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Topic: Golf
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Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays
Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999
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posted 01-20-2008 03:44 AM
RATED PG-13
A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their
weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a beautiful
young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approaches them. She
explains that the member who brought her to the club for a round
of golf had an emergency which called him away and asks the trio
whether she can join them.
Naturally, the guys all agree. Smiling, the blonde thanks them and
says, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so
nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars,
have a beer, bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything
that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But
I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't
try to coach me on how to play my shots."
With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first.
All eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends to place
her ball on the tee. She then takes her driver and hits the ball
270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.
The father's mouth is agape. "That was beautiful," he said.
The blonde puts her driver away and says, "I really didn't get
into it and I should have faded it a little."
After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots (she
was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a nine iron and lofts
the ball within five feet of the hole.
The son says "damn, lady, you played that perfectly."
The blonde frowns and says, "it was a little weak. I've left a
tricky little putt."
After the son buries a long putt for a par, dad two putts for a
bogey and granddad overruns the green with his pitching wedge,
chips back and putts for a double bogey, the blonde taps in the
five-footer for a birdie.
The guys all congratulate her on her fine game. She puts her putter
back in the bag and says, "Thanks, but I really haven't played much
lately, and I'm a little rusty. "Maybe I'll really get into this
next drive."
Having the honors, she drives first on the second hole and knocks
the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300 yards away smack
in the middle of the fairway. And for the rest of the round she
continues to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting
for par or less on every hole.
When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under par,
but has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.
She turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to thank you
all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what
club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69
and I'd really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you
can tell me how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to
my apartment, pour some 25-year old Royal Salute Scotch in him,
fix him dinner and then show him a good time the rest of the
night."
The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the green,
carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says, "Honey, aim
about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will
get over that little hump and break right into the cup."
The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter as a
plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly
10 inches to the right and run it left down that little hogback,
so it falls into the cup."
The old gray haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's ball
on the green, picks it up and hands it to the her. "That's a
gimme, sweetheart. Your car or mine?"
So remember, age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill
every time!
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