A sheriff in a small town walked out in the street and saw a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots.

So the sheriff arrested him for indecent exposure. As he was locking him up he asked "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The Cowboy said, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did.

"We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, .... so I did....

"Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants... so I did...

"Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts... So I did...

"Then she got on the bed, looked at me kind of funny and said, Now go to town cowboy....

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "OK, pedestrians!"

The throng surged across Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner. When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection.

Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion.

Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this time she had been joined by another crowd of people.

Tweeeeeeeet! "OK, pedestrians!" The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed put. She looked at her watch and tapped her foot but never budged from the sidewalk.

Q: Where do blonds go meet their relatives?
A: The vegatable garden

Q: Did you hear about the blond who bought a toy poodle?
A: She killed trying to shove the batteries up it's rear.

Q: What did the blond say when she heard her friend died?
A: What color?

Instant Winner

A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win"sticker on her coffee cup.

So she's peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."

The blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

Finally the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"

An English Gentleman goes to the local Hallmark Store and
approaches the young blonde Clerk with a question.

"Do you keep stationery?" He asked

"For about 2 or three minutes, but then I just go all crazy." She
replied.

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration, please."

"Fine. It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.

"Sure, lady!"The officer replied,"I've never heard of such a license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license.

Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license,"See? It says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

The blonde was complaining to one of her friends.

"It was terrible!" she said. "I had to change seats five times at the movie last night!"

"Why? asked her friend. "Did some guy bother you?"

A blonde couple were delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

FRENCH PERFUME

Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle.

Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice,don't you think, Tracy"

"Yeah. What's it called Sharon?"

"Viens a moi."

"Viens a moi? What the does that mean?"

At this stage the store clerk offers some help.

"Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'"

My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe' in Huntington
Beach, CA.

Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blonde hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave us a long blank look and replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."

A blonde woman walks into a chemist and asks the assistant for some
bottom deodorant.

The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.

The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis, and would like some more.

The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing full well that they don't stock, or have ever sold, such an item. She smiles at the dumb blonde and says, "One moment please, I will get the pharmacist."

The pharmacist looks at the blonde and says, "Can I help you miss?"

"I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please," says the blonde.

"I'm sorry," says the chemist, "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container it comes in?"

"Yes!" Said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her,

"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

BLONDES

Did you hear about the blonde that...

1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

2.Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

3. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

4. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

5. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

6. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

7. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C"

8. Burnt her nose bobbing for French fries.

9. Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

10. Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

11. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

12. Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree.

13. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "good up to 20 pounds"

14. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

15. What goes vroom-screech-vroom-screech',etc? A blonde at a flashing red light.

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions - "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to
the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"

A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk.

Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons? "

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath." T

he milkman asked, "OK. You want it Pasteurized? "