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Author Topic: Education Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-23-2003 02:59 PM                        Rated PG Sue Bee A college professor in an art class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches, he noticed that one of the young ladies had sketched the man with an erection. The professor said, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way." She replied, "What other way???"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-23-2003 03:00 PM                        Rated PG Sue Bee A college professor in an art class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches, he noticed that one of the young ladies had sketched the man with an erection. The professor said, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way." She replied, "What other way???"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-23-2003 05:50 PM                        Rated G A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a quarter,and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-25-2003 09:16 PM                        Rated PG The coed cutie returned to the sorority house after her first breakfast date at a neighboring fraternity with her steady boyfriend. Asked what she had, she replied dreamily, "Him and eggs."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-26-2003 09:01 AM                        Rated G Lorraine A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class,"Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course,prove to me that this chair[ b]DOES NOT EXIST.[/b]" So,pencils are writing and erasers are erasing,students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student.He spends thirty seconds writing his answer,then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers. Time goes by,and the day comes when all the students get their final grades...and to the amazment of the class,the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class. His answer to the question: "What chair?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-31-2003 10:36 AM                        Rated G ........ Sue Bee PETER'S PORTRAIT One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect. "The head is too big," the professor explained. "The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous." The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one look at my brother and said, "Okay, A minus."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-01-2003 03:43 PM                        Rated G "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?" "Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-02-2003 11:09 AM                        Rated G Science Sillies From 5th & 6th Graders **The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom. **Momentum is something you give a person when they go away. **Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas. **The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar. **The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana. **Thunder is a rich source of loudness. **When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. **One of the main causes of dust is DIRT. **A monsoon is a French gentleman. **To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow. **Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't,why you should. **Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does. **The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. **You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-07-2003 07:21 PM                        Rated G Miss Hardy had been telling a class of small pupils the story of the discovery of America by Columbus. She concluded enthusiastically, "And all this happened more than 500 years ago." "Gosh!" exclaimed Steve from a rear seat, "What a memory you've got!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-08-2003 03:05 PM                        Rated G Teacher: "How'd you get stung?" Student: "By smelling a flowber." Teacher: "There's no b in flower." Student: "There was in this one."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-10-2003 12:04 PM                        Rated G Teacher: Who can tell me what the formerruler of Russia was called? Class: Tsar. Teacher: Correct; and what was his wife called? Class: Tsarina. Teacher: What were the Tsar's children called? There was a pause, and then a timid voice from the back quipped up: Tsardines! :B  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-13-2003 04:15 PM                        Rated G I was taking a ground school class for private pilots.During the session on weather,the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation,the act of going from a gas to a solid skipping the intermediate liquid stage.He gave as an example water vapor in the air condensing on a windshield to form ice. Wanting to see if the class had understood the concept,the instructor asked if anyone could provide an example of something that went straight from a solid to a gas. He was expecting "dry ice''as the answer. One of the students blurted out,"Burritos."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-15-2003 06:14 AM                        Rated G AMERICA, THY NAME The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia pagepicturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?" A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country." "Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our country?" "Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-15-2003 04:11 PM                        Rated G TEACHER:What a strange pair of socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! BONGANI: No, it's not really strange.I've got another pair just like that at home.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-15-2003 04:22 PM                        Rated G Lorraine What's your first name?" the teacher asked a new kid. "It's Orson, ma'am. I was named after Orson Welles, the film star." "Just as well your last name's not Cart. Isn't it?"  |  IP: Logged

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