The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his blonde secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Florida. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

A father and his three beautiful, blonde, daughters went into a hotel to stay for the night.

When the daughters went to check in, they saw a really good looking bell boy.

The father caught the three girls looking at him and he threatened to kill the bell boy if he did anything at all with them. So the bell boy minded his business and ignored the girls.While he was working ever so diligently, the eldest daughter goes up to him and says, "If you don't do it with me in bed, I will pour red juice on the sheets of my bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry."

Fearing for his life, he did it with her.

Then he saw the beautiful middle daughter in the hallway and she too walked over to him and said, "If you don't do it with me, I'll pour red juice on my bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry."

Again fearing for his life, he agreed.

Later that evening the youngest blonde daughter saw him.She walked up to him and said, "If you don't have sex with me, I'll pour green juice all over the bed and tell my father that you popped my cherry."

"Green juice?" He asked. "Why Green?"

Liana was a beautiful blonde girl.

As she was walking through the woods on a hot summers day, the heat became too much for her and she decided to go for a swim. She took off all her clothes, piled them neatly on the side of the riverbank and dove in.

A couple of young boys came along and decided to steal her clothes.

Having gotten out of the water and discovered that her clothes had been stolen, Liana decided to go to the roadside and hitch a ride home.

Along came Steve, riding a bicycle. He stopped for Liana."Come," he said, "I'll ride you into town."She jumped on his bicycle and rode side saddle in front of him.

Steve said nothing, but after ten minutes Liana was so overwhelmed at how calm he was that she said, "Tell me, haven't you noticed that I'm completely naked?"

Blonde Judi is explaining to Monika the bad day she'd had at work. Judi's boss had suffered a heart attack and died.

Monika said, "How horrible! What did you do?"

A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on either side.

She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.

She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!"

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51
days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts.

Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster.

When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other
side?"

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family.

Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself.

The next day her mother called to see how everything went."Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey?" said the daughter.

"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.

How do you sink a submarine full of blonds?

What do you call a smart blonde?

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.

THE BLONDE AND THE RABBIT

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across
the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but
unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over
and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful
that he begins to cry.

A beautiful woman driving down the highway sees the man crying
on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car
and asks him what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I
accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out
a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends
down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops
off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns
around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10
feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out
of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands,
"What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so the man can read the label.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her own
head. The boyfriend yells, "No honey, don't do it!"

A Sailor met a good looking blonde at the bar and wastrying to get laid without much success."I don't date servicemen," she said, "but I am curious as to why you sailors have those two rows of buttons
on your pants.""Why, that's because we have two dicks," the sailor
replied."Interesting, probably twice as much fun," replied the
blonde, "let's go to my place and try them out."

So they did, and after the first screwing the blonde says "Boy that was sure nice, now that I'm rested and still horny, I want the other one."

Whereupon the sailor undid the other side of buttons,pulled out a limp, weary dick, looked at it and sadlydeclared "Well, I'll be damned! He's pouting because he wasn't FIRST!"

Three blondes had just bought a can of Pepsi One and were anxious to try it for the first time.

So the first blonde opens the can, the second blonde pours it into three glasses.