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Author Topic: Golf Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:34 AM                       Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:34 AM                       The interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:35 AM                       An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?" The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways." The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?" The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive, he's a golfer." The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living? How old is he?" The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old." The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?" The old timer said, "No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married." The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married?! Why would a 118-year- old guy want to get married?" The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:35 AM                       Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~ Grantland Rice  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:36 AM                       If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~ Horace G. Hutchinson  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:36 AM                       Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one. ~ Author Unknown  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:36 AM                       It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~ Mark Twain  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:36 AM                       Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~ Harry Vardon  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:37 AM                       Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ Jimmy DeMaret  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:37 AM                       May thy ball lie in green pastures - and not in still waters. ~ Author Unknown  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:37 AM                       The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~ George Deukmejian  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:38 AM                       Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~ John Updike  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:38 AM                       It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. ~ Robert Lynd  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:38 AM                       They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~ Gardner Dickinson  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-20-2008 03:38 AM                       If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~ Sam Snead  |  IP: Logged

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