Doe A Deer, A Female Deer...

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair.

"How did you get that feather?" the woman asked.

"I screw one squaw," the Indian said.

Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair. "How did you get those feathers?" she asked.

"I screw two squaw," he said.

Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her.

"My! How did you get all those feathers?" she asked.

"I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear." he answered.

"Oh dear!" said the woman.

If you go fishin' and you catch somethin' - thats good.

If your making love and you catch somethin' - that's bad.

Fish don't complain if you light up a smoke right after you catch 'em.

You can catch and release a fish, but you don't have to lie and promise to still be freinds after you let it go.

You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishin'.

Q: How can you tell when your dogs are kinky?

What's the difference between a hog and a man -

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait.

Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm.

The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.

Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat.

Then he went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg.

The Top 15 Adult Videos for Animals

15. Deep Goat

14. The Bitches of Beastwick

13. A Street Cat Name Desire

12. Behind the Screen Door

11. Sniffing Ryan's Privates

10. Squirrel, Interruptus

9. Dog-Style Afternoon

8. Pantin'

7. The Triple Crown Affair

6. Mounting Python & the Holy Tail

5. South Bark: Bigger, Longer, and Unspayed

4. Hen in Black

3. Honey, I Humped the Squids

2. The Pelican's Briefs

These two ladies were walking down the street when they came across this frog.

The frog said, "Kiss me and I will turn into a handsome Texas oil man."

One lady reached down, grabbed the frog and put it in her purse.

The other looked at her and said, "Aren't you going to kiss that frog?"

What do gay termites eat?

Woody Woodpecker.
**
Mary had a little lamb......

That'll teach her to stay out of the barn.
****
What do you call a rabbit with fleas all over him?

Bugs Bunny.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Jack goes to the doctor and says “Doc I’m having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?”

After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, “Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There’s really nothing I can do for you except if you’re willing to try an experimental treatment.”

Jack asks sadly, “What is this treatment?”

“Well,” the doctor explains, “what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis.”

Jack thinks about it silently then says, “Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let’s go for it.”

A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment.

He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city.

In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that
continued to the point of being painful.

To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly.

His penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll and then returned to his pants.

His girl friend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, “That was incredible! Can you do it again?”

Two cowboys were riding on their horses. One was from Colorado and the other from California.

They were riding along a fence when they came across a heifer that had her head stuck in the fence.

The Colorado cowboy jumped off his horse, hurried to the heifer, pulled down his pants and screwed the cow for all he was worth.

When he was done he looked at the California cowboy and said,” You’re turn.”

A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn't going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.

"OK!" he said with exasperation, "follow me," and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him. Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.

"Do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

A flock of sheep are grazing in a field, happily going "baa baa" to each other, discussing life as usual, when suddenly they hear a "moo mooooooooooooooooooo!"
They look around and see only sheep.

They carry on grazing as before.

"Moooooo mooooooooooo mmmoooo!"

One sheep can hear it all too clearly next to him.

He shuffles away a little from his friend, a worried look on his face, and then asks "Wooley, why are you mooing?

You're a sheep. Sheep go 'baa!'"

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."
Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.

The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.

The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.

The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set of bagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it. He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.

After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says, "Come on now! Play it!"