There were 2 friends, a blonde and a redhead.

After shopping the redhead left the keys in the ignition because she was carrying lots of things and didn't think anybody would steal it.

She hears a car going and runs out to see that her car is gone. Her blonde friend was there when it happened. The redhead asks if the blonde got their description and the blonde said she got something better.

The redhead asked, "What?"

10. Why are the Japanese so smart?
No blondes.

9. Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

8. Did you hear about the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean shot glass?

7. Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriter.

6. Why did the dumb blonde take a pee in the middle of the cafeteria?
She saw a sign that read "Wet Floor."

5. What's the advantage to being married to a blonde...
You can park in the handicapped zone.

4. What do you call 25 blondes on top of each other?
An air mattress

3. How can you tell if a blonde has been in the fourth grade too long?
- All the other kids start bringing her apples cause they think she’s the teacher.

2. What do you call it when Susanne Sommers tries to teach Madonna how to cook....

The blonde leading the blonde.

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. So upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

Why is a blondes coffin "y" shaped?
Because as soon as they hit their back-their legs open.

Hear about the blonde explorer?
He bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

How did the blonde moonwalk?
She got naked from the waist down and slid her butt along the floor.

What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
Double-dumb.

What's the difference between a blonde and a tree?
The tree knows when it's being cut down.

What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
It swells at night.

Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold?
They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
Because she's been laid all over the country.

A blind guy walks into a bar. He orders up a drink, and says, "Hey, anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"

The lady next to him says in a gruff voice, "Just for your information, I'm a blonde kick-boxer, the lady next to me is a blonde champion knife-thrower, the next blonde lady is a black belt in tai-kwon-do, the next blonde lady has two handguns, and the bartender is a blonde too!!

Do you still want to tell that joke??"

Two blondes decide to go duck hunting.

Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.

One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it. Why aren't we getting any ducks?"

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby.

One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital.

He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

10. What does a blonde use for birth control?
Brown hair-dye .

9. Do you know what the hardest thing about playing golf with a blonde is?
Having to say, "Great shot, Honey!" 142 times.

8. Why don't blonds go over 68?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.

7. Why are blondes thankful that sperm are shaped like a tadpoles?
Because a frog would be harder to swallow.6.

Example of a blonde advertisers work:“Illiterate?
Write today for free help”.

5. Why did the blonde pee inside the cafeteria?
She saw a sign that read "Wet Floor.

4. A blonde who shot an arrow in the air...She missed.

3. Why did the blonde plant cherrios in her garden?She thought they were donut seeds.

2. What's one advantage to being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.

1. This guy in a bar keeps eying the two good-looking blondes in the corner, keeps saluting them with his glass, keeps sending over drinks, etc.After a while, one comes over to him and asks, "Would you like to smell my friend's muff?"

"Wow! I sure would," he answers.

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

10. Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach blondes to walk on their hind legs.

9. What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
The Panama Canal is a busy ditch....

8. Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom?
They have to pull their own pants down.

7. Why did it take the blonde so long to make chocolate chip cookies?
She had to shell all the M&Ms.

6. What's the similarity between a blonde and a bank?
After withdrawal, you lose interest.

5. "Tell me again" asked the judge, "why you parked there?"
The blonde answered respectfully, "because your honor it is said fine for parking."

4. A religious blonde talking to her boyfriend: "What about our religious differences? I worship money and you're broke!!!!!"

3. Why do blondes leave empty milk cartons in fridge?
In case someone wants black coffee.

2. Why do blondes use hair spray and mousse?
To catch what goes over their head.

Blonde Secretary's Memo to her Boss

TO: Boss

FROM: Blondie

RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me.

At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:
Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to:

Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak

The Top 6 Ways a Football is Like a Blonde

6. Both are made out of plastic.

5. Both are full of hot air.

4. Both are frequently passed from man to man.

3. Both have been known to score.

2. Both are often handled by hot, sweaty guys on television.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner.

The brunette looks at it. ''That's definitely cum,'' she says.

The redhead touches it. ''That's definitely cum,'' she says.

They were very excited about their new arrivals, and were trying
to figure out what sex the baby will be.

"My baby will be a boy, because when we had sex my husband was
on top," said the redhead.

"My baby is going to be a girl because I was on top during sex,
" says the brunette.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?