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Author Topic: Family Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-12-2007 01:44 PM                        Rated G Marty The Cunninghams were building a new house to accommodate their expanding family of five. Every night they would visit the new construction to check on the progress. One evening they saw that scaffolding had been erected around the perimeter of the house. Four-year-old Kayla was amazed. She whispered to her parents Anne and Rick, "Look at those monkey bars. They're bigger than the ones at school."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-20-2007 10:33 AM                        Rated G "Happy Birthday" My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "68." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-22-2007 08:13 AM                        Rated G B.B. My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched her mother try on outfit after outfit, exclaiming every time, "Mommy, you look beautiful." A woman in the next fitting room called out, "May I borrow your daughter for a moment?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-22-2007 08:22 AM                        Rated G Lorraine One of our family's superstitions is that if a fork is dropped, we'll have a lady visitor; if a knife, a man; if a spoon, a child. One evening my five-year-old daughter was drying silverware and I had put the tray close to her on the counter. Suddenly I heard the awful crash of all the silverware hitting the floor. "Mommy!" she cried in excitement, "we're going to have a party!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-22-2007 08:25 AM                        Rated G Lorraine Our neighbour watched with interest our first efforts at raising chickens. We wanted them to have ample space, so we penned off a large run, and also built them a small house at one end. We felt they lived quite a luxurious life. When a heat wave struck and the birds showed signs of distress, we hastily draped a tarp over a pole to give them shade. As the chickens settled down under the tarp, our neighbor came over and exclaimed: "Oh, isn't that cute! You've let them go camping."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-25-2007 11:23 AM                        Rated PG B.B. A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Dallas courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Dallas Cowboys, whom the boy firmly believes, are not capable of beating anyone.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-05-2007 11:15 AM                        Rated G B.B. I've got three TVs, cable and a satellite dish; I have three phone lines into the house, a cell phone and one in the car, plus a pager. I use two computers, three ISPs and a fax machine. I subscribe to two daily papers and one weekly one. I watch the news on every channel every evening. And my kids have the nerve to tell me I'm out of touch.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-05-2007 11:24 AM                        Rated G B.B. The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose - how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said he could handle the story tactfully. The book appeared. It said "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-14-2007 08:10 AM                        Rated G Maggie While my son and I were visiting grandma, the man who delivers hot meals came. He said he had eight kids of his own. I said, "I can't imagine dividing my love by eight." He said, "You don't divide it, you multiply it."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-14-2007 08:12 AM                        Rated G Lorraine I have a reputation for penny-pinching, but I didn’t realize how I had influenced my daughter until she showed me her valentines from school. Reading the name on each card, she separated them into two piles. Then she carefully erased the pencilled signatures in the first pile and brought them to me. "You can save these for next year, Mommy."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-15-2007 08:24 AM                        Rated G Lorraine While I was visiting a friend, his college-age daughter hurried into the room. She enthusiastically explained her plans for the afternoon and ended with a request for some pocket money. With an exaggerated sigh and roll of his eyes, my friend reached for his wallet. "Maybe you'd like a money tree out in the backyard," he grumbled, winking at me. Kissing him on the cheek, and with a grin of her own, she replied: "Oh, no, Daddy. We'd never replace you!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-16-2007 11:05 AM                        Rated G Children would all be brought up perfectly if families would just swap kids. Everyone knows what ought to be done with the neighbor’s kids.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-17-2007 03:41 PM                        Rated G Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on The Reply: Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-18-2007 09:04 AM                        Rated G Ed in Aurora, Ont. Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. ~Author Unknown Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Granddaddies have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret Grandmother always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown Grandmothers hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~Dave Barry I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have Around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a faster rate. ~Bill Cosby Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie If you are a Grandparent or not you will enjoy the quotes. If you are not a grandparent share it with one you know!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-19-2007 09:24 AM                        Rated G Gerry James and his four-year-old son Anthony saw a huge chicken at the petting zoo. The boy was impressed with the size of the chicken and said," He must be the daddy because he's the biggest." James agreed, adding, "Yeah, and he pecks a lot, too." As they walked away from the area, Anthony saw a little girl about his age. He pointed to the big chicken and warned, "Watch out. There's a really big pecker in there."  |  IP: Logged

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