After several unsuccessful advances, the bachelor asked his blonde and alluring but standoffish date "Do you shrink from making love?"

A group of blondes in a class at the University of the Pacific were
given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went
out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're
falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just
a mess.

An engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do,
walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat,
measures it from end to end, and then gave measurement to one of the blondes
and walked away.

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

Blonde Ironing

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A Blonde and a Shower

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?

A: You don't have to turn a blonde on to get her wet.

What do u call a blonde doing a handstand?

A brunette with bad breath.

Avon Lady

Q: Why does the blonde Avon Lady walk funny?

A: Her lipstick.

The Top 6 Ways a Football is Like a Blonde

A blonde was being a substitute teacher for her friend. She figured that it would be best if she wrote everything on the board for the kids, so it would be easier for them to understand.

During math class she said to the class, "Ok class, it is time for your math test. I will write the problems for the test on the board." So she did it, and they took the test.

Later in science she said to the class, "I will write the questions to your science assignment on the board." So she did and they took the test.

10. Why were shopping carts invented?

To teach blondes to walk on their hind legs.

9. What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

The Panama Canal is a busy ditch....

8. Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom?

They have to pull their own pants down.

7. Why did it take the blonde so long to make chocolate chip cookies?
She had to shell all the M&Ms.

6. What's the similarity between a blonde and a bank?

After withdrawal, you lose interest.

5. "Tell me again" asked the judge, "why you parked there?"

The blonde answered respectfully, "because your honor it is said fine for parking."

4. A religious blonde talking to her boyfriend:

"What about our religious differences? I worship money and you're broke!!!!!"

3. Why do blondes leave empty milk cartons in fridge?

In case someone wants black coffee.

2. Why do blondes use hair spray and mousse?

To catch what goes over their head.

1. Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb?

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke.

She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in. And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her.

Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

Judi walks into the library, looks around, then gets in line for the counter.

Once she gets to the head of the line, she loudly says, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke."

The librarian looks at her for a moment. Then whispers to Judi, "Ma'am, this is the library."

Judi nods. Then she *whispers*, "I'd like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke."

Blonde in the Mirror

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.

She picks it up, looks into it, and says, "WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before..."

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.

One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My Gosh!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.

Are you OK ma'am!?"

"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ....

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

Two drunk blondes are stranded in the middle of nowhere trying to get home.

The first blonde needs to take a piss bad so she tromps off into the bushes.

After almost 10 minutes the second blonde begins to get worried and heads into the field to look for the first.

She walks for almost a kilometer until she finally finds the first blonde.... kneeling beneath a horse, sucking its cock.

"What in the world are you doing that for???" asks the second blonde.