A fellow dies, goes to Hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer.

He asks a nearby demon if this is really Hell, and what was so bad about the place.

A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one
lifeline left. The next question will give you the million dollars if
you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to
$32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is
it...

A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush

"Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."

Barbara: "It's a cuckoo."

Regis: "You're sure? You can walk with the $500,000 or play on for the
million."

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C - Cuckoo."

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Absolutely!"

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C -Cuckoo.

Well....you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler.
Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne. Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the
cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

"It was so simple," Barbara replied, "Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."

Q. What did the postcard say frrom the blond?

A. Having a good time. Where am I?

Q. Why did the blond climb the chain link fence?

A. To see what was on the other side.

Q. What do you call a blond in a tree with a briefcase?

A. Branch Manager

Q. Why did the blond cross the road?

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.

Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"

"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."

"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"

"I couldn't," she replied. "There was no one there."

This blonde was sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So she made up her mind that she would show her husband that blondes really are smart. One day, while he was at work, she purchased a can of paint and decided to repaint the living room.

Her husband arrived home at 5:30 and smelled the distinctive odor of paint. He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He observed that she was wearing a ski jacket as well as a fur coat.He went over to her and asked if she was OK. She acknowledged that she was.He then asked what she was doing.

She replied that she had set out to prove to him that not all blondes are dumb and, to do so, she had elected to paint the living room.

A blonde was chatting with her building manager when she happened to mention that the tenants in the apartment above hers were awfully noisy.

"Most nights, they stomp around up there as if they will killing cockroaches or something. All evening, this goes on, until around midnight."

"That's terrible," said the building manager. "Do you want me to speak to them about it?"

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened.

She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?"

The captain asked, "Why not?"

My friend was on duty in the main computer lab at school on a quiet afternoon. He noticed Buffy a young BLONDE woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and
staring at the screen.

After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.

He asked if she needed help and she replied, "It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"

A man is sitting on a train across from a Busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear.

The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes.

"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss.

The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do.

"I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him.

"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

A blonde schedules a three-hour session with her therapist, and all she wants to talk about is how the constant pressure of being a beautiful, desirable blonde is causing her migraine headaches. For three hours straight, she whines, and cries, and moans about how hard it is to be so sexy, while everyone is theworld is jealous of her, and says mean things about her, and calls her dumb, and self-centered, and shallow...

At the two-and-a-half-hour mark, the blonde suddenly stops in mid-sentence and shouts, "Doctor! You're a miracle worker! I'm cured! My headache is gone!"

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales
woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She
obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to himyelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

QUESTION: Why are blonde jokes so short?

If a Blonde and a Brunette jump off the Empire StateBuilding at the exact same time, who's going to hit the ground first?

BLONDE QUICKIES!

She was so blonde that…

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.

Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain.

What do you call nine blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What's the definition of eternity? Four blondes at a 4-way stop.

What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.

What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front."

I just wanna say that I'm against eating meat cause I'm a veternarian, and blondes being stupid is just another stereo system.