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Author Topic: Family Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-24-2006 07:56 AM                        Rated G Lorraine My six-year-old daughter, Camilla, was thirsty and asked her great-aunt, whom we were visiting in California, if she could have a drink of water. They walked over to the fridge, which had an ice-and-water dispenser on the door, and as she filled a glass, my aunt asked, "How do you like our fridge?" Camilla looked at it closely and then said, "We have one at home, too, but ours has food in it.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-24-2006 07:58 AM                        Rated G Lorraine As the ferry neared our landing, my mother, sister and I got on the boat's elevator to return to our car. We pressed the button for our deck and the elevator started down, but when it reached our level, the doors wouldn't open. Pressing the "door open" button didn't work, so when my sister spotted an emergency phone in the corner, my mother used it. "Hello... hello! Is anybody there?" she asked nervously. "Yes," came the reply. "We're trapped in the elevator, at the bottom level," Mom said. We heard voices over the speakers, calling for electricians. And then the operator on the phone tried to calm us. "Take it easy, and stay right where you are."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-26-2006 10:36 AM                        Rated G Lorraine Most of the cooking in our house is done by my husband, but occasionally I get to make dinner. One day it dawned on me that our eight-year-old daughter was willing to help me, but not her father, in the kitchen. I asked her why. "Well, Mom," she replied,"Dad seems to know what he's doing."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-06-2006 08:29 AM                        Rated G Lorraine A young boy was very much interested in the progress of his mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day of birth drew near and the boy overheard arrangements being made for his mother to go to the hospital. He looked at his mother with great puzzlement and said, “Mom, I don’t understand. If they’re going to deliver the baby, why do you have to go to the hospital?”  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-12-2006 02:21 PM                        Rated G B.B. One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-13-2006 04:42 PM                        Rated G Lorraine "Grandmom, can I go downstairs and see if Santa came?" my very mischievous four-year-old grandson whispered in my ear at an ungodly hour Christmas morning. I groaned my okay. Seconds later he came bounding back upstairs. "Grandmom, Santa came!" he exclaimed joyfully. "I told you he wasn't watching me!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-14-2006 09:57 AM                        Rated G Betsy A little boy came into the house with a wildflower for his mother. "Oh my," she said. "You picked that for me all by yourself?" "Yes," he replied. "And the whole world was holding on to the other end."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-14-2006 10:13 AM                        Rated G Lorraine My husband Nate had just bought his dream car, a 1977 red Corvette. From the minute he brought it home, he was either cleaning the interior or polishing the exterior. Then he had the undercarriage oil-sprayed and put an old green blanket on the garage floor under the car to catch any oil drips. When our son came home from college, Nate showed him his new purchase, and they went for a spin. He explained that the Corvette's smooth, sleek design attracts much attention. Sure enough, the occupants in the first car that passed them stared. As they continued on their route, they kept getting looks from pedestrians and drivers alike. Al was impressed, and Nate was delighted at everyone's reaction to his prized possession. When they pulled into a parking lot, a man in a parked car stared at them before he got out of his car and walked towards them. Nate lowered the window to better hear the man's compliments about the car. "Do you know you're dragging a large green blanket behind your car?" the fellow asked.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-16-2006 10:18 AM                        Rated G B.B. On my birthday I was cutting the lawn when my teenage son came home from a baseball game. Seeing me behind the mower, he exclaimed, "Oh, Dad, you shouldn't have to mow the lawn on your birthday." Touched, I was about to turn the mower over to him when he added, "You should wait until tomorrow!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-23-2006 11:17 AM                        Rated G Lorraine I listened to the bickering of my children in the backseat of the car. My seven-year-old daughter was in a particularly bossy mood, telling her five-year-old brother where to sit, where to put his toys, how to buckle his seat belt. After putting up with her orders for some time, he finally said: "Who do you think you are? My wife?!?!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-30-2006 01:09 PM                        Rated G Lorraine My friend overheard an argument between his two sons, six and eight years old. They were discussing marriage. The youngest boldly declared, "I hate girls, and I'm never going to get married! "The older boy was more receptive. "Come on," he said persuasively. "There are lots of good things about being married." "Name one!" came the challenge. The boy didn't hesitate. "Well, if you're watching your favourite TV show and the phone rings, you don't have to answer it."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-11-2007 02:12 PM                        Rated G My brother's twin daughters, Betty and Cassie returned home from a shopping trip with their mom wearing new shoes. My brother and I decided to go down to the river to fish, and the girls said they'd like to come, too. "Okay, but change your shoes," their mom said. While we were walking through mud down on the riverbank, Cassie exclaimed: "Betty! Mom's going to be mad! She told you to change shoes!" "I did," Betty said. "These are yours."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-12-2007 07:53 AM                        Rated G B.B. A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents' ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come and see! One of the chickens is in bloom!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-12-2007 07:55 AM                        Rated G Lorraine I found my husband kneeling in front of the dryer. "What are you looking for?" I asked. He pointed to his feet and I noticed that he was wearing only one sock. He grinned at me and said, "I'm searching for my sole mate."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-12-2007 01:40 PM                        Rated G Lorraine My daughter and her friend Karen, both in fourth grade, were reading their report cards to me. Karen, very strong academically, read out her teacher's comments, which said if she'd interact with all the students in class, she'd make a "great role model." "Shoot!" Karen exclaimed as she looked up at me. "I wanted to be a vet!  |  IP: Logged

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