any normal person would do in this situation, I frantically look around for empty seats and pray that she isn't going to be next to me. No such luck, I had flight attendents apoligizing to me because I was halfway in the aisle for the 8 hour flight. When they wheeled the food/beverage cart through, I had to stand up and squeeze out of the way for them to get through. No offense to anyone on this forum, but fat people fucking stink, eveytime this woman moved, I threw up a little in my mouth.  |  IP: Logged Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 12-05-2009 02:03 AM                     quote: Randy Stankey Airlines should enact a "One seat = One ass" policy. They already have the little thing that says "if your bag cannot fit in here, you must check it". Why can't they have an actual airline seat at the gate...except instead of armrests there should be WALLS. People forget that even if their ass CAN fit between the armrests, their upper body is almost always WIDER than their ass, and that forces the person sitting next to them to sit sideways and leaning the entire flight like Richard had to endure.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-05-2009 11:34 AM                     Oh, I can just imagine some big, fat lady finally wedging her lard-ass into the test jig and the agent stamps her ticket "Approved" just as the attendant at the gate announces, "Final boarding call!" Then the fun begins when the fat lady tries to UNWEDGE her lard-ass out of that seat but gets stuck and can't get out of the chair in time to make the plane. There goes the fat lady, lumbering and jiggling her way down the concourse, waving her ticket in the air, shouting, "Wait! Wait!" She turns the corner and gets to the gate just as the plane pulls away from the jetway. Some dirty, old man sitting in a seat across the aisle, reading a newspaper grumbles, "If you weren't such a tub of lard you might have made it!" Things I'd like to see...  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 12-05-2009 01:06 PM                        Oh the small joys of life, Randy. quote: Adam Martin Many aisle seats have a lever on the underside to release the armrest to flip up. True. The aisle-facing armrests usually can be released up, but only to allow a wheelchair pax to slide from a wheelchair into his/her assigned seat. It's not like the crew can allow those armrests to stay up in order to give more room to a person-of-size. Again, the aisle must be clear before the aircraft can move. ..... What makes me go insane? Lately, it's been trying to get a check cashed when you no longer have a bank account and you don't have two pieces of "acceptable" ID. From here on out, as I sell my stuff, I'll have to insist on cash.  |  IP: Logged Richard Hamilton Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1341 From: Evansville, Indiana Registered: Jan 2000 posted 12-05-2009 04:57 PM                     I quit using checks a few years ago. The only reason I have a bank account is for companies to wire me money so my ex wife can delete it all:mad:  |  IP: Logged Mark Gulbrandsen Resident Trollmaster Posts: 16657 From: Music City Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-05-2009 05:19 PM                     Checks? Banks? Those are both from the stone age... I don't even carry cash hardly at all anymore. My credit union does not charge me for usinmg my debit card at all. Banks ... well they just plain suck no matter what. Banking at a bank is a loosing proposition no matter what angle they try to get you to look at it from. I haven't been at a bank in over 15 years. Mark  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 12-05-2009 07:28 PM                        Me too. Haven't written a check in years. But since I don't have a bank account nor a credit union account nor an ATM/debit card anymore, when someone pays me with a check these days... difficulties ensue. This check I received is partial payment for a collection of plastic model kits I sold last week. It's drawn on a local Wells Fargo branch. But I can't cash it there without two forms of "acceptable" ID, which I normally would have if I knew where my current passport was at the moment (funny how I can't find the current one, but the expired one is in plain sight ). May have to get the buyer (local guy) to take his check back and pay me in cash.  |  IP: Logged

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